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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be so upset with my breasts?

94 replies

Bussty · 05/07/2022 10:01

NC'd.

I've always had large breasts but I assumed they'd stop growing at some point - but they're not stopping. I'm 27 now and they're still just getting bigger and bigger and bigger. They now weigh around 12.5% of my body weight - I'm a 34HH (and I'm only 5'2). I'm in so much pain every single day. I've previously run the London marathon, I've climbed Kilimanjaro, I played sport multiple times a week - I can't run at all now. My shoulders and back are completely the wrong shape, my ribs are deformed from the weight and are permanently damaged. I've got nerve damage in my neck/shoulders/arms/hands/head leaving me with migraines and a lack of sensation in my hands. I get sores and blisters and rashes - my breasts tear underneath and bleed. I've tried all the useless advice on getting properly fitted bras and physiotherapy and massages - none of it makes a blind bit of difference. I can't afford a reduction and the NHS won't help me because it's "cosmetic". I'm at my wits end. I feel like hacking at them with kitchen scissors and then maybe someone will help me.

Today, I've gone onto the Bravissimo website to buy the next size up in the bras that I like and that are wearable for me...and, lo-and-behold, they don't sell them in my new size. I've outgrown Bravissimo bras that fit my shape. When I eventually went to Bravissimo a few years ago, their bras were life changing and now I'm back to square one and I'm so scared how I'm supposed to cope without them. Bravissimo do have certain bras which go up much bigger but they aren't the ones that are the right shape for me - I just don't know where to start.

OP posts:
Lunarpsychobitch · 05/07/2022 10:08

Keep going back to your GP with back, neck rib pain etc... my friend had a reduction on the NHS because of the pain it was causing her

Bussty · 05/07/2022 10:17

Lunarpsychobitch · 05/07/2022 10:08

Keep going back to your GP with back, neck rib pain etc... my friend had a reduction on the NHS because of the pain it was causing her

It depends which CGC you're under. Some will fund a breast reduction if certain conditions are met - and some won't fund it even if it's life or death. I keep going back but they just throw painkillers and physio and creams at me - it would've cost the NHS less to just do the surgery.

OP posts:
Immaterialatthispoint · 05/07/2022 10:19

CCGs ceased to exist last week. You may find your new ICS has different guidance.

Charlavail · 05/07/2022 10:21

You poor thing. Sounds upsetting and frustrating? How much is the op? Can you get a loan and pay in smaller chunks?

MintJulia · 05/07/2022 10:21

How much is a breast reduction op in the U.K.? How much is it abroad?
Find out the prices, go back to your GP, ask again and then say you are considering going abroad for surgery because you can't cope anymore.
See what they say.

User0610134049 · 05/07/2022 10:21

Sounds horrendous OP. I think you have to fight it all the way with the health authority and consider if you can save up/get a loan/credit card to go private. You can’t live like this

Snowflakes1122 · 05/07/2022 10:23

So sorry you are suffering like this.

How on earth can the NHS claim this is cosmetic? Just disgraceful they won’t help women in your situation.

Bussty · 05/07/2022 10:23

Immaterialatthispoint · 05/07/2022 10:19

CCGs ceased to exist last week. You may find your new ICS has different guidance.

Is this true?! This is why I love Mumsnet! I swear you people tell me more about what's happening in the world than any other source!!

OP posts:
Lastqueenofscotland2 · 05/07/2022 10:26

if the NHS says no I’d look at putting a reduction on a credit card.

MiniPiccolo · 05/07/2022 10:28

Sorry OP but you're not pushing hard enough. Of course the NHS would help you given the complications they are causing, physically and mentally.

If you can't be arsed taking on the battle, then get a loan.

Mariposista · 05/07/2022 10:30

I feel really sorry for you. I totally agree that this is not a cosmetic issue at all and having a big chest with a small frame must be crippling. It’s not about being in proportion or looking good in clothes - your back and shoulders must be agony!
My friend had to have one eye removed age 3 due to cancer and now even though she has a realistic prosthesis her eyelid is drooping as there is nothing to hold the muscle there. Yet she cannot get surgery to correct this without paying thousands as it is ‘cosmetic’ even though having this flappy skin is uncomfortable particularly when wearing glasses. There should be funding for these cases when the need for surgery is no fault of the patient!

MiniPiccolo · 05/07/2022 10:31

Also if your breasts keep growing OP I'd be requesting an edocrinology referral. Otherwise after a reduction you'll just be back to square one.

You must know this isn't common/normal for breasts to just keep growing? Unless you're putting on a few stone a year.

Boating123 · 05/07/2022 10:31

I don't know much about crowd funding but I read about a lady who successfully crowd funded to pay for her surgery.

If that doesn't work I would got to the bank for a loan with an agreed repayment plan.

Bussty · 05/07/2022 10:32

MiniPiccolo · 05/07/2022 10:28

Sorry OP but you're not pushing hard enough. Of course the NHS would help you given the complications they are causing, physically and mentally.

If you can't be arsed taking on the battle, then get a loan.

This is an incredibly ignorant attitude around how NHS funding works. If it's not funded in your area then it's not funded - you can push and push and push, the rules are the rules. If you're in an area that doesn't fund breast reduction then they're just as likely to fund your new car.

OP posts:
Dogtooth · 05/07/2022 10:33

Erm. It sounds like you might be overegging it a bit to be honest. Your ribs are deformed at 27? Really?

I'm 40 with 32J norks. They were even heavier and bigger when pregnant and breastfeeding. So I know where you are coming from.

However, back pain can often be treated by strengthening your core and improving posture. If you slouch over, you will have more pain. Do pilates or something.

Sores under the boobs - probably the wrong size bra, or not changing it often enough, wearing it at night etc so you get too sweaty and the skin is rubbed. Bit of talc or lubrication stuff will help with that, as will airing the skin.

Nerve pain - this would only be from ill fitting bras that I can imagine, cutting into the neck in the wrong place.

You can't get your favourite bra in your size any more. But you can get a bra, right? Just not your favourite? Amplebosom.com and similar have sizes that go way up to M cups. It's possible.

TBH you sound like you're being overly dramatic. If you can't run, take up cycling or swimming or something. Or weights, that should help improve your core. Save up for a boob job if that's what you want. I think you could do way more to improve the situation if you weren't feeling sorry for yourself though.

Bussty · 05/07/2022 10:34

MiniPiccolo · 05/07/2022 10:31

Also if your breasts keep growing OP I'd be requesting an edocrinology referral. Otherwise after a reduction you'll just be back to square one.

You must know this isn't common/normal for breasts to just keep growing? Unless you're putting on a few stone a year.

This is what I thought but they did endocrinology tests last year and said everything is fine (blood tests and a 24 urine collection). I'm not gaining weight anywhere else.

OP posts:
Pyewhacket · 05/07/2022 10:35

MintJulia · 05/07/2022 10:21

How much is a breast reduction op in the U.K.? How much is it abroad?
Find out the prices, go back to your GP, ask again and then say you are considering going abroad for surgery because you can't cope anymore.
See what they say.

The GP won't say anything but I would definitely look at funding this procedure myself.

It's about £5000-£6500 in the UK , probably cheaper abroad, which is the cost of a second hand car but it would be worth it.

Bussty · 05/07/2022 10:39

Dogtooth · 05/07/2022 10:33

Erm. It sounds like you might be overegging it a bit to be honest. Your ribs are deformed at 27? Really?

I'm 40 with 32J norks. They were even heavier and bigger when pregnant and breastfeeding. So I know where you are coming from.

However, back pain can often be treated by strengthening your core and improving posture. If you slouch over, you will have more pain. Do pilates or something.

Sores under the boobs - probably the wrong size bra, or not changing it often enough, wearing it at night etc so you get too sweaty and the skin is rubbed. Bit of talc or lubrication stuff will help with that, as will airing the skin.

Nerve pain - this would only be from ill fitting bras that I can imagine, cutting into the neck in the wrong place.

You can't get your favourite bra in your size any more. But you can get a bra, right? Just not your favourite? Amplebosom.com and similar have sizes that go way up to M cups. It's possible.

TBH you sound like you're being overly dramatic. If you can't run, take up cycling or swimming or something. Or weights, that should help improve your core. Save up for a boob job if that's what you want. I think you could do way more to improve the situation if you weren't feeling sorry for yourself though.

I'm not overegging - I'm glad you assume everyone else is fine just because you are.

I didn't say "not my favourite". I said I can't get the ones that are the correct shape - i.e. they're technically the correct size but don't fit me so will result in even worse pain. A 34HH in one style of bra will be a different shape to a 34HH in another style of bra - a woman with 34HH breasts won't fit both properly (which is why it's important to get professionally fitted). The bravissimo bras which are the correct shape for me aren't available in my size anymore.

I'd question whether you're a medical professional given that you think you know everything but even medical professionals think this is cosmetic when it isn't so clearly it wouldn't help.

OP posts:
Kiwi93 · 05/07/2022 10:41

Hi Op, I feel your pain I am in the exact same boat. I have also been back and forth to the doctors for years now with no help and constant knock backs. I have saved up and going abroad in a few months to get a reduction, I can’t stand having them any longer they have had such an affect on my physical and mental health.

Bussty · 05/07/2022 10:42

Kiwi93 · 05/07/2022 10:41

Hi Op, I feel your pain I am in the exact same boat. I have also been back and forth to the doctors for years now with no help and constant knock backs. I have saved up and going abroad in a few months to get a reduction, I can’t stand having them any longer they have had such an affect on my physical and mental health.

I'm sorry you're in the same boat - do you mind me asking where you're going? How did you determine the safety and standards of care are good enough?

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 05/07/2022 10:44

You should definitely be getting a reduction on the Nhs if your breasts are so heavy that they've deformed your skeleton and given you nerve damage!

Go back and keep going back!

Beautiful3 · 05/07/2022 10:46

Honestly if it were me, I'd go privately. You can repay them in installments. I'd reduce them to a c cup. I really hope you find a way to reduce them.

3RingsARingaDingDing · 05/07/2022 10:47

Have you considered going abroad? I went for a private operation and they were wonderful. Standards way above the NHS, lots more preop tests too.

I am going back to have a 2nd surgery, aso breast related.

chiffchaffchiff · 05/07/2022 10:52

I had the opposite problem and had a breast enlargement in France. It wasn't cheap but it was about 2/3 of the price quoted here. I was living there at the time which helped but the surgeon and anaesthesiologist were both fluent in English. The surgeon used to do some work in the U.K. too but got too busy on the French side to keep travelling back and forth.

The hospital was a private hospital for maternity and cosmetic surgery patients. Facilities were good. The staff were friendly. Even the ones who spoke broken English wanted to practice English despite me speaking French.

Tomnooktoldmeto · 05/07/2022 10:53

I feel your pain, I’m less than 5ft and 36JJ. with spinal arthritis and fibromyalgia

have you looked at Elomi bras? lve found these very good and they have an added J hook that can turn it into a sports bra and alters how the weight is distributed on your shoulders and spine

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