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Original poster

Boyish girl

98 replies

HowdoIphrasethis · 06/07/2022 13:34

Dd, almost 4, is very into Spider-Man, Sonic, Garfield etc, she’s not at all interested in princesses and so on.
My parents yesterday called her a ‘Boyish girl’ and said for her birthday instead of buying her Sonic toys and a couple of Spider-Man ones (I’ve also got her a doll. Frozen bike etc) that I should be buying more doll things and *Girly things.
Its true she often prefers to play with the boys as their play is more exciting, she says. She’s very bright with a great sense of humour and v imaginative. She plays with girls sometimes, is fine wearing dresses and likes animals and pretty things…god, I feel ridiculous saying all that 🙄think my parents have got in my head!

What is/was your girl like at that age? Should I be encouraging *Girlier interests and pursuits?

OP posts:
ouch321 · 06/07/2022 13:36

I think a mix is good. I wasn't interested in dolls really as a child. I liked building forts more.

BruceWaynettaSlob · 06/07/2022 13:37

What is/was your girl like at that age? Should I be encouraging Girlier interests and pursuits?*

Of course not, if it's age appropriate then let her enjoy what she likes.
You already know this though.

KatharinaRosalie · 06/07/2022 13:38

What do you think will happen if she doesn't pay with dolls?

BruceWaynettaSlob · 06/07/2022 13:39

Agree with pp though that a mix is good. She might find she likes something she thought she wouldn't like.

lifeturnsonadime · 06/07/2022 13:40

Oh for goodness sake your daughter likes what she likes. Don't buy her gendered toys just to appease your parents notions of how a girl ought to behave.

My teen daughter loved 'pink' things when she was little now she rejects everything that are associated traditionally with femininity. So what? she likes what she likes. No wrong way to be a girl!

So long as your daughter is happy leave her be.

turquoisebuttons · 06/07/2022 13:40

No, just let her play with what she wants to. Your parents are being a bit silly. It’s 2022, girls can like Spider-Man and boys can like dressing up as Elsa, it’s fine.

countrygirl99 · 06/07/2022 13:42

Let her be, she's fine as she is.

Ahgoonyegirlye · 06/07/2022 13:42

Let her be. She sounds absolutely normal to me. If she like super hero stuff Captain Marvel and Wonder Woman are great female ones, Rey the new Star Wars is also pretty kick arse.
don’t try to change or force her into stuff she doesn’t like, it’ll all come in time. Playing with dollies certainly is t going to make her more ‘girly’.

waterrat · 06/07/2022 13:43

This is ridiculous op. She is tiny. What on earth makes garfield a boy thing ? I have a boy and girl they both loved garfield. Its a cartoon about a cat.

Ahgoonyegirlye · 06/07/2022 13:44

At that age it was my son who had a ‘baby’ and a buggy. Now he’s a proper sporty teen boy who also happens to really like little kids and babies.

Original poster
HowdoIphrasethis · 06/07/2022 13:44

Is this a fairly common though, would you say? I notice her girl friends are mainly all into dressing as princesses. I’ve never really watched films with princesses with her particularly

OP posts:
Ohrwurm · 06/07/2022 13:45

I was this child. I liked teenage mutant hero turtles, "boys" toys, played football. If anyone had tried to "encourage" me with Barbies and dolls, I would have been very unhappy.

It annoys me when people push their gender bias bullshit onto children.

Mememene · 06/07/2022 13:45

waterrat · 06/07/2022 13:43

This is ridiculous op. She is tiny. What on earth makes garfield a boy thing ? I have a boy and girl they both loved garfield. Its a cartoon about a cat.

Why would you want to waste your money on buying things your daughter doesn't want to play with, and disappoint her into the bargain on her birthday.

Let her be............. as you already know.

siblingrevelryagain · 06/07/2022 13:46

As the Mom of a 10 year old 'boyish girl', please let her chart her own course, as I think you are doing.

Mine wouldn't wear dresses and skirts from a young age, which even now at age 10 I could insist on but I choose my battles and let her have some autonomy (her school uniform allows for trousers, which is actually more practical than a skirt anyway). She is like Sporty Spice - I can 'girly' her up by having a flash of pink in her adidas tracksuit or buying her leggings and a top. At weddings and smart occasions she wears a nice top and trousers/jumpsuit. Her pyjamas/bedding/dressing gowns etc are 'girly', so I indulge that part of me where I can!

When she was younger she was more vehement and wouldn't entertain girly stuff, and I didn't fight her and she has maintained her likes but is also open to trying stuff (she has her ears pierced, wears her hair long, likes sparkly unicorn stationary and other stereotypical 'girly' things), which might be because I haven't forced her to stop playing with what she wants. In every way she is f'ing awesome and her strength of character in butting heads with me will stand her in good stead when she comes up against arseholes in the future!

There are so many things where you need to be the tough parent and insist on your way (bedtimes, food, gaming, social media, manners etc) - what she wears - within reason - or plays with isn't a battle you need to have.

Original poster
HowdoIphrasethis · 06/07/2022 13:46

@Ahgoonyegirlye She only ever wants to be the boy characters 🤣When we play sonic, she’s sonic and I’m Tails (girl I think)
Nearly all her teddies are boys she says

OP posts:
Timeforanothername · 06/07/2022 13:47

Very very unreasonable to entertain such nonsense from your parents. Tell them they're being ridiculous and get your daughter what she wants.

GCRich · 06/07/2022 13:51

I don;t think you should be "encouraging" girlier interests, but you should be ensuring that she has access and opportunities to pursue them. I don;t think I'd have said this 5 or 10 years ago, but in this insane world where stereotypes seem to be seen as so important again I think that you have to be more careful.

G5000 · 06/07/2022 13:51

My daughter is like that. She won't wear dresses or pretty shoes as she can't play football in those, as she says. She loves dinosaurs and cars and robots and STEM kits. But my SILs are very concerned and keep giving her dolls and plastic jewellery, princess dress up costumes and make up kits, which simply get re-gifted no attention. Let her play with what she likes.

Original poster
HowdoIphrasethis · 06/07/2022 13:53

For me it’s no problem at all, I mean she’s a cool kid 😅loves music and is interesting to talk to. She’s often watched things with her dad and my parents saying that has made me wonder if I should’ve exposed her to Beauty and the beast or whatever, which I know in my heart is ridiculous!
As a child I wasn’t hugely girly but did love Care Bears, horses and Flower fairies…those things were as girly as it got, I wasn’t into babies in prams etc.
I don’t worry but I do wonder how it will go if all the girls aren’t into what she likes, will she just always play with boys?
She just really has a preference for boys 😂At gymnastics, there are four teachers, three women and one man, she adores the male teacher, loves playing with her dad & grandad etc

OP posts:
Original poster
HowdoIphrasethis · 06/07/2022 13:54

@GCRich What do you mean?

OP posts:
PattyMelt · 06/07/2022 13:56

Leave her alone. I was a boyish girl. Never really became a girly girl, I'm still not. Doesn't make me any less of a woman. I'm married with kids and a career. I'll occasionally wear a dress, but hate make up and nail painting. She'll find her own way if you don't pressure her.

pigsDOfly · 06/07/2022 14:04

Are you serious?

She's a little person who likes what she likes.

What do you think is going to happen to her if she doesn't like films with princesses in them and relates more to males?

So what if she always prefers to play with boys.

So what is the point of you buying her dolls and sparkly things for her birthday if she's not going to play with them? Just so your parents can be happy?

It's ridiculous.

Original poster
HowdoIphrasethis · 06/07/2022 14:06

@pigsDOfly Calm it, I think so too

OP posts:
Tessasanderson · 06/07/2022 14:07

How about you buy your daughter the things she asks for rather than the stuff other people suggest.

If you want an example of 'boyish' DD then mine is a good example. Whenever a ball was kicked into the trees by local boys, guess who climbed the tree to get it back. Yep, she was like a little monkey. Ball got kicked over the fence the other day and while everyone discussed how to get it back she ran up, vaulted the fence and got it back.

If boys were arm wrestling, she would sit down and beat them all. If they were being rough with her, she would flatten them. Even now if a boy tries to show off in front of her, she will out do him physically nearly every time. She was getting bullied at school in the dinner queue for a few weeks a while ago. Physically barging her out of the way. Eventually the boy ended up on his backside and everyone laughing at him.

What they dont see is that she trains to near olympic level at home and abroad. She may be slim and slight but she is absolutely ripped muscle.

Here is the twist though. She is 100% a girly girl. Makeup, nails, hair, clothes etc etc. You name it she loves it. Kids need to be allowed to go whatever way suits them.

AryaStarkWolf · 06/07/2022 14:10

Why would you pursue interests for her, the whole point of an "interest" is that it's interesting for the person pursuing it, surely? Why do your parents want to enforce restrictive and stupid stereotypes on your daughter? Don't do that OP