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AIBU?

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Original poster

Prom Dress Disaster

311 replies

Promdisaster · 08/07/2022 09:27

Sorry, this might be long as to not drip feed. Apologies but could really do with some advice.

Ordered a prom dress for my daughter. Paid around one third deposit. Dress arrived in the shop the week before prom date. Went to try on and collect, but dress was too big. Seamstress made some alterations and said it would be done in time, they were working through alterations in order of prom date and to keep an eye out for an email.

Around lunchtime the day before prom, I got a text from the prom shop saying they were delivering the dresses and asking what was the latest time they could deliver that night or from what time the next morning, so I said up to 10.30pm and from 6.30am next morning.

Got a text early the next morning saying the seamstress had collapsed overnight and gone into hospital and they were trying to find another seamstress but not to worry, the dress would be there ASAP.

I told them I needed the dress by 4pm latest as daughter was having friends round to get ready/photos, then being picked up by another mum to go to a pre prom party/photos before leaving at 6pm to go to the prom.

Eventually, after a couple of messages and a phone call, the prom lady turns up with dress at 5pm. She asked my daughter to try the dress on to make sure it fitted. I was more worried that the dress would be too small now that it had been altered, so when she got it on and it wasn't too small I said it was fine and I could tighten it in with the corset . We were so relieved she had a dress. At that moment the other mum turned up to take them to the preprom party so the prom lady left.

The mum at the preprom party messaged and said the dress was too big and she had tried to pin it in but the dress was still gaping round the chest area and too big round the waist. My daughter spent the whole night miserable in a dress that was too big and is sad when she sees all the photos of the girls looking beautiful in their lovely prom dresses. My daughter is not a promzilla is is the sweetest laid back girl.

I have now had a phone message and an email asking for the balance. I really feel that I dont want to pay for a dress that doesn't fit and ruined my daughter's evening. I want to give the dress back so they can resell it.

IABU - yes the dress was worn
IANBU - it wasn't my fault, the dress didn't fit.

OP posts:
scubad · 09/07/2022 19:01

Deposit, fitting, alterations...jesus Christ! Sounds like a bride and a wedding dress.

My prom dress was £80 from a department store. Surely not all proms are like this now? God help us all.

How much you should complain is dependent on how expensive this was in my opinion. I'm getting the impression it was somehow super expensive though and if that's the case then you should complain.

bendmeoverbackwards · 09/07/2022 19:01

Your poor dd! You are NBU at all. They let you down and as they delivered the dress so late you probably convinced yourself it was ok. Prom dresses aren’t cheap, it should have fitted perfectly.

Don’t pay the balance, they have not fulfilled the contract.

bendmeoverbackwards · 09/07/2022 19:03

The moral of this story is to say the event is at least a week before it actually is to allow for any mishaps. My mum did this when my wedding dress was being made. Who wants to have that last minute stress?

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 09/07/2022 19:04

YANBU. We had similar issues with DD's prom dress, thought the dress was not going to arrive, as medical issues (Hmmapparently) made it late.

FWIW I have been pressured to sign for large flat pack stuff still in packaging as being ' arrived in excellent condition' or similar, without the courier wanting to wait, while I actually was able to undo packaging to check. No way! What I actually signed for was with a proviso of "Looks ok, but still in packaging, wasn't allowed opportunity to check properly" or similar. I suspect that men aren't always pressured in the same way.Hmm

Hope you get a reasonable outcome.

woolwinder · 09/07/2022 19:09

"like it’s important? Like it matters? Oh come on! It’s JUST an end of school party! Wtaf have we done to our kids in allowing ourselves to get swept up in a load of American bullshit!" -

Totally this. Totally.

BellePeppa · 09/07/2022 19:12

You said it was fine because you were under pressure. She arrived late and then told you she had somewhere else she had to be, so hardly conducive for you to make a well thought out decision. Hopefully you can both come to an agreeable outcome but the dressmaker should realise that goodwill is very important for her business.

Staffy1 · 09/07/2022 19:27

This is the problem with prom and wedding dresses only being ready at the last possible moment. Why do they do that, it doesn’t give anyone an option to reject it and get something else if it’s not right.
I think you will have a problem not paying for it though as you accepted it and its been worn.

NCTDN · 09/07/2022 19:43

You

NCTDN · 09/07/2022 19:44

Oops! Pressed the wrong thing!!
Your poor daughter. Proms are a huge thing now and they deserve to feel special.

bendmeoverbackwards · 09/07/2022 19:47

woolwinder · 09/07/2022 19:09

"like it’s important? Like it matters? Oh come on! It’s JUST an end of school party! Wtaf have we done to our kids in allowing ourselves to get swept up in a load of American bullshit!" -

Totally this. Totally.

@woolwinder that may be so but that ship has sailed now. You can’t just tell a teenage girl not to worry about her dress as proms are a bought in American culture. What do you expect her to say when all her friends are getting dressed up??

Tomitma111 · 09/07/2022 19:51

Jeez, you are asking people if you should LIE, you disgust me

Happyplace88 · 09/07/2022 19:51

YANBU. They wouldn’t get another penny off me. Your poor daughter. People on here pretending they don’t understand why she was upset 🙄
fucking ridiculous comments just to be argumentative .

JBEM4 · 09/07/2022 19:51

Clarification needed- you said your daughter put the dress on and it wasn't too small so you sent the lady away which suggests you were happy with the alterations....

Did you or your daughter not realise it was gaping? Too big? Too tight?

Had the issues been raised when your daughter initially put the dress on and before you gave the nod then you wouldn't be unreasonable.

Given that the issues became apparent after you accepted the dress after it was tried on and before the lady left you'd be unreasonable to expect a discount or to have the fee waived. Your daughter wore it. Maybe uncomfortably but she wore it because you accepted it.

Lesson learned.

Tomitma111 · 09/07/2022 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

greatblueheron · 09/07/2022 19:56

I hope they agree to take the dress back without issue. The pressure you would have been under as she stood there, already an hour late and trying to get someone else without giving your daughter proper time to try on the dress is obvious.

InFiveMins · 09/07/2022 20:13

No chance would I pay the balance. It didn't fit so wasn't fit for purpose. I'd even offer them to come and see for themselves if they wanted to dispute it!

Johnnysgirl · 09/07/2022 20:14

BellePeppa · 09/07/2022 19:12

You said it was fine because you were under pressure. She arrived late and then told you she had somewhere else she had to be, so hardly conducive for you to make a well thought out decision. Hopefully you can both come to an agreeable outcome but the dressmaker should realise that goodwill is very important for her business.

Op was not "pressured" into saying it was fine. She clearly thought it was.

Mammabear500000 · 09/07/2022 20:16

If it was my shop…. I’d have seen that the dress didn’t fit your daughter properly, felt terribly guilty, let her wear the dress and ask you to give it back and not charge you. She can sell it on.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 09/07/2022 20:17

Sugarplumfairy65 · 08/07/2022 09:47

Insurance for what?

Show quote history

I don’t think there is insurance for running a business in a disorganised and haphazard manner 🤷🏼‍♀️

Hell0daisy · 09/07/2022 20:31

🌸

HaveringWavering · 09/07/2022 20:35

listsandbudgets · 08/07/2022 10:34

OP I really sympathise and I'm sorry your DD felt so self conscious all evening.

DD's prom dress was a bit crumpled so we took it to be professionally steamed... picked it up the day before the prom and they had burnt it right in the middle of the chest! Not possible to wear it - far too obvious. They offered to dry clean it to try to get it out but we'd not have been able to pick up until the day after prom.

Finally went shopping and managed to get something pretty. Not exactly what she had envisaged though. I just gritted my teeth and was grateful I had some savings. I think lady in shop felt sorry for her - sobbing teen on day of prom itself - because she told us it was end of line and applied a huge discount thank goodness. She also produced a very pretty hair clip and threw it in.

Now in massive argument with ironing shop which is likely to end up in small courts claim.. Prom seems to be so important and the dress even more so Grin

Wow, do not let the ironing shop refuse to pay you the cost of the ruined dress. They should be insured for damage anyway.

Mangolist · 09/07/2022 20:36

MzHz · 08/07/2022 09:58

Prom being an event you’re supposed to remember for the rest of your life!?

like it’s important? Like it matters? Oh come on! It’s JUST an end of school party! Wtaf have we done to our kids in allowing ourselves to get swept up in a load of American bullshit!

pre-pre prom party photos, pre-prom party, prom, after prom, hundreds spent on dresses, limos, hair, makeup, tans, nails, shoes….

this is totally out of control and another totally pointless Hallmark industry being created for no reason other than people to take our money.

Totally agree. My poor dd had a shitty time at her 'prom' as she had chosen a very unusual, but very her, dress which wasn't sparkly and glittery, put a tiny bit of make up on herself and didn't have her hair welded to her head. She also had the nerve to walk there, not demand a bloody limo like they all seemed to. The other girls were utterly vile about her and she came home in tears.
It's become something hideous and I hate it.

HaveringWavering · 09/07/2022 21:01

I do believe that the seamstress collapsed. However I suspect that she collapsed through stress and overwork, probably working through the night because the shop had taken on far too many orders and she had no hope of completing them.

It doesn’t matter that OP accepted the dress. At that stage there was no chance of altering it in time if it didn’t fit. And no other dress available to wear. It was entirely reasonable of the DD to wear it. Sorry she felt so uncomfortable- I can still remember getting my hair done (in a French roll!) for our leavers’ prom in 1990. - yep, it was called prom even then- and the hairdresser backcombed it to death and I hated it, felt awful the whole evening.

Hopefully the shop know they messed up and will come up with an offer that goes some way to make amends. After all, if they had so many orders they are probably rolling in cash right now so the loss of the value of one dress, which can be re-sold as worn once, will not make much of a difference to them, and the customer goodwill should go a long way.

MyOwnView · 09/07/2022 21:02

Good grief. I read that some paid £80 for a dress
really. That’s more than some live on for benefits. Surely this American import The Prom is something that should stop. So many I hear just can’t afford to attend.

Mangolist · 09/07/2022 21:06

MyOwnView · 09/07/2022 21:02

Good grief. I read that some paid £80 for a dress
really. That’s more than some live on for benefits. Surely this American import The Prom is something that should stop. So many I hear just can’t afford to attend.

£80? Most of dd's peers paid upwards of £300. Hers was £60 and she got it from a high street shop.