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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Prom Dress Disaster

311 replies

Promdisaster · 08/07/2022 09:27

Sorry, this might be long as to not drip feed. Apologies but could really do with some advice.

Ordered a prom dress for my daughter. Paid around one third deposit. Dress arrived in the shop the week before prom date. Went to try on and collect, but dress was too big. Seamstress made some alterations and said it would be done in time, they were working through alterations in order of prom date and to keep an eye out for an email.

Around lunchtime the day before prom, I got a text from the prom shop saying they were delivering the dresses and asking what was the latest time they could deliver that night or from what time the next morning, so I said up to 10.30pm and from 6.30am next morning.

Got a text early the next morning saying the seamstress had collapsed overnight and gone into hospital and they were trying to find another seamstress but not to worry, the dress would be there ASAP.

I told them I needed the dress by 4pm latest as daughter was having friends round to get ready/photos, then being picked up by another mum to go to a pre prom party/photos before leaving at 6pm to go to the prom.

Eventually, after a couple of messages and a phone call, the prom lady turns up with dress at 5pm. She asked my daughter to try the dress on to make sure it fitted. I was more worried that the dress would be too small now that it had been altered, so when she got it on and it wasn't too small I said it was fine and I could tighten it in with the corset . We were so relieved she had a dress. At that moment the other mum turned up to take them to the preprom party so the prom lady left.

The mum at the preprom party messaged and said the dress was too big and she had tried to pin it in but the dress was still gaping round the chest area and too big round the waist. My daughter spent the whole night miserable in a dress that was too big and is sad when she sees all the photos of the girls looking beautiful in their lovely prom dresses. My daughter is not a promzilla is is the sweetest laid back girl.

I have now had a phone message and an email asking for the balance. I really feel that I dont want to pay for a dress that doesn't fit and ruined my daughter's evening. I want to give the dress back so they can resell it.

IABU - yes the dress was worn
IANBU - it wasn't my fault, the dress didn't fit.

OP posts:
Lifeisforlovingandliving · 08/07/2022 16:28

sunglassesonthetable · 08/07/2022 13:51

am sure your daughter will survive…. I hope the seamstress who ended up on hospital is ok

if you believe that story.

Of course OP's DD will survive. But that is hardly the point.

Yes I do as I have a tendency not to think people are liars but your comment say more about how your mind works to be honest. I will stick to my attitude and leave you to yours.

LIZS · 08/07/2022 16:36

Meraas · 08/07/2022 16:14

Thank God you haven’t paid the balance!

I would take pics/video of dd in dress showing how big it is. Hopefully you won’t need them and the email will suffice.

I think you should also have said you needed the dress a few days before you actually did.

Agree, sending a pic showing just how big it was across the back after alleged alterations would be useful. Was the one which arrived even the correct size if there was so much to take in? Presumably she had tried on something similar originally before ordering in chosen size/colour.

Original poster
Promdisaster · 08/07/2022 16:37

@Meraas
They ask for the school, so they know exactly when each school's prom is.

OP posts:
Original poster
Promdisaster · 08/07/2022 16:40

Right, I have emailed the prom shop using the email suggestions posted earlier. Will update when I get a reply.

OP posts:
sunglassesonthetable · 08/07/2022 17:23

Yes I do as I have a tendency not to think people are liars but your comment say more about how your mind works to be honest. I will stick to my attitude and leave you to yours.

Excellent.

Full of heart for OP's daughter though ...

Think there are lots of give aways in the sorry tale as to why I suspect the "seamstress collapsed" story.

balalake · 08/07/2022 17:50

@dianthus101 single or low use clothing a contributor towards climate change, expense many cannot easily afford, a heteronormative event in most cases.

BathshebaKnickerStickers · 08/07/2022 18:27

Could you have laced the corset up properly and tightly enough if it had been delivered half an hour earlier or if people hadn’t started arriving for the pre-event..?

if your daughter has put on so much weight recently it’s pretty unlikely even in the most beautiful fitted dress that she would ever have felt comfortable - speaking as n overweight person I would never ever feel comfortable

Original poster
Promdisaster · 08/07/2022 18:34

@BathshebaKnickerStickers
The corset was supposed to have a 3-4" gap between the sides but it actually touched when pulled with space to spare. The idea of the corset was in case DD put on more weight (she didn't) and also to 'pull her in'. Corsets are supposed to be tight and this was baggy. I was still pulling in the corset after the prom lady left and if she had arrived earlier she would have seen it all pulled in. The other mum also had a go with the corset and tried to pin it but the dress was clearly too big and not altered to agreed size.

OP posts:
dianthus101 · 08/07/2022 18:34

balalake · 08/07/2022 17:50

@dianthus101 single or low use clothing a contributor towards climate change, expense many cannot easily afford, a heteronormative event in most cases.

Why have you directed that comment at me? Where have I suggested people buy “single or low use clothing”?

Arnaquer · 08/07/2022 18:39

I think I the fact you tried it on and accepted it would negate any claim sorry. You shouldn't have allowed her to rush you and made sure to try it on properly.
Not sure what could have been done if it was too big, but the dressmaker could have advised you.
Sounds like they over stretched themselves with orders.

toomuchlaundry · 08/07/2022 18:41

Had they altered it at all?

Rosehugger · 08/07/2022 18:44

I think I the fact you tried it on and accepted it would negate any claim sorry

No it wouldn't.RTFT.

Lifeisforlovingandliving · 08/07/2022 18:48

sunglassesonthetable · 08/07/2022 17:23

Yes I do as I have a tendency not to think people are liars but your comment say more about how your mind works to be honest. I will stick to my attitude and leave you to yours.

Excellent.

Full of heart for OP's daughter though ...

Think there are lots of give aways in the sorry tale as to why I suspect the "seamstress collapsed" story.

In your opinion, happy with my concerns about someone who has been hospitalised, I will leave you to your outlook that everyone is a liar!

sunglassesonthetable · 08/07/2022 18:56

In your opinion, happy with my concerns about someone who has been hospitalised, I will leave you to your outlook that everyone is a liar!

hmmm, 🤷‍♀️

frozenblueberry · 08/07/2022 18:58

If it was still that big once they delivered it are you sure they even altered it at all? Have you actually checked the dress maybe they were snowed under and left her dress till last and ran out of time!

bcc89 · 08/07/2022 20:02

I feel like unfortunately you have to pay them. You accepted the dress and the dress has now also been worn out.

I completely understand why you're unhappy though and I know you had limited time.

I would make sure to leave an honest review of the service so it doesn't happen to someone else.

Arnaquer · 09/07/2022 10:28

Rosehugger · 08/07/2022 18:44

I think I the fact you tried it on and accepted it would negate any claim sorry

No it wouldn't.RTFT.

I have RTFT and am offering my opinion. That's what Mumsnet is about 🙄

Mfsf · 09/07/2022 17:54

Tell them you will return it as it was not fir and nit what was promised . Do not tell them she used it . Return it and if they refuse so a change back .

Jo586 · 09/07/2022 18:05

The whole concept of proms makes my toes curl, having said that, nothing to lose by taking some photos and saying despite their efforts the dress wasn't suitable,

Insanelysilver · 09/07/2022 18:20

The prom lady should have ensured the corset was fully done up. That is the only way to tell if it fitted properly.
i appreciate the dress maker fell ill but I certainly think a big discount is in order given they left it until the afternoon of the prom to deliver. Even if you’d realised the dress didn’t fit they hadn’t left themselves any time to sort it out.

Pbbananabagel · 09/07/2022 18:39

Tbh it sounds like it hasn’t been altered at all and they were winging it.

Blueink · 09/07/2022 18:40

If it’s the alterations you are refusing to pay for, I agree, as it wasn’t altered to fit her and they also arrived 1 hour past the latest deadline, not allowing enough time for the dress to be done up fully to check the fit. In this situation they should alter the dress again to fit her. I’m sorry it affected her Prom and of course she may not want to wear the dress again, but do think you should pay an outstanding balance on the dress itself.

Itislate · 09/07/2022 18:53

Do you know absolutely nothing about teenagers?

Blackberrybunnet · 09/07/2022 18:55

You said it was fine. You therefore accepted it as it was.

Itislate · 09/07/2022 19:01

Promdisaster · 08/07/2022 09:27

Sorry, this might be long as to not drip feed. Apologies but could really do with some advice.

Ordered a prom dress for my daughter. Paid around one third deposit. Dress arrived in the shop the week before prom date. Went to try on and collect, but dress was too big. Seamstress made some alterations and said it would be done in time, they were working through alterations in order of prom date and to keep an eye out for an email.

Around lunchtime the day before prom, I got a text from the prom shop saying they were delivering the dresses and asking what was the latest time they could deliver that night or from what time the next morning, so I said up to 10.30pm and from 6.30am next morning.

Got a text early the next morning saying the seamstress had collapsed overnight and gone into hospital and they were trying to find another seamstress but not to worry, the dress would be there ASAP.

I told them I needed the dress by 4pm latest as daughter was having friends round to get ready/photos, then being picked up by another mum to go to a pre prom party/photos before leaving at 6pm to go to the prom.

Eventually, after a couple of messages and a phone call, the prom lady turns up with dress at 5pm. She asked my daughter to try the dress on to make sure it fitted. I was more worried that the dress would be too small now that it had been altered, so when she got it on and it wasn't too small I said it was fine and I could tighten it in with the corset . We were so relieved she had a dress. At that moment the other mum turned up to take them to the preprom party so the prom lady left.

The mum at the preprom party messaged and said the dress was too big and she had tried to pin it in but the dress was still gaping round the chest area and too big round the waist. My daughter spent the whole night miserable in a dress that was too big and is sad when she sees all the photos of the girls looking beautiful in their lovely prom dresses. My daughter is not a promzilla is is the sweetest laid back girl.

I have now had a phone message and an email asking for the balance. I really feel that I dont want to pay for a dress that doesn't fit and ruined my daughter's evening. I want to give the dress back so they can resell it.

IABU - yes the dress was worn
IANBU - it wasn't my fault, the dress didn't fit.

The dress is not right so give it back to the shop and tell them your not paying as you have returned the dress.