Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not take a pregnancy test because DP says so?

103 replies

xtvv07 · 09/07/2022 20:19

This morning DP woke up and told me he had a weird dream about me being pregnant again and that was it. However, this afternoon he's been asking me to take a pregnancy test in case I am, I've told him I'm not and he is still telling me too, I told him I was on my period about 2 weeks ago and again, he's not believing it even though I told him I was at the time as I asked him to pick up some pads. He asked if id take one if he went out to buy it, I said no but he's gone out anyway.

Aibu by refusing take one?

OP posts:
tararabumdeay · 10/07/2022 00:02

Queen Victora and Prince Albert had 9 children. Maybe your 'd'p needs education about causality.

SunflowerGardens · 10/07/2022 00:04

This has just reminded me I dreamt the other night that I was ten weeks pregnant. I only had my period 2 weeks ago so I can't be but now I am doubting myself and wanting to test Grin

SunflowerGardens · 10/07/2022 00:07

ProfessorFusspot · 09/07/2022 23:46

I told him I was on my period about 2 weeks ago and again, he's not believing it even though I told him I was at the time...

I'd not be impressed if he was claiming I was lying about when I had my period, or thinking I don't know/remember. Taking the test isn't a big deal; his not trusting you is.

A home preg test much before your first missed period likely won't be very accurate anyway.

After TTC for some years and spending time on conception boards, quite a lot of women have no idea how monthly cycles and conception works so I think we could probably assume that he could think it entirely possible OP could have had her period 2 weeks ago and still produce a positive test today.

Frazzledmummy123 · 10/07/2022 00:12

It'd irritate me, however if it was only a pregnancy test which he is going to pay for then I'd just do it to keep him happy. as a pp said, it isn't anything invasive like a smear test he's asking you to do.

Somethingneedstochange · 10/07/2022 00:12

I would take one just so he stfu. Have you never watched I didn't know I was pregnant?😂😂😂

UniversalAunt · 10/07/2022 00:21

As others have said, much depends upon the underlying health of your relationship.

Yes, he can have a 2WW for you both to find out (assuming that you are regular).

or

He could get two test kits. He goes first & then you do yours.
Absurd him taking the test, he may say. Yes that’s the point.

or

Just maybe, you are pregnant. But you have had a bleed so you could be six weeks-ish & he has unconsciously picked up the subtle changes, e.g. in your body odour etc, & this has ‘come to him’ in his dream. Just maybe.

Booklover3 · 10/07/2022 00:47

I’d probably just laugh and oblige while reminding him that there’s no point if you’re only two weeks into the cycle.

Somuchgoo · 10/07/2022 00:55

I had one a dream about 6 years ago (on the day my period was due), that I peed on a stick and it came up positive.

We'd been vaguely trying for a baby, but pretty relaxed and I'd been away with work my entire fertile period.

The dream was so realistic that I went to the shop. That was how I found out I was expecting!

Ice had a few ultra realistic dreams in my life, and they've often been predictive of the future - not always in a good way, but this one was.

I'd humour him and if he buys a stick, I'd pee on it.

WhimsicalGubbins · 10/07/2022 00:58

FYI, having a recent ‘period’ actually means nothing in the real world. It’s very common to still bleed at least once in early pregnancy. I had what looked like a normal period at 3 weeks pregnant (obviously not an actual period, but it certainly mimicked one) so it never crossed my mind-then 3 more weeks passed and I started feeling ‘different’
lo and behold, I was 6 weeks pregnant

TiddyTidTwo · 10/07/2022 00:59

Dreams are strange things and can be quite disconcerting!

I'd do it but it's pointless right now.

He could be right though so if you're late in 2 weeks it could be a premonition!

MsOllie · 10/07/2022 01:02

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 09/07/2022 22:41

I was told that aged around 7 I had a dream about 'mummy having a baby'. Told my Dad that Mum's having a baby. Turns out she was and hadn't told him yet 😂

I had a dream my friend was pregnant with a boy and she was "but I don't know boys! What do I do?!"
She was 5 weeks pregnant. Yes, it was a boy GrinBlush

Musti · 10/07/2022 01:24

Yanbu. No point as it wouldn’t show so early even if you were just pregnant.

DailyDuckie · 10/07/2022 02:34

Put his mind at ease. You would take it if you were feeling weird about it, you should do it for him. Don’t shit his feelings down

PortalooSunset · 10/07/2022 12:38

Why are you so resistant to it op?

Rainbowbaby13 · 10/07/2022 14:25

DailyDuckie · 10/07/2022 02:34

Put his mind at ease. You would take it if you were feeling weird about it, you should do it for him. Don’t shit his feelings down

100% this

TurquoiseDragon · 10/07/2022 14:40

NumberTheory · 09/07/2022 23:42

If this is an anomaly and he's not normally controlling or disbelieving of you then I would just do the test.

But if it's part of a general attitude towards you that you can't be trusted or that he constantly wants you to prove things to him/do as he says for spurious reasons/pander to anxiety/etc. then I wouldn't, I'd tell hi he just needs to chill and trust you to know your own body better than his dreams do.

I agree with this.

It's all well and good telling OP just to take the test to ease her DP's mind, but what else does he want reassurance on? Having been in an abusive relationship, I can look back and see that this kind of thing was how the control stuff began, with little things my ex "needed" to be reassured about.

TheWayoftheLeaf · 10/07/2022 14:42

I've taken them after having weird dreams about being pregnant. It's obviously just made him worried. I don't get why you wouldn't take one to help him feel better?

It's peeing on a stick not ritual sacrifice

Rainbowbaby13 · 10/07/2022 14:47

TheWayoftheLeaf · 10/07/2022 14:42

I've taken them after having weird dreams about being pregnant. It's obviously just made him worried. I don't get why you wouldn't take one to help him feel better?

It's peeing on a stick not ritual sacrifice

😂😂😂

knittingaddict · 10/07/2022 14:47

What is it with men dreaming weird things and believing they are real? We had the one recently about a man dreaming that he had a child with a previous partner. Same man?Dreams aren't real.

Carrotzen · 10/07/2022 15:01

I've had vivid dreams that I'm convinced are real

It's just a pregnancy test. Just do one when you go for a wee, it's in no way invasive or has any impact on your day really. Yes it's a bit silly but I don't really get the resistance

MRex · 11/07/2022 08:34

Pregnancy tests can show a result only 10 days after conception, and some people ovulate early. (Plus OP's "2 weeks" could be dated from the end of her period and nearly 3 weeks for all we know.) Saying a test definitely must be negative simply isn't true, sorry!
Also mine was positive long before my period was due, I felt pregnant so I decided to test and then test again later when I was due. But no need for the later tests.

ladydoris · 11/07/2022 08:42

MRex · 11/07/2022 08:34

Pregnancy tests can show a result only 10 days after conception, and some people ovulate early. (Plus OP's "2 weeks" could be dated from the end of her period and nearly 3 weeks for all we know.) Saying a test definitely must be negative simply isn't true, sorry!
Also mine was positive long before my period was due, I felt pregnant so I decided to test and then test again later when I was due. But no need for the later tests.

That was my reasoning when I changed my mind.

mrsbitaly · 11/07/2022 08:46

Just checking in to see if your pregnant

🤣

Soubriquet · 11/07/2022 08:49

Is it really going to kill you to pee on a stick to put his mind at ease?

really?!

Andromachehadabadday · 11/07/2022 08:52

Unless this is a common occurrence or he is controlling in general, I don’t see the issue.

It’s not the same as an std test or being pegged, for those that said that.

if a woman posted she was anxious and her dp could do something small to help her, most people would agree he was a dick for refusing to do it. Again, this is on the assumption there’s no huge back story.