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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not take a pregnancy test because DP says so?

103 replies

xtvv07 · 09/07/2022 20:19

This morning DP woke up and told me he had a weird dream about me being pregnant again and that was it. However, this afternoon he's been asking me to take a pregnancy test in case I am, I've told him I'm not and he is still telling me too, I told him I was on my period about 2 weeks ago and again, he's not believing it even though I told him I was at the time as I asked him to pick up some pads. He asked if id take one if he went out to buy it, I said no but he's gone out anyway.

Aibu by refusing take one?

OP posts:
SomePosters · 09/07/2022 21:15

NoSquirrels · 09/07/2022 20:26

If your relationship is generally fine I’d pee on a stick - I’d tell him it was a waste of money, and I’d only do it this once on his say so to humour him. But only if my relationship was otherwise fine.

If you have any nagging doubts about control, bodily autonomy, being pressurised into pregnancy or any other shit relationship stuff like him generally refusing to listen to you or being otherwise dismissive/controlling I’d tell him to sod off.

This

it’s not a massive ask as a one off to allay someone’s fear after a bad dream

but if it’s part of a bigger picture of controlling your behaviour or became a habit I’d refuse

Jessperry · 09/07/2022 21:18

GreatStuff67 · 09/07/2022 21:04

He's clearly very worried. If he's a good bloke I really don't understand your refusal.

Also, I'm presuming you've not had sex since your last period? Because otherwise the part about your period was two weeks ago is odd to include. You could be pregnant now, if you've had sex.

I don't think it was odd to include that her period was 2 weeks ago- I think OP is pointing out that she isn't late and if her period was only 2 weeks ago, a test would be pointless as it wouldn't detect a pregnancy even if there was one there at that point.
Having said that, I would do it if my relationship was decent and not controlling, having told him that it was pointless at this time just to shut him up.

MRex · 09/07/2022 21:19

I get quite realistic seeming dreams and have taken tests because of them. I'd do it if DH wanted. Not sure why not to really, it's easy and you get an outcome of pregnant or not so there's the answer.

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/07/2022 21:22

But you don't get an answer, because her period was two weeks ago.

Whatthefuck3456 · 09/07/2022 21:25

Waiting for the update OP is pregnant

Ponderingwindow · 09/07/2022 21:25

If my DH was anxious about it and needed me to pee on a pregnancy test, I would do it and hand it to him to watch the results .

we do silly little things for our partners all the time. This costs you basically nothing if he does all the prep and cleanup.

BanjoVio · 09/07/2022 21:26

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/07/2022 21:08

It wouldn't show yet. So there's no point.

Show quote history

Yes, I was about to say exactly this. If you had a period only two weeks ago then it’ll be almost two weeks more before a test would show positive anyway, so there’s no point.

GreatStuff67 · 09/07/2022 21:28

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/07/2022 21:08

It wouldn't show yet. So there's no point.

Show quote history

Ohhhh yeah I forgot about that part 😂 In that case I'd definitely just pee on the stick. You know it'll be negative and problem solved

UndertheCedartree · 09/07/2022 21:30

No, I wouldn't. I can't afford to buy a pregnancy test, just to humour someone.

Poetnojo · 09/07/2022 21:31

I wouldn't have an issue with this

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/07/2022 21:31

The problem of him being a bit thick and not believing a woman about her own biology and counting wouldn't be solved.

I'd 'have a dream' about him having Covid and make him take an old skool brain-tickling test. For fun.

ladydoris · 09/07/2022 21:36

I would not do it because it's not scientific. I don't do crazy. He would have to wait. Did he tell you the end of the dream ? Dreaming of you being pregnant might not mean what he thinks.

MarshaMelrose · 09/07/2022 21:42

Just take one. If you'd had a weird dream, you'd happily take one for yourself. He has no control of anything over pregnancy so just do this for him. Don't be so mean.

dawngreen · 09/07/2022 21:44

Say you had a dream about him needing to visit the doctors for a test. The doctor put on gloves that should shut him up.

spotcheck · 09/07/2022 21:44

Can you not just do the test to put his mind at ease? Surely it’s ok to just indulge your partner now and again? Like, on account of living the person you’re with?

GreatStuff67 · 09/07/2022 21:44

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/07/2022 21:31

The problem of him being a bit thick and not believing a woman about her own biology and counting wouldn't be solved.

I'd 'have a dream' about him having Covid and make him take an old skool brain-tickling test. For fun.

Do it and frame the negative result to remind him of that time he was a plonker?

chilledbubble · 09/07/2022 21:47

spotcheck · 09/07/2022 21:44

Can you not just do the test to put his mind at ease? Surely it’s ok to just indulge your partner now and again? Like, on account of living the person you’re with?

Because its a waste of a test

Sometimeswinning · 09/07/2022 21:49

I'd do it! But he's my dh, I like him so it's a no brainer. I'd obviously take the piss after and remind him I know my body. No drama. No accusations of being controlling needed.

ladydoris · 09/07/2022 21:52

Sometimeswinning · 09/07/2022 21:49

I'd do it! But he's my dh, I like him so it's a no brainer. I'd obviously take the piss after and remind him I know my body. No drama. No accusations of being controlling needed.

This is a viable option too.

alphapie · 09/07/2022 21:52

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/07/2022 21:31

The problem of him being a bit thick and not believing a woman about her own biology and counting wouldn't be solved.

I'd 'have a dream' about him having Covid and make him take an old skool brain-tickling test. For fun.

Considering how many 'thick' women post on here every day not knowing their own bodies that's a bit harsh tbh.

Squidwitch · 09/07/2022 21:56

Tell him you had a nightmare he'd had a one night stand, and he needs to pop to the clinic for sexual health test, you know, to put your mind at rest

WhiteFire · 09/07/2022 21:58

I once made DH apologize for a dream affair as I was really mad at him when I woke up. So peeing on a stick seems a small thing to do.

SisterAgatha · 09/07/2022 22:01

I know if my DP asked me this I’d just do it because he knows I’d be terrified about being pregnant again and a dream would be enough to sway me.

We absolutely do not want any more children so I know the dream would bother him. I didn’t know I was pregnant with my third roll I was 3 months so I randomly test anyway just in case.

NortieTortie · 09/07/2022 22:02

It's silly but I'd do it. I once cried to my dh about a baby that I birthed and raised to a small, gap-toothed child in one dream. I was heartbroken when I woke up and it hit me that she never existed 😂.

orbitalcrisis · 09/07/2022 22:02

Really odd. Tell him you'll take a pregnancy test but you had a dream about him liking being pegged, so you just want to make sure ...