To struggle with a friends extreme anti abortion views

[bagpuss90]

I accept that we all have to agree to disagree on some stuff. But I am struggling with a friends extreme anti abortion views . She thinks even if a woman is raped- she shouldn’t be allowed an abortion. She’s quite opinionated anyway . I can see us falling out soon. I’ve told her I no longer wish to discuss it but she still airs her views. The thing that really gets me (and okay we have probably all done things we regret) is that she’s had two abortions herself including a late one . I don’t want to break off our friendship but I’m struggling

I couldn't be friends with someone who is both anti choice and a hypocrite.

How on earth does she consolidate those views with having had abortions herself? I’d be reconsidering my friendship with this hypocrite tbh, and I don’t want to be lectured by friends anyway.

Let her have her views. You can just disagree with her. We live in a country where we are free to think what we think ( lucky for us). The alternative is much much worse.

She wouldn't be my friend

Anyone who wants to force a birth, and control other women's body is a cunt and can fuck off

She’s a hypocrite. That’s all you need to know. I’d distance myself regardless of my own views on the subject.

Has she explained why she's changed her mind so drastically?

Is this a change in her behaviour/mentality or has she always been like this?

Remind her of her previous abortions and ask her why she's now against it.

Maybe she regrets her abortions and wishes she hadn't had the option, although that doesn't explain why she had another after the first. No excuse for wanting to deny others the option, of course. But whatever, yes she's a huge hypocrite. If she continued to insist on inflicting these views on me then I would be extremely likely to fall out with her, I think, which is something I try very hard not to do.

Presumably it's a far more complex thing for her than her very fixed position she is stating. I can only speculate her anti position is tied up with regret and wishing it wasn't possible for her. Who really knows?
People are allowed different opinions thank god , but you must decide if its a deal breaker for you .

Presumably she regrets her abortions, so wants to warn other women off having one? Otherwise, yes, she is a complete hypocrite.

She’ become very religious -it’s tied up with that

Keep it light and don't talk about it.

Sounds heavy, tell her to tell you a joke instead.

I couldn't be friends with someone with such extreme views, there would be a fundamental lack of respect, and I can't be friends with someone I don't respect.

Agreed. It sounds more complex and likely has deeper psychological layers to it based on her history- but still tough for you OP

Tell her she really can’t air those views after having two abortions herself. She can’t even argue that she regrets it so much if she then had a second. And her views should never impact another woman’s right to choose. Distance from this friendship.

Ah there you go. Tbh I doubt the friendship will survive as she will start having other "strong" opinions too about many other things. She's basically being radicalised and brainwashed.Does she attend church ?

Exactly this.

No big drama. If you want to stay friends tell her straight you're not talking about it and stick firmly to it.

She can't discuss it with herself.

It seems as if this is the end of the friendship to be honest. Please at least tell her why.

I could not be friends with a forced birth supporter.

Tell her she really can’t air those views after having two abortions herself. She can’t even argue that she regrets it so much if she then had a second.

Yes she can - anyone can.

Anyone can grow/develop/change their minds/see things completely differently at any point in their lives.

I absolutely don't agree with her views or the way she pushes them down the OP's throat, but she can hold and air any views she wants.

Did she have the previous abortions before she became religious? Has she said how she now feels about them?

How is her religion affecting her views on other sensitive issues, for example homosexuality, divorce, end of life care etc? If it's changed her views, are her new views acceptable to you?

If you want to remain her friend you need to tell her that the subject of abortion is off the table for discussion permanently. Personally I wouldn't be friends with a forced birther, but to each their own.

Exactly what jeaux90 said.