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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being oversensitive to my cat?

126 replies

Lagertha6 · 07/07/2022 23:54

I have a cat who is 12 months and very much my baby. Not so much a lap cat but follows me everywhere, stares at my DP when he's sat in "her" seat on the couch and shouts at us when we come home from being out.

She's cost me a fortune in vet bills and now has to get three teeth out next week stemming from complications of caliche virus that she has. I have to bathe her eyes daily because of this and the breed that she is. So I worry about her alot.

Tonight my DP bought a lazer toy and was playing with her. When he switched it off she kept running round look for it and was on high alert for ages. I binned the last one because she would sit staring at the fridge for hours, no exaggeration. I couldn't bear to see her like that.

We've tried putting treats where the laser lies but she ignores it or can't see it. She can be bit of a dope at times.

Anyway I started crying because she was so wound up. My DP doesn't get it, thinks she is enjoying it. But I disagree.

Everyone says she's just a cat and think I go overboard with her. We don't have children so to me she is my baby.

Am I too obsessed with my cat? Should I bin the lazer again? Got it today. I said to DP only to use it as a distraction so she wouldn't stop crying at him to take her out on the lead (she doss bug him when he's in her seat.)

Sorry I know I sound like a weirdo.

OP posts:
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007DoubleOSeven · 07/07/2022 23:56

Some cats get a bit too obsessed with lasers, if you think it's overstimulating her then yanbu to stop using it.

knackeredagain · 08/07/2022 00:01

Why does she go out on a lead? Is she a frustrated indoor cat? I know some breeds are a bit too dopey to go out alone, but once they’ve had a taste of the outdoors they tend to want more. Is that what she is wanting?

knackeredagain · 08/07/2022 00:01

If she’s bored, try cat TV on YouTube

RicherThanYew · 08/07/2022 00:03

You sound wonderfully bonkers.

ashitghost · 08/07/2022 00:05

You sound like a really lovely and responsible cat owner. I think a lot of people don’t get that cat owners love their cats just as much as dog owners do their dogs.

I would bin the laser and get your partner to choose another seat.

Original poster
Lagertha6 · 08/07/2022 00:07

I am to be honest that's why we fit. She throws herself on the floor having tantrums when we don't do what she wants.

I also have to clean her bum most times when she goes the loo as she is incapable of doing it herself and I have cat no2 over my house.

She sleeps on my DPs side of the bed when he's at work an he won't wake her up to get in it so he goes in spare room. I do think this is sweet of him.

But that lazer.....also I bought her a paddling pool.

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Original poster
Lagertha6 · 08/07/2022 00:11

She's an indoor cat. Very timid too. She runs into the house when a motorbike passes our house in the front even though we are in our backgarden.

She wants to go out as she likes swatting bugs. That's the only reason. She gets frustrated when she can't go out but can see them.

We take her as often as we can but we have 2 work and eat. She's just being stroppy. But to stop her meowing at my DP when he's on the couch we bought the lazer as a distraction. We felt she might have changed from last time but nope still the same with it.

OP posts:
watcherintherye · 08/07/2022 00:12

I understand you, op.I once read that lasers aren’t always good for a cat’s mental health because they get the stimulation of the chase, but never the satisfaction of the ‘kill’. My cat loves chasing the laser when he’s in the mood, so when I switch it off, I always get him to chase after his straw on a string and let him catch it, to preserve his mental well-being!

Original poster
Lagertha6 · 08/07/2022 00:12

I agree but should I bin it again?

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Original poster
Lagertha6 · 08/07/2022 00:13

Oh fab thanks very much. I'd been trying to find that but not sure where it was. I'm bit naff at googling.

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thenewduchessoflapland · 08/07/2022 00:16

Lagertha6 · 08/07/2022 00:07

I am to be honest that's why we fit. She throws herself on the floor having tantrums when we don't do what she wants.

I also have to clean her bum most times when she goes the loo as she is incapable of doing it herself and I have cat no2 over my house.

She sleeps on my DPs side of the bed when he's at work an he won't wake her up to get in it so he goes in spare room. I do think this is sweet of him.

But that lazer.....also I bought her a paddling pool.

My cat turns one next week;she is very much the household's baby;everyone is obsessed with her;she has her amazing funny little ways.She's very "chatty" and communicates through a series of chirps and screams when she's being sassy.When she wants feeding she'll go into the cupboard and pick up a sachet of cat food in her mouth and bring it to you.She's very snuggly and has her favourite places to sit and sleep.Her tail quivers when she's excited and she'll only go outside into the garden if someone is with her.

We're going on holiday soon as a whole household and it'll be the first time she'll left without a household member to care for her (have organised a cat sitter) but I'm dreading leaving her with someone she doesn't know very well.I'd quite honestly take her on holiday with us if I could.

Original poster
Lagertha6 · 08/07/2022 00:17

Aw thank you.

We only have the one couch though (first time buyers so essentially poor) an I think he would draw a line at sitting on the floor considering she nabs his bed about 4 nights a week. HA!

I will bin it again. Just can't do it to her. I even pretended to catch the light an showed her that I'd binned it and she didn't get it (not surprising as she's a cat) and I've tried explaining it to her.

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Penguintears · 08/07/2022 00:18

I would bin the laser and get her some different toys. Or even just a big cardboard box and screw up kitchen foil into a ball. Rotate the toys so she doesn't get bored.

Original poster
Lagertha6 · 08/07/2022 00:20

I think that's what I was looking at when with the first lazer as I was concerned about her staring at the fridge for hours. I think we had it for about 5 days with even putting treats and pointing the lazer to it. So I binned it because of those articles.

This time was talked into buying a new lazer to try again few months later an same behaviour. I'm not keeping it. DP can bug off.

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BiBoop · 08/07/2022 00:22

Highly strung owners equal highly strung pets. you do sound a bit highly strung.
Just chill out a bit.
My cats are my world. But they do tune into whatever youre giving off ... and can be very manipulative. Chill... it will help.

perimenofertility · 08/07/2022 00:22

Lasers are crap toys for animals. It's just winds them up because no matter how much they chase they can never catch it because there's nothing there. You'll just end up with a confused anxious cat. Bin it and get some proper cat toys.

LadyVictoriaSponge · 08/07/2022 00:23

Yep bin the laser they really are not good as said by watcherintherye. You sound like a lovely cat owner, I’m exactly the same with my dog, I am at her beck and call, I love her so much I do anything I can to make her happy, particularly now she is old and very poorly.

Original poster
Lagertha6 · 08/07/2022 00:24

You sound exactly like me. We go in Jan for 5 nights first time away. Dreading it.

Also my cat sounds exactly like yours. Not BSH by any chance? Ha.

My DP dotes on her but leaves everything practical up to me. He kisses her when he goes to work but forgets me.

Where are you going? Anywhere nice? Are you in NW because I've found good place for cat stays. DM me if needed. People travel country for this one an it's not expensive either.

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watcherintherye · 08/07/2022 00:25

I don’t necessarily think you need to bin the laser. It’s good exercise for the cat to chase it. Just don’t use it for too long, and make sure you also have actual things (string etc.) she can chase and catch afterwards.

kittenkipping · 08/07/2022 00:25

Have you got a normal feather wand type toy? That's what the laser is pretending to be. Indoor cats NEED stimulation in a way outdoor cats don't. Cats NEED to hunt. It's a primal and necessary need. Part of responsible indoor cat ownership is committing to play. They need it. We have to commit to really playing with them and engaging them in the hunt. IMO the laser offers a part of that, but not all. It's entirely inadequate alone.

Original poster
Lagertha6 · 08/07/2022 00:26

We have we've got all of that. Atm the she's obsessed with piece a of wire type thing that's from delivery box. Can't injest or injure herself with it.

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Original poster
Lagertha6 · 08/07/2022 00:27

Couldn't agree more. I am VERY highly strung. I do need to chill out like. Xx

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Original poster
Lagertha6 · 08/07/2022 00:29

Aw hope your dog has many more years to come.

Thank you for your kind words xxx

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Original poster
Lagertha6 · 08/07/2022 00:30

Thank you x

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quietnightmare · 08/07/2022 00:31

Can we get a picture of the troublemaker please