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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not take a pregnancy test because DP says so?

103 replies

xtvv07 · 09/07/2022 20:19

This morning DP woke up and told me he had a weird dream about me being pregnant again and that was it. However, this afternoon he's been asking me to take a pregnancy test in case I am, I've told him I'm not and he is still telling me too, I told him I was on my period about 2 weeks ago and again, he's not believing it even though I told him I was at the time as I asked him to pick up some pads. He asked if id take one if he went out to buy it, I said no but he's gone out anyway.

Aibu by refusing take one?

OP posts:
Sometimeswinning · 09/07/2022 22:03

WhiteFire · 09/07/2022 21:58

I once made DH apologize for a dream affair as I was really mad at him when I woke up. So peeing on a stick seems a small thing to do.

I've done this. I remember having to tell him during an argument why I was so pissy with him that morning. He looked really bemused and apologised. So yeah I'd wee on a stick for him.

MarshaMelrose · 09/07/2022 22:05

Squidwitch · 09/07/2022 21:56

Tell him you had a nightmare he'd had a one night stand, and he needs to pop to the clinic for sexual health test, you know, to put your mind at rest

There's a bit difference between going into a sexual health clinic for an embarrassing examination and weeing on a sticking your private bathroom. 🙄

Fulbe · 09/07/2022 22:07

@Arenanewbie The first indication that I was pregnant was that a neighbour asked me. That was before a pregnancy test would have shown it! I think he has a skill he could charge for!!

Triffid1 · 09/07/2022 22:13

I once had a dream.my dad was ill. I knew it was ridiculous. But try though I might, I couldn't get it out of my head until I had rung my parents to check (casually) on him.

Iwould take the test. Unless he is regularly controlling and irrational.

InTheNightWeWillWish · 09/07/2022 22:15

Normally I would say obviously you don’t have to do a test if you don’t want to. However, I recently had a feeling that was just like when I was pregnant. I knew I wasn’t pregnant. We have a baby and sex is not high on the list at the minute so we hasn’t had sex since my last period. And we are using contraception, on the rare occasion we do have sex. Still, once that thought of “this is how I was when I was pregnant” entered my head nothing other than a negative pregnancy test would quiet my brain. No other fact would stop my brain telling me I was pregnant.

If he’s normally a good guy, he obviously needs to see the negative test because his brain just won’t believe otherwise.

Thebeastofsleep · 09/07/2022 22:15

I'd do it for DH if he asked, but that's based on our relationship and how he'd have to have been really shaken up to ask something like that.

Primatrying · 09/07/2022 22:16

I'd do it. I've had dreams come true before.

FictionalCharacter · 09/07/2022 22:16

I wouldn’t do it just to appease him.
Problem #1, you said no and he went out to buy one anyway. His wish doesn’t trump yours.
Problem #2, he wants you to do a test 2 weeks after LMP. If you’re not pregnant the test will be negative. If you are pregnant the test will be negative. If he’s going to try to order you to do tests he needs to understand how they work.
Problem #3, he’s expecting you to act on a dream he had, which is ridiculous. If I tried to make people do things on the basis of my frankly bonkers dream world, I’d be asking them to do all sorts of weird shit.

CallOnMe · 09/07/2022 22:19

YABU
Its literally peeing on a stick which will ease his massive anxiety so what is the read you don’t want to do it?
Do you like seeing his distressed?

If it’s the opposite and he’s desperately hoping you’re pregnant then why not nip this in the bud before he gets his hopes up even more.

You don’t sound like a very nice person, let alone a partner.

TeapotTitties · 09/07/2022 22:33

It's only a bit of piss

I don't see the problem

Arenanewbie · 09/07/2022 22:33

@Fulbe tbh I still can’t believe that it’s happened. I was about 10 and told my Mum about the dream, she mentioned it to this lady as a joke . Imagine Mum’s surprise when she’s answered her that yes, she was actually pregnant and they’ve just decided to keep it. No way I knew something or heard something or whatever. She wasn’t even a next door neighbour.

IncompleteSenten · 09/07/2022 22:39

I'd do it. If it means that much to him, I'd give him a cup of my pee.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 09/07/2022 22:41

I was told that aged around 7 I had a dream about 'mummy having a baby'. Told my Dad that Mum's having a baby. Turns out she was and hadn't told him yet 😂

GreatStuff67 · 09/07/2022 22:41

IncompleteSenten · 09/07/2022 22:39

I'd do it. If it means that much to him, I'd give him a cup of my pee.

😂😂 The most romantic thing ever said

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/07/2022 22:48

Do it and frame the negative result to remind him of that time he was a plonker?

Next level petty. I love it.

Rainbowbaby13 · 09/07/2022 22:50

Just pee on the stick it can't hurt

Humour him

TokyoTen · 09/07/2022 23:02

I'd do it willingly for DH. If it helps put his mind at rest why not? It's not difficult or painful.

Barrawarra · 09/07/2022 23:16

OPs been gone a while since posting, does that mean you’ve agreed to and are now dealing with the shock?? Or perhaps more likely still arguing about it?!

Dyra · 09/07/2022 23:17

I would. But then DH is aware of what it takes to get me pregnant. Taking a whole lotta drugs, having a lot more sex, not breastfeeding and no implant in my arm. All of those statements are false atm. So if he's having intrusive thoughts, that can be proven wrong just by me having a wee, I'm going to pull down my big girl pants and piss on as many sticks as I need to make those thoughts go away.

Dic · 09/07/2022 23:26

Just POAS

HundredAcreW00d · 09/07/2022 23:26

I personally would have just done it. As DH has done LFT covid tests every time I have asked him to, despite me being over cautious at times. If it stops him being anxious and is no real intrusive bother to me then why not.

youlightupmyday · 09/07/2022 23:32

I would do it, no question for my DP. But we look after each other. What is your relationship like that you are baulking at this?

NumberTheory · 09/07/2022 23:42

If this is an anomaly and he's not normally controlling or disbelieving of you then I would just do the test.

But if it's part of a general attitude towards you that you can't be trusted or that he constantly wants you to prove things to him/do as he says for spurious reasons/pander to anxiety/etc. then I wouldn't, I'd tell hi he just needs to chill and trust you to know your own body better than his dreams do.

LibrariesGiveUsPower · 09/07/2022 23:43

Well I had such a vivid dream about a year ago I was pregnant that I had to go test. I was on the pill but still, it played on my mind so badly. It was negative. Husband thought I’d lost the plot but left me to it.

think it helped me realise I really don’t want another one.

if your relationship is otherwise healthy and happy humour him. Dreams can be terrifyingly real for some people.

ProfessorFusspot · 09/07/2022 23:46

I told him I was on my period about 2 weeks ago and again, he's not believing it even though I told him I was at the time...

I'd not be impressed if he was claiming I was lying about when I had my period, or thinking I don't know/remember. Taking the test isn't a big deal; his not trusting you is.

A home preg test much before your first missed period likely won't be very accurate anyway.