To not want to raise a child into this vicious, dog-eat-dog, cut-throat country?

[summergal250]

Really I'm pretty close to giving up on the idea of one day having kids.

Why?

Unless you're rich, everything in the country is just an endless, ceaseless, dog-eat-dog fight over scraps. Day after day, month after month, year after year. I don't want my child to have to deal with this crap.

Examples:
. I'm currently having issues with the landlord over various repairs he's dragging his feet on. His attitude is, if you don't like it move. I pay £700 for this crappy shoebox. I could just move - again - or threaten court action, which as empty as any money I'd get from that would be wiped out by legal fees.

. This is like my 10th rental in 12 years. EVERY single one them had at least one serious issue with it - mice, damp, noise issues, no washing machine, landlords entering property etc. Out all of them only one landlord was actually a decent person - all the rest having been lying, cheating, two-faced money-grubbers. Of course, not a problem if mummy and daddy can give you a deposit. In my 30s yet feel as I'm trapped in a permanent state of being 21.

. I work full time and do freelance in my spare time. I constantly look for new, better paying roles and I have been saving for a deposit for years and as house prices just rise and rise it feels I'm getting nowhere. I'm almost at the point of saying, why bother? How is it fair to raise a kid in some crummy tiny flat? The housing issue has been a problem for 20 years and NOTHING has been done - every year it just gets worse and worse. Meanwhile smug boomers who bought their semi for £80K in 1979 bang on about avocados.

. I got conned into doing a degree which every adult in my teens said would be a ticket to a great future. Instead, all it represents is a massive pile of debt and a waste of three years. Yet, even a receptionist job now insists on a degree, so you have to do it, even though only a degree from Oxbridge or a top redbrick is worth anything these days.

. Jobs - graduated into the recession. I've had jobs where I've been bullied, others with psycho bosses, others with vicious backstabbing 'colleagues'. Constantly the implicit threat of - if you don't like it we'll fire you. Felt I was finally getting somewhere in my old job and then was made redundant during covid. Cue several months of soul-destroying unemployment. The job I have now is ok but less well paid then my old one - so, more struggle, more jostling for favour, wasting more of my free time looking for a better paid jobs, more endless rounds of interviews. I feel like I've been going up the down escalator the entire time. Every year it seems the jobs market gets fiercer, more competitive, more brutal and cut-throat.

. The low pay means I spend large chunks of my free time freelancing. I enjoy it but it can be exhausting. Atm I'm embroiled in a dispute with a client who is refusing to pay for some completed work (with £700) - turns out he's con man with a dodgy past. I'm having to take him to a small claims court - yet more of my time and energy wasted.

. Similar to an occasion a few months back where a hotel Cornwall was nothing like the pics when I got there - it was in a disgusting state. I cancelled and went elsewhere, and then was embroiled in a 3 month battle to get my money back, with the owner only relenting when I got the local council involved.

Spotting a pattern?

If you're not rich in this country everything's just a pointless, exhausting fight to keep your head above water. Every economic interaction is just a vicious bare-knuckle fight, with people out to shaft you for what they can. Honestly, if it wasn't for my family and friends I really would have just given up on the human race.

I won't go into the this country's general lack of manners, the yobbish behaviour of many people here, the rows of homeless tents in out high streets, the crappy education system, the utterly broken and corrupt political system, and the general utter madness society seems to fall further into with every passing year. The quality of life here just deteriorates every year.

So, basically, I don't want to inflict this on a child. My life is worse than my parents - fact. I'm doubt I'll ever reach their level. If you're not rich, children have no future in this country - just an endless treadmill of debt and exploitation. And every trend I've discussed above is getting worse - I just dread to think how things will be when they grew up.

And before people start saying, 'maybe it's you' - believe you me, I've fought coming to these conclusions tooth and nail. Grew up in a firm Old Labour home - solidarity and all that. I used to be the classic caring, sharing, naive people-pleaser - after years of being taken advantage of and shafted I've bit by bit given up. Now all I care about is myself, my family and my immediate friends.

No it is not a myth. OP at least you are not having to deal with racism, on top of every thing else.

And every other ccountry in the world is nirvana! Some people need to get out more and look before they make whinging sweeping statements.

What measure are you basing that on?

We have lower wealth inequality in the UK than in Sweden, a country that’s generally held out to be far more equal than we are.

Our GINI coefficient is pretty similar to neighbouring countries.

It is a myth, no evidence the signs ever existed. Look it up.

Yep, no racism around these days in the boris utopia

I agree I would not be surprised if my dc go abroad after uni as there is no family money to help them on housing ladder here. I think we will see a massive brain drain. Outside business and finance everyone has had wage stagnation for 12 years yet paying more for education, housing etc

It’s generally accepted by historians that that sign never existed.

No-one is claiming that there is no racism; we’ve even seen posters on here getting very angry at the idea that the next PM may not be white

And every other ccountry in the world is nirvana! Some people need to get out more and look before they make whinging sweeping statements.

^

Hence why I now live abroad. I. E Getting out more

What’s stopping them getting a job as a doctor, lawyer, banker or accountant, and earning a good wage that way?

If they aren’t academic enough for that they can train as a plumber, electrician, or many other trades that also pay well, and then they don’t even need to get the degree first.

I think it's sad that you might give up on having children because of your experiences in this country. You should definitely pop off to a better country elsewhere.

@GCHeretic a number of things including income, wealth, gdp per capita, life expectancy etc.

In my day (50 years ago), 5% of the population went to university. I don't know what the percentage is today but I would think at least 80%

Not even close. Generous estimates have it at 50% but this article explains why it’s lower
www.theguardian.com/higher-education-network/blog/2013/jun/04/higher-education-participation-data-analysis

I have 2 DC in their 30’s. Neither wants a child of their own. One of the main reasons they’ve cited as not wanting children is the way society is now. I can’t say I disagree with them, so I hear you OP. It’s an endless treadmill of trying to not only survive but maybe, if you’re lucky, earn a bit extra to do some nice things. But if something goes wrong, it all falls apart and life is miserable.

I’m quite happy with where I am now but it’s taken years to get here. And of course I have to keep the plates spinning to maintain it.

What’s stopping them getting a job as a doctor, lawyer, banker or accountant, and earning a good wage that way?

We can't recruit enough doctors currently. I do think we will see more migration of skills abroad for a better quality of life. With the ageing population we also have more burden on tax payers.

Our birth rate is very low & one of the reasons is the cost of living

My quality of life has a direct correlation to how much money I have. It’s not as simple as saying ‘just get a better paid job’ or ‘move out of the south east’. These are deeply ingrained structural issues, not individual ones, and they’re only goi g to get worse.

^^

I'm surprised by some of the push back on here against the OP's post - seems like a legitimate expression of how unfair the system can be on several fronts - seems like this is uncomfortable to hear?

I agree with the poster above, these are deeply ingrained structural issues, not individual ones.

Some interesting graphs here, although charities etc, say the statistics massively underestimated ate the levels of wealth inequality in the uk. What happened in the 80s? The end of social democracy and the start of unrestrained, destructive capitalist neo liberalism. Have a look at conservative prime ministers economic policies from the 50s and 60s and see how far right things have become.

Agreed. There are plenty of "boomers" who became adults in Thatcher's Britain, with all that entailed for many people, including home repossessions.

I would not argue that things are great, they aren't but there has never been a Golden Age for anyone except the rich. There are huge issues and inequalities. We need to be prepared to actually stand up and do something, as individuals and through organising, because ennui will get us nowhere (thankfully we seem to be getting beyond the 80s lie that being in a union was a Bad Thing) We need to vote accordingly, hold those people we elect to account by insisting on change, much more housing and an end to an exploitative gig economy being a start. It is the only way anything will get better.

Well no, as above, our GINI is similar to neighbouring countries. What source of data do you have to back up your claim? I think that you have it wrong. A GINI of 35 does not reflect huge inequality.

I think it’s also because the attitude in Britain has shifted from ‘how can we improve?’ to ‘at least we’re not North Korea’. Which is also depressing.

Who manages to buy a home these days without any parental help?

I'm in my 30s & don't know anyone who has

I think it’s also because the attitude in Britain has shifted from ‘how can we improve?’ to ‘at least we’re not North Korea’. Which is also depressing.

We are aiming high!

When did they buy their houses though?

That last paragraph is definitely true. If someone is always experiencing issues with the people all around then, chances are high it's them whose actually the issue.

@GCHeretic what are you querying? that we don't have wealth inequality or big differences in life expectancy?

A GINI of 35 does not reflect huge inequality.

I never said did, I'm unsure why you are only focusing on GINI?