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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boasts on FB

114 replies

QuizzicalLady · 08/07/2022 18:59

I'm just wondering what other people's opinions of this are and have name changed for this. An acquaintance of mine on Facebook has just posted a picture of a brand new expensive SUV declaring she has been waiting 'years for this'. As far as I know, she doesn't work, doesn't own her own home, yet her partner has a small garage. AIBU to wonder, where I'm going wrong in life? I have a full time well paid job, yet this is beyond reach. I am a homeowner so perhaps that's the difference? I'm assuming renters just know that they are never going to get accepted for a mortgage, just need to do splurge and therefore know that car finance is a lot easier to get than a mortgage?? Or are they just not sensible with money, and that's the reason they are in that situation?

OP posts:
squishee · 08/07/2022 20:02

If you're that curious, just ask her.

GADDay · 08/07/2022 20:05

Maybe she just wanted a new car?

Imissmoominmama · 08/07/2022 20:09

A lot of renters pay more in rent than they would in mortgage. That’s why many younger people find it difficult to save for a deposit.

She’s clearly pleased with her new car, so has announced it- a little like you announced being a homeowner on here…

CharteredBeanCounter · 08/07/2022 20:10

OP you are getting a hard time here.

My job as an accountant has taught me well that outside appearances very rarely tally up to reality. The most well off people often live in a modest house owned outright with a modest car but have significant savings etc, whereas the ones that boast of holidays/flash cars etc often have massive mortgages, massive car loans or lease their cars and have large items on credit.

Obviously not in every case but often outside appearances are just that.

iklboo · 08/07/2022 20:16

I don't know about you other renters but I spend all my money on 70 inch televisions, weekly Cuprinol spray tans, 6 inch nail extensions and holidays with the girls in Shagamuff drinking porn-star martinis and Prosecco. Who wants a boring mortgage anyway?

BetsyBigNose · 08/07/2022 20:19

I think you're totally right about renters not being sensible with money - for example; we rent, and although I have children to clothe and feed, I prefer to spend my money on fairy wishes and sunbeams.

Crazyhousewife · 08/07/2022 20:20

Her partner might be self employed. Many do very well and are stuck renting because they can’t get a mortgage with being self employed. My brother does very well and they have nice holidays, luxury cars, owns his own business but is stuck renting because they are struggling to buy.

LikeAStar1994 · 08/07/2022 21:04

It seems you can't post about nice things you have on social media any more without it being seen as 'boasting'

Only on Mumsnet.

daisychain01 · 08/07/2022 21:09

Well jel?

Juancornetto · 08/07/2022 21:13

Pah! I bought a kg tub of Lurpack yesterday, posted it on Facebook as a proper flex Smile

justfiveminutes · 08/07/2022 21:13

I am not a fan of fb boasting. I don't mind if they've achieved something - a degree or qualification maybe - but just buying a new car is crass. I have a friend who posts trivial things against the backdrop of her steering wheel so we know she's got a BMW. But I think seething with jealousy to the point of speculating about how they achieved it is both playing into their hands and a bit pointless.

Tribb · 08/07/2022 21:15

I have a full time well paid job but don't like boasts, eh? Wink

Bubblebubblebah · 08/07/2022 21:16

Don't have acquaintances you don't like on your SM. It's simple as that. Really good prevention of bitchiness

TheFormidableMrsC · 08/07/2022 22:46

You sound lovely 🙄

Original poster
QuizzicalLady · 08/07/2022 22:50

I'm anonymous on a forum so how can it be a boast? If I'd really wanted to, I could have put my salary and the amount of equity I've earned through being a homeowner??

OP posts:
Original poster
QuizzicalLady · 08/07/2022 22:53

Tribb · 08/07/2022 21:15

I have a full time well paid job but don't like boasts, eh? Wink

I don't put my salary on facebook. 🙄

OP posts:
porkchop834 · 08/07/2022 22:53

QuizzicalLady · 08/07/2022 22:50

I'm anonymous on a forum so how can it be a boast? If I'd really wanted to, I could have put my salary and the amount of equity I've earned through being a homeowner??

What a weird response

Floatyunicorn · 08/07/2022 22:54

Juancornetto · 08/07/2022 21:13

Pah! I bought a kg tub of Lurpack yesterday, posted it on Facebook as a proper flex Smile

😂😂😂

Original poster
QuizzicalLady · 08/07/2022 22:58

porkchop834 · 08/07/2022 22:53

What a weird response

Show quote history

Not really.

OP posts:
AnaïsM · 08/07/2022 23:03

QuizzicalLady · 08/07/2022 22:50

I'm anonymous on a forum so how can it be a boast? If I'd really wanted to, I could have put my salary and the amount of equity I've earned through being a homeowner??

Or you could buy a nice car and put a picture up.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable for someone to be excited about a new car and put up a post about it. I’ve seen excited and happy posts from friends about a new car that’s far from posh or expensive; they just wanted to share something that made them happy.

My husband is “into” cars that are a bit exotic, and he knows that it’d not be nice to post pictures of them when friends may be struggling, but there’s nothing wrong with sharing a “normal” car picture like this.

Popsicle33 · 08/07/2022 23:05

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

FlissyPaps · 08/07/2022 23:07

YABU to compare your life to others.

Social media is completely toxic. For this very reason.

We only post the good stuff online. The stuff we want others to see. Nobody posts their struggles. Their empty bank balances. Their debts. They’re illnesses.

It’s natural to feel a bit of jealousy towards others when they have something we want or would like. But try not let it get to you. Concentrate on what you have. The best things in life - money can’t buy. Health. Family. Memories. A car is just a car.

HelloHeathcliffeItsMe · 08/07/2022 23:12

Who knows. Inheritance, maybe she has a job you don't know about, her partner is doing really well...etc etc. Or it's on tick and she will struggle but has made it a priority. I think you need to look inward and question why you're giving it brain space.

lljkk · 08/07/2022 23:17

I gather that lots of people feel about FBk like OP.

They recommend quitting FBk to solve this.

Personally, I don't want an SUV...
and I don't mind if my friends have nice experiences, or rather experiences they enjoy. In fact, I'm happy for them.

The only FBk posts that annoy me are the attention-seeking-threats or intolerant attitudes.

Glitterblue · 08/07/2022 23:24

I'm feeling very judged for renting! I don't want to feel I'm having to explain myself but we did have a mortgage and through no fault of our own, our circumstances changed and we could no longer afford the ever-increasing mortgage payments.

We never "feel the need to splurge", we're very sensible with money, we have a decent amount of savings. People might look at us and wonder how we can afford 2 cars when we are only renting- including a brand new one - but my grandmother bought me a small car a few years ago, and DH has a company car, the payments for which are less than the loan we had for our last car and all repairs, services and MOTs are covered.

People just need to mind their own business - others have all sorts of reasons for being able to do certain things.