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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not take a pregnancy test because DP says so?

103 replies

xtvv07 · 09/07/2022 20:19

This morning DP woke up and told me he had a weird dream about me being pregnant again and that was it. However, this afternoon he's been asking me to take a pregnancy test in case I am, I've told him I'm not and he is still telling me too, I told him I was on my period about 2 weeks ago and again, he's not believing it even though I told him I was at the time as I asked him to pick up some pads. He asked if id take one if he went out to buy it, I said no but he's gone out anyway.

Aibu by refusing take one?

OP posts:
Starlightstarbright1 · 09/07/2022 20:22

Do you plan to have more children ? Is he anxious normally?

On its own sounds odd. I would concern myself what else you have to do to deal with his anxiety

Ntsure · 09/07/2022 20:22

Yeah don't take one. Why's he being so weird

ThisOneNow · 09/07/2022 20:23

I'd find that odd and a controlling but maybe not a major issue if that sort of behaviour is a one-off. Tell him he needs to do one first and see how he feels about being told to pee on a stick!

Unanananana · 09/07/2022 20:25

Is there any chance you could be pregnant? I'd do one just to shut him up if there was a chance.

Otherwise he could whistle.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 09/07/2022 20:26

I don’t know. I can understand you saying no but I can also understand the irrational thoughts of being pregnant and needing to test. I think I would just do it to put my DH’s mind at ease. I’ve peed on so many sticks that it really wouldn’t bother me.

NoSquirrels · 09/07/2022 20:26

If your relationship is generally fine I’d pee on a stick - I’d tell him it was a waste of money, and I’d only do it this once on his say so to humour him. But only if my relationship was otherwise fine.

If you have any nagging doubts about control, bodily autonomy, being pressurised into pregnancy or any other shit relationship stuff like him generally refusing to listen to you or being otherwise dismissive/controlling I’d tell him to sod off.

Arenanewbie · 09/07/2022 20:29

YABU. Just do it, it’s not like he’s asking you to do a smear test.
He certainly had very realistic dream, it happens. When I was a kid I had a dream about our neighbour being pregnant (completely out of the blue) and turned out she was. It actually was unplanned pregnancy so it’s not like I picked up on any conversations.

cottagegardenflower · 09/07/2022 20:44

If you have a normal happy relationship most of the time, I would do it. He clearly has some strange anxiety going on. If he is normally anxious and neurotic, don't, it's just feeding the anxiety

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/07/2022 20:46

It's your body. I wouldn't on principle.

chilledbubble · 09/07/2022 20:48

I'd agree to do one if my next period was late

WTF475878237NC · 09/07/2022 20:51

If this guy is normally the light of your life then I'd do a test to make him feel better. If he's someone you wouldn't want a daughter to marry then I wouldn't...and would be planning on leaving anyway!

Everydayimhuffling · 09/07/2022 20:53

I'd tell DP he was being ridiculous, but I'd do it to make him feel better. If your relationship is generally good then it's not that big an ask. If he's controlling in any way it would add to my concerns, however.

Penfelyn · 09/07/2022 20:53

I wouldn't. You told him there was not even a slight possibility, he needs to accept your word.

alphapie · 09/07/2022 20:55

I can't imagine being this funny about taking a test tbh.

Just take the test and prove him wrong, hardly an arduous task is it.

Cantbebotheredwithausername · 09/07/2022 20:56

Honestly, between trying to conceive, using ovulation tests and pregnancy tests, and then peeing on those diabetes- and UTI sticks throughout pregnancy, I've already peed on so many sticks that I'd do one more without even needing to be awake for it, if my DP was having a freak-out and it'd put his mind at ease.

If he is normally controlling, I'd refuse. But it sounds like he is just having a freak-out, and if it's a one-off, I'd just go with it. Of course you're not pregnant, and if you were on your period two weeks ago, the test can't detect anything anyway. But if it helps your DP, I wouldn't mind doing it.

qpmz · 09/07/2022 20:57

It's no big deal and takes 2 mins to take a test so I would. It depends if this is a one off or if this is part of bigger issues he has?

Daisy95 · 09/07/2022 20:57

God I wouldn't think twice about doing this if it eased his mind id humour him lol

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/07/2022 20:58

alphapie · 09/07/2022 20:55

I can't imagine being this funny about taking a test tbh.

Just take the test and prove him wrong, hardly an arduous task is it.

Because she's saying she's not, it's her body and she doesn't want to. He's basically calling her a liar. DH wouldn't ask me to pee on a stick if I said I wasn't pregnant.

seaUrchinOne · 09/07/2022 20:59

Yanbu you know your cycle better than him, there's no point in testing unless your late. Is he hoping for pregnancy?

MuddlingThroughLifeLittleByLittle · 09/07/2022 21:00

I would to ease his mind.. And prove a point.

RenegadeMatron · 09/07/2022 21:01

What’s the big deal?

I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume your relationship is good - because - well, why wouldn’t it be?

If you had your own niggles / doubts about it, you’d simply take a test. This is exactly the same.

🤷🏻‍♀️

Really not getting the drama.

GreatStuff67 · 09/07/2022 21:04

He's clearly very worried. If he's a good bloke I really don't understand your refusal.

Also, I'm presuming you've not had sex since your last period? Because otherwise the part about your period was two weeks ago is odd to include. You could be pregnant now, if you've had sex.

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/07/2022 21:08

GreatStuff67 · 09/07/2022 21:04

He's clearly very worried. If he's a good bloke I really don't understand your refusal.

Also, I'm presuming you've not had sex since your last period? Because otherwise the part about your period was two weeks ago is odd to include. You could be pregnant now, if you've had sex.

It wouldn't show yet. So there's no point.

chilledbubble · 09/07/2022 21:09

I mean if he's worrying about it that's just what women go through with the 2 week wait if they are TTC so he can just wait. No point peeing on a stick yet.

WimbyAce · 09/07/2022 21:15

Wouldn't bother me at all taking one but strange he's so obsessed about it.

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