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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Prom Dress Disaster

311 replies

Promdisaster · 08/07/2022 09:27

Sorry, this might be long as to not drip feed. Apologies but could really do with some advice.

Ordered a prom dress for my daughter. Paid around one third deposit. Dress arrived in the shop the week before prom date. Went to try on and collect, but dress was too big. Seamstress made some alterations and said it would be done in time, they were working through alterations in order of prom date and to keep an eye out for an email.

Around lunchtime the day before prom, I got a text from the prom shop saying they were delivering the dresses and asking what was the latest time they could deliver that night or from what time the next morning, so I said up to 10.30pm and from 6.30am next morning.

Got a text early the next morning saying the seamstress had collapsed overnight and gone into hospital and they were trying to find another seamstress but not to worry, the dress would be there ASAP.

I told them I needed the dress by 4pm latest as daughter was having friends round to get ready/photos, then being picked up by another mum to go to a pre prom party/photos before leaving at 6pm to go to the prom.

Eventually, after a couple of messages and a phone call, the prom lady turns up with dress at 5pm. She asked my daughter to try the dress on to make sure it fitted. I was more worried that the dress would be too small now that it had been altered, so when she got it on and it wasn't too small I said it was fine and I could tighten it in with the corset . We were so relieved she had a dress. At that moment the other mum turned up to take them to the preprom party so the prom lady left.

The mum at the preprom party messaged and said the dress was too big and she had tried to pin it in but the dress was still gaping round the chest area and too big round the waist. My daughter spent the whole night miserable in a dress that was too big and is sad when she sees all the photos of the girls looking beautiful in their lovely prom dresses. My daughter is not a promzilla is is the sweetest laid back girl.

I have now had a phone message and an email asking for the balance. I really feel that I dont want to pay for a dress that doesn't fit and ruined my daughter's evening. I want to give the dress back so they can resell it.

IABU - yes the dress was worn
IANBU - it wasn't my fault, the dress didn't fit.

OP posts:
Johnnysgirl · 10/07/2022 09:08

I would have made her wait till the dress was tried on properly but that wouldn't have made any difference as there was no one there to alter it anyway
Well, it would have made a difference in the sense that you could have argued it's not what you ordered and claim a refund, even if you insisted that the dress be worn anyway since there was no time to source anything else within the time frame.
Op has snookered herself, not by taking the dress, but by declaring it fine.

ECN73 · 10/07/2022 09:13

I think you will struggle to get any money back. It seems crazy to me to accept a dress for an important event on the hour…as soon as they said it would be on the day you should have asked for the deposit back and bought another dress elsewhere. They delivered it late, you accepted it, end of. They knew you had no choice anyway, delivering it right before her prom. They are awful and run a crap business but you let them. Expensive lesson to learn.

Rosehugger · 10/07/2022 09:51

I think you will struggle to get any money back.

They haven't paid in full for the dress. I think the seamstress will struggle to get paid for the rest. I'd happily see her in court if it came to that.

Blondeshavemorefun · 10/07/2022 09:58

Promdisaster · 08/07/2022 10:44

@StoppinBy
It wasn't the seamstress that delivered but the prom shop owner or assistant. My point is that I didn't have time to do up the corset properly in front of her as there were people turning up at the door and she was saying how late she was with delivering another dress. If she had arrived earlier as asked and promised there would have been time for my DD to try her dress on properly.

My reply would have been , you will have to be late for next customer as an hour late for me

and for her to come in and fitted the dress to your daughter

tbh leaving it to the day before was cutting it fine

you should have contacted them a good week before the prom to enquire /Insist dress was done

how much did you pay for the dress @Promdisaster

corset style dresses are usually good as can pull and tighten tho they are hard to do up correctly

and again person dropping off the dress should have made sure it fitted

very convienant the dress maker was suddenly ill

LookItsMeAgain · 11/07/2022 14:56

Just wondering if you've heard back from the shop @Promdisaster ?

Forestgate · 11/07/2022 15:04

Promdisaster · 08/07/2022 16:40

Right, I have emailed the prom shop using the email suggestions posted earlier. Will update when I get a reply.

@Promdisaster any updates?

Original poster
Promdisaster · 11/07/2022 15:56

I emailed the prom shop as per pp suggestion on Friday afternoon and have not heard back from them yet 😒. I'll update when I get a reply.

OP posts:
JaffaCake70 · 11/07/2022 18:49

midairchallenger · 08/07/2022 09:38

I don't understand why she was "miserable" because of a slightly too big dress.

It was gaping around her chest area, not just slightly too big. I'm 51 yrs old and if something was gaping around my chest area I too would feel self conscious.

Zonder · 12/07/2022 07:01

Do they use social medi? I would consider posting something on there to say you're waiting for a reply.

Suburbitonian · 12/07/2022 15:04

WimbyAce · 08/07/2022 09:54

Nothing useful to say just dreading all this prom stuff when my kids are older. When did it become a thing?

@WimbyAce another thing imported from USA. Luckily Halloween isn't sticking as much as retailers might like.

In my day 👴! (2005) I bought a dinner suit from eBay for £30. It paid for itself several times over as I didn't need to spend on suit hire for 6th form leavers ball and on many similar university functions. Freshers ball, sports club dinner, Christmas ball, summer ball... etc.

Blokes have it easy, yes. That said, I worry too much is promised or implied. Hiring a limo, suit, dress, !preprom party!😕😟, inviting your date, who to invite.

I will be suggesting to my girls to not take it too seriously. I'm sure they will have a nice dress and have a great time bidding farewell to their schoolfriends before they disperse to universities across the country.

Dixiechickonhols · 13/07/2022 11:59

I was glad they had a normal prom this year. They have had a rubbish 2 years and their exams were drawn out and extra stressful due to advance notice Issues.
No one has to spend a lot. DD’s friends had mix of prom shop bought, high street, online and one sewed her own. A charity shop locally offers girls dresses for free.
Some had makeup/tan/hair/nails some did own. Some girls wore suits.
No limos or fancy cars.
Cost £25 for sit down meal and disco at a local hotel and she went to a house party after.
In my day we had a church service and that was it. Was rubbish.
She’s got some lovely photos and memories with her friends.
Hope the shop respond but suspect they may not and may just not chase you got payment.

HaveringWavering · 13/07/2022 12:02

Suburbitonian · 12/07/2022 15:04

@WimbyAce another thing imported from USA. Luckily Halloween isn't sticking as much as retailers might like.

In my day 👴! (2005) I bought a dinner suit from eBay for £30. It paid for itself several times over as I didn't need to spend on suit hire for 6th form leavers ball and on many similar university functions. Freshers ball, sports club dinner, Christmas ball, summer ball... etc.

Blokes have it easy, yes. That said, I worry too much is promised or implied. Hiring a limo, suit, dress, !preprom party!😕😟, inviting your date, who to invite.

I will be suggesting to my girls to not take it too seriously. I'm sure they will have a nice dress and have a great time bidding farewell to their schoolfriends before they disperse to universities across the country.

Show quote history

Halloween is not an American import. The Scot’s and Irish took it to the States. It has always been big in Scotland and Ireland.

LookItsMeAgain · 13/07/2022 13:24

@WimbyAce - Hallowe'en is the anglicised version of Samhain which in Irish is the month of November. The last day of October is the eve (e'en) of November so Hallowe'en.

www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/topics/z9s78hv/articles/zr4hhbk

Hallowe'enIt's very much a Celtic (with a hard C not a soft one like the Scottish football club) tradition that migrated to the US and I'd say that Hallmark took it as a suitable holiday/tradition to market and boy have they done a good job of it.

LookItsMeAgain · 13/07/2022 13:25

LookItsMeAgain · 13/07/2022 13:24

@WimbyAce - Hallowe'en is the anglicised version of Samhain which in Irish is the month of November. The last day of October is the eve (e'en) of November so Hallowe'en.

www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/topics/z9s78hv/articles/zr4hhbk

Hallowe'enIt's very much a Celtic (with a hard C not a soft one like the Scottish football club) tradition that migrated to the US and I'd say that Hallmark took it as a suitable holiday/tradition to market and boy have they done a good job of it.

My mistake. I tagged @WimbyAce in the above post when it should have been @Suburbitonian .

Apologies.

NCTDN · 13/07/2022 21:18

Op have you heard anything?

NannaKaren · 14/07/2022 07:20

Poor girl x but It wasn’t right and shouldn’t have been accepted but what would DD have worn ☹️

Headinthecloudsfeetinthemud · 16/07/2022 17:37

You said it yourself - you were given the opportunity to try on the dress and you said it was fine. Use this as a learning opportunity.

Spottingtwerps · 16/07/2022 21:43

@Headinthecloudsfeetinthemud had the opportunity? The dress shop assistant arrived an hour late. It wasn't even the seamstress, it was someone else so no alternations could have been done. They were rushing and due to leave. The woman from the dress shop put them under pressure and didn't give a fair amount of time for the dress to be tried on. She simply delivered it and that was all. By this time OPs daughter has no options but wear an ill fitting dress, go in jeans or whatever or not go at all!! Hobnobs choice indeed!

Where was the "opporrunity"?!

Plus totally patronising "use this as a learning opportunity". Wow.

Mirw · 16/07/2022 22:22

You accepted the dress. You sent your daughter out in it. Your fault. You apologise to your daughter and put it behind you. Maybe the lesson to be learned is that you buy a dress that fits and if it doesn't you make sure you are getting it back 2 days before so you have time to get something off the peg as a backup. Then you reject original dress as not kept to contract. But please get over it!

sunglassesonthetable · 16/07/2022 22:32

You accepted the dress. You sent your daughter out in it. Your fault. You apologise to your daughter and put it behind you. Maybe the lesson to be learned is that you buy a dress that fits and if it doesn't you make sure you are getting it back 2 days before so you have time to get something off the peg as a backup. Then you reject original dress as not kept to contract. But please get over it!

Well you didn't don't read the thread did you!😁

Don't know your consumer rights either.

Headinthecloudsfeetinthemud · 16/07/2022 23:20

Eventually, after a couple of messages and a phone call, the prom lady turns up with dress at 5pm. She asked my daughter to try the dress on to make sure it fitted. I was more worried that the dress would be too small now that it had been altered, so when she got it on and it wasn't too small I said it was fine and I could tighten it in with the corset . We were so relieved she had a dress. At that moment the other mum turned up to take them to the preprom party so the prom lady left.

This is the original post. The dress was an hour later than deadline, however the daughter was asked to try it on (therefore, she was given the opportunity) and the mother confirmed it was “fine”. Please, do explain how I’ve got it wrong.

sunglassesonthetable · 16/07/2022 23:28

This is the original post. The dress was an hour later than deadline, however the daughter was asked to try it on (therefore, she was given the opportunity) and the mother confirmed it was “fine”. Please, do explain how I’ve got it wrong.

Have you RTFT? You don't sound like you have.

Spottingtwerps · 17/07/2022 06:53

@sunglassesonthetable so when the shop promised it.would he ready at a certain day and time and it wasn't. Its somehow OPs fault because she should make sure its ready 2 days before? How can a customer control when a business fulfills the job? How about a business doesn't promise what it can't deliver, makes good any errors, is truthful and realistic about timescales and actually gives good service?

There was also a specific reason the dress needed to be altered and not done 3 months before. I suggest you read a the posts and thread to discover this, as many of us have done before commenting to avoid looking stupid.

So do tell us all as you are clearly superior to the rest of us, what would you have done one hour before the prom, when the transport arrives and you've not had sufficient time to try on the dress and your daughter is stood there all excited to go to her prom? What would you say to your daughter and what exactly would you do?

sunglassesonthetable · 17/07/2022 08:56

So do tell us all as you are clearly superior to the rest of us, what would you have done one hour before the prom, when the transport arrives and you've not had sufficient time to try on the dress and your daughter is stood there all excited to go to her prom? What would you say to your daughter and what exactly would you do?

But agree with you ! I've commented all through this thread😃

Spottingtwerps · 17/07/2022 10:05

@sunglassesonthetable totally tagged the wrong person!! Sorry!