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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Being oversensitive to my cat?

126 replies

Lagertha6 · 07/07/2022 23:54

I have a cat who is 12 months and very much my baby. Not so much a lap cat but follows me everywhere, stares at my DP when he's sat in "her" seat on the couch and shouts at us when we come home from being out.

She's cost me a fortune in vet bills and now has to get three teeth out next week stemming from complications of caliche virus that she has. I have to bathe her eyes daily because of this and the breed that she is. So I worry about her alot.

Tonight my DP bought a lazer toy and was playing with her. When he switched it off she kept running round look for it and was on high alert for ages. I binned the last one because she would sit staring at the fridge for hours, no exaggeration. I couldn't bear to see her like that.

We've tried putting treats where the laser lies but she ignores it or can't see it. She can be bit of a dope at times.

Anyway I started crying because she was so wound up. My DP doesn't get it, thinks she is enjoying it. But I disagree.

Everyone says she's just a cat and think I go overboard with her. We don't have children so to me she is my baby.

Am I too obsessed with my cat? Should I bin the lazer again? Got it today. I said to DP only to use it as a distraction so she wouldn't stop crying at him to take her out on the lead (she doss bug him when he's in her seat.)

Sorry I know I sound like a weirdo.

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kittenkipping · 08/07/2022 00:31

So why is your dp wanting the laser? Because she responds most to it? Because she's frustrated and unfulfilled? That's normal- they are hunters and failing fucking hurts. Cats win. Always. At life love and other. Never has a cat suffered imposter syndrome. Every cat KNOWS that it's the CAT. The OC. The best cat. The most cat a cat has ever catted. The lease is a tool in play and not the norm. The best is a feather wand. They can chase play kill and catch.

Lagertha6 · 08/07/2022 00:32

Thanks for this. I do have Feather wands but she prefers a wire at the moment and little bells left over from Xmas wrapping.

She's got loads of toys like. How often do you play with yours? Can you give me any ideas pl? I've tried putting dreamies in little box but she loses interest xx

OP posts:
Lagertha6 · 08/07/2022 00:33

Course how do I do it? X

OP posts:
kittenkipping · 08/07/2022 00:40

Indoor cats need play - 2/3 times a day for 5/10 minutes a time. The wands - you need to commit to play. You need to emulate live prey. They catch, you play dead, the feather twitches, then flys and goes again. You can't play on your phone whilst doing it. You need to run and engage. Or at least- that's my experience. Indoor cats need extra. You are denying them wild.

Lagertha6 · 08/07/2022 00:41

This is her.

Being oversensitive to my cat?
Being oversensitive to my cat?
Being oversensitive to my cat?
Being oversensitive to my cat?
OP posts:
Lagertha6 · 08/07/2022 00:42

Thanks v much for your advice appreciated.

OP posts:
IJoinedJustForThisThread · 08/07/2022 00:43

@thenewduchessoflapland
When she wants feeding she'll go into the cupboard and pick up a sachet of cat food in her mouth and bring it to you.

That is just adorable……and I’m not even a cat lover.

knackeredagain · 08/07/2022 00:45

BSH you say? Now I’m not saying mine is pampered but he has his own place at the Sunday dinner table (roast chicken and gravy) and loves nothing more than to sit in his teepee with his iPad watching birds and mice or playing a cat fishing game.
He also loves the tops off beer bottles because they scoot round the wooden floors like ice hockey pucks.
Good luck OP, she’s gorgeous.

KrisAkabusi · 08/07/2022 00:45

Not helpful in any way, but I can't get over you wiping your cat's arse!

quietnightmare · 08/07/2022 00:48

Lagertha6 · 08/07/2022 00:41

This is her.

How cute. Your an amazing cat mum and I can see why

Catsaremad · 08/07/2022 00:50

My cat has to sit on my DHs chair. But she wont sit on it until he has sat on it, so she can 'steal' it from him.

So she hovers anxiously by the chairs in the evening until he has chosen the one he wants, sat down and she steals it from him.

We have two chairs and sometimes she wants a specific one, but she wont sit in it if he doesn't. Instead she has to move him off the chair she doesn't want onto the chair she does want. Then move him off the chair she does want so she finally gets it. Its flipping musical chairs with meows. Cute though.

LadyVictoriaSponge · 08/07/2022 00:54

knackeredagain · 08/07/2022 00:45

BSH you say? Now I’m not saying mine is pampered but he has his own place at the Sunday dinner table (roast chicken and gravy) and loves nothing more than to sit in his teepee with his iPad watching birds and mice or playing a cat fishing game.
He also loves the tops off beer bottles because they scoot round the wooden floors like ice hockey pucks.
Good luck OP, she’s gorgeous.

We need a picture of your cat in the tepee watching the iPad!! Fabulous!

OP your cat is adorable no wonder you are smitten.

JustJoinedRightNow · 08/07/2022 00:54

OP I think you’re an amazing cat mum and you sound like me! She’s lovely, good on you for caring about her so much!

knackeredagain · 08/07/2022 01:00

I don’t have a pic of him on his iPad but here’s our Christmas dinner table. Yes, he has his own cracker. And here’s what happens when I try to work…

Being oversensitive to my cat?
Being oversensitive to my cat?
Norachance · 08/07/2022 01:02

We have three cats plus one bsh! Honestly she is a real diva. She sits exactly where she wants to sit and will bop the other cats out of the way. She bats things off the table just because she can. Her favourite game is a track with a light up ball.
Op was yours taken too early from her mum is that why she doesn't clean herself?

Selttan · 08/07/2022 02:30

I'm a helicopter cat mum. I get it!

My neighbours thought I had toddlers based on what they could hear me saying to my girls - no running, gentle, be nice to your sister etc

My girls don't really play with typical cat toys. They love a ribbon tied to a stick which we run around the place and chase, cardboard they adore cardboard. Bits of it is everywhere in my house.

The current favourite toy is a cloth shopping bag. One of my girls loves to run and land on it then slide across the floorboards.

Thepossibility · 08/07/2022 03:09

This thread is so wholesome and cute.

WiddlinDiddlin · 08/07/2022 03:38

YANBU, nor are you being over sensitive.

Actually, what you're being is observant, thoughtful and intelligent over your cats behaviour - I wish everyone was (though, well then I wouldn't have a job.. ho hum).

She gets wound up and frustrated by the target she can never actually cat - she needs to fulfill a behaviour sequence, roughly eye > stalk > chase > pounce > grab > kill/play > kill > consume.

The last couple of bits are not always necessary, some satisfaction can be had without the kill/play onward if the cat isn't hungry for example..

But the ability to GRAB a physical object IS important, without that, she has missed. She's failed in the sequence hard wired into her brain to complete. A few failures would be normal, she'd sharpen her reflexes, be more aware of her surroundings, be more ready to pounce etc...

But repeated failures are heightening her responses with no improvement in results because she can NEVER grab the prey. Ever.

That ... in laymans terms - fucks with your brain. Badly.

If there are any genetic tendancies any neurological predisposition to compulsive behaviours (we don't call them obsessive in animals because animals can't tell us if they obsess about them or not.. but it looks the same!), which look like them leaping at reflections, shadows, odd movement, sometimes to things that just aren't there like floaters in their eyes..

It can, again if there is something NQR already, trigger epilepsy (this is more common in dogs though, NEVER use laser pointers with dogs).

So yes, I wish the fucking things weren't sold, they drive many animals absolutely fucking crazy, there are MUCH better ways to enrich a pets life and provide mental stimulation.

Bin the laser pointer (or stick it up someones backside if they keep buying them, up to you).

Provide things on strings, fishing type games, roll balls, try different textures so real fur (you can get plenty of rabbit fur stuff, also sheepskin stuff, look for toys made for small dogs) or even make stuff.

One of the best cat enrichment toys I've made was the small juice bottles (meal deal or mcdonalds breakfast sized), melt in some holes with a hot awl so that treats will fall out relatively easily, fill it up, stuff it inside a kids sock and let your cat chase it, grab it, 'skin it' and get at the treats.

You may want to start with the bottle without the 'skin' sock on it first, and work up to making it harder, and use really good stinky treats too, don't skimp there, you can reduce treat value once she has the hang of it.

Otherwise, really be open to experimenting with a variety of objects and let your cat investigat stuff too (dog people, you do this too its really really easy and really good for your dogs brain).

Bring home your shopping and sit on the floor and go through a bag, letting your pet look sniff etc as you take each item out. Being on the same level as you and getting to explore something together is REALLY good, really, surprisingly beneficial - probably because we naturally do the opposite, bring in new curiousity stimulating stuff and then snatch it away and go NO NO YOU CAN'T SEE SHOO GO AWAY... which makes it stressful and frustrating!

Check out the Nina Ottoson range of puzzle toys too.. those are fun and very good quality.

If she is a slappitybappity pawsy sort of cat then a small Kong Wobbler might be good.

Please update us as to how your cat is after a while of no laser and better interactive/fun enrichment.

WendellGeez · 08/07/2022 03:54

What the heck does "She'sy" mean?

IDreamOfTheMoors · 08/07/2022 04:27

There must be a zillion cat toys on Amazon. My cats always loved those little catnip mice. And the pp who said ball up a piece of foil was right, too.
I once had a cat that went insane for a tiny little rubber mouse that wasn’t even a cat toy - he’d play with that by the hour. We accidentally left it up at our mountain cabin and my dad had to drive over an hour up there to retrieve it.

And there’s those feather-on-a-stick toys that are popular. A ball in a box is entertainment too.

Are you near any pet stores? They always have a stock of toys.

Wait. What was the question? Lasers? I don’t know anything about lasers, except you could point it at your BF’s fly to teach him a lesson.

I think you’re adorable and just the kind of cat-mom any kitty deserves.

knackeredagain · 08/07/2022 07:43

My boy has a tunnel to play in. He loves it when we dangle the fishing rod fly at one end and he can pounce through the tunnel to catch it

MassDebate · 08/07/2022 08:16

My BSH doesn’t like a laser either, he wants to catch something! Best toys ime are ping pong balls and my daughter’s pikmipops (she has reluctantly accepted they now belong to the cat) plus he likes any small cuddly toy he can pick up in his mouth. Pipecleaners rolled up are also great for chasing.
Springwatch is a popular distraction in our house.

Being oversensitive to my cat?
Lagertha6 · 08/07/2022 08:19

I love that! Is he single? I'm trying to get her off the local bad boy xxxx ;))))

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BiBoop · 08/07/2022 08:21

OP have you considered getting another cat?

II love this thread, youre all barmy - it's great. And I thought I was a crazy cat lady 😂 I've got nonothing on you lot. X

Lagertha6 · 08/07/2022 08:22

I know. I can't myself. She's getting better as she's getting older. I don't think she realises that she hasn't stopped going the loo when she leaves her litter tray.

It's been all over my floor, sofa, bed. Plus she doesn't sit still for me so I have to follow her round the house doing it. She's got onto the fact I use treats as distraction

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