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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be so upset with my breasts?

94 replies

Bussty · 05/07/2022 10:01

NC'd.

I've always had large breasts but I assumed they'd stop growing at some point - but they're not stopping. I'm 27 now and they're still just getting bigger and bigger and bigger. They now weigh around 12.5% of my body weight - I'm a 34HH (and I'm only 5'2). I'm in so much pain every single day. I've previously run the London marathon, I've climbed Kilimanjaro, I played sport multiple times a week - I can't run at all now. My shoulders and back are completely the wrong shape, my ribs are deformed from the weight and are permanently damaged. I've got nerve damage in my neck/shoulders/arms/hands/head leaving me with migraines and a lack of sensation in my hands. I get sores and blisters and rashes - my breasts tear underneath and bleed. I've tried all the useless advice on getting properly fitted bras and physiotherapy and massages - none of it makes a blind bit of difference. I can't afford a reduction and the NHS won't help me because it's "cosmetic". I'm at my wits end. I feel like hacking at them with kitchen scissors and then maybe someone will help me.

Today, I've gone onto the Bravissimo website to buy the next size up in the bras that I like and that are wearable for me...and, lo-and-behold, they don't sell them in my new size. I've outgrown Bravissimo bras that fit my shape. When I eventually went to Bravissimo a few years ago, their bras were life changing and now I'm back to square one and I'm so scared how I'm supposed to cope without them. Bravissimo do have certain bras which go up much bigger but they aren't the ones that are the right shape for me - I just don't know where to start.

OP posts:
ParanoidGynodroid · 05/07/2022 10:55

A friend of mine had hers on on the NHS a few years ago. It wasn't deemed cosmetic because they were causing her pain and discomfort.

Could you see another Dr and get a second opinion?

Dogtooth · 05/07/2022 10:56

This reply has been deleted

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HarryPopper · 05/07/2022 10:59

34 inch band so you're a dress size 14-16? Losing weight might help them shrink a bit.
Have they increased in size due to weight gain? Have you had children? Make sure you work on your core strength and keep looking for bras. It's annoying when they go out of stock but that's life.
If you don't need or want to lose weight I would suggest you find the money to go privately in the UK or outside. Second job, a family or bank loan, sell your car.. whatever it takes.

pinkyredrose · 05/07/2022 11:00

This reply has been deleted

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Do you have problems with comprehension?

rummynose · 05/07/2022 11:03

Immaterialatthispoint · 05/07/2022 10:19

CCGs ceased to exist last week. You may find your new ICS has different guidance.

Sorry this isn't related to the post but would this mean that if my area is currently no to sterilisation unless in exceptional circumstances that this might be reviewed. Similar to the OP I've been told this isn't an option despite my arguments that it is actually the best option for me and what I'd like.

Original poster
Bussty · 05/07/2022 11:03

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Dearie, I don't need lecturing from you either. You're clearly not informed because, despite having large breasts, you have no idea what you're talking about. How outrageously rude and patronising you are!

To be clear:


  • This is not my fault for wearing incorrect bra sizes. I wear the correct size, professionally fitted.

  • This is not my fault for not exercising. I exercise frequently and have solid muscle mass.

  • This is not my fault for not changing my bra regularly enough and having poor hygiene. I wash regularly and change my bra regularly and use all the creams I have to use not to get infections.

  • This is not my fault for having poor posture. I see a physiotherapist and am doing everything I can.


All of this was said before you chimed in telling me that I'm being dramatic and it's all my fault this is happening to me - without a hint of awareness that other people can experience something that you're not the victim of. Your attitude is exactly why breast reduction is seen as cosmetic - because you just assume that anyone whose breasts are so large they're causing horrendous issues is actually just lazy, unhygienic and dramatic.

Funny how you've said you don't need a lecture on bra sizing and then gone on to completely fail to comprehend what I said about it.

OP posts:
vivainsomnia · 05/07/2022 11:04

34 inch band so you're a dress size 14-16?
What? I'm 34inch, borderline 36 and a size 10, sometimes 8!

OP, has your GP even tried to request funding approval from the CCG (now ICS). It is always worth a try.

Hump1 · 05/07/2022 11:04

Totally appreciate the pain of having excessively large boobs, I’m a 32KK currently but I could do with losing some weight! Anyway…bravissimo is notorious for their own bra’s coming up small, elomi has been recommended and is great. Are you circa a size 14 or larger? Otherwise I would suggest your bra size isn’t right, a bra that holds firm doesn’t rub etc. (look up boob or bust if you haven’t already) I’ve found sainsburys also sell DD+ sleep bra’s that actually get my boobs in and are also comfortable for sleeping xx

Hump1 · 05/07/2022 11:06

Basically your back size in your bra should be around your clothes size plus 20 to sense check it but otherwise just measure firmly under your bust and that’s your number, the old fashioned plus 4 method is often the reason for a rubbing painful bra x

ParanoidGynodroid · 05/07/2022 11:06

@Dogtooth you are so rude!

HarryPopper · 05/07/2022 11:08

I think @Dogtooth is being realistic and practical with helpful tips actually. It's fine to post to vent or seeking sympathy but it won't change op's situation. It's not like any of us will cobble together with a go fund me for her reduction besides it's am I being unreasonable section of mumsnet!

Original poster
Bussty · 05/07/2022 11:10

I'm not a size 14, I'm around a size 10 on my waist and hips (but often have to buy much larger clothing because of the breasts).

OP posts:
Original poster
Bussty · 05/07/2022 11:13

HarryPopper · 05/07/2022 11:08

I think @Dogtooth is being realistic and practical with helpful tips actually. It's fine to post to vent or seeking sympathy but it won't change op's situation. It's not like any of us will cobble together with a go fund me for her reduction besides it's am I being unreasonable section of mumsnet!

Respectfully, all of her "tips" were "I don't believe you" followed by "do [something you've already said you're doing] because you're clearly doing it wrong and causing this problem for yourself". Some people on here have given tips that are actually useful and I've been very grateful to them - telling me to do things that I've already stated that I've tried doing, in a rude and patronising manner, whilst implying I'm a liar isn't being "realistic and practical".

OP posts:
ChampagneLassie · 05/07/2022 11:14

Dogtooth · 05/07/2022 10:33

Erm. It sounds like you might be overegging it a bit to be honest. Your ribs are deformed at 27? Really?

I'm 40 with 32J norks. They were even heavier and bigger when pregnant and breastfeeding. So I know where you are coming from.

However, back pain can often be treated by strengthening your core and improving posture. If you slouch over, you will have more pain. Do pilates or something.

Sores under the boobs - probably the wrong size bra, or not changing it often enough, wearing it at night etc so you get too sweaty and the skin is rubbed. Bit of talc or lubrication stuff will help with that, as will airing the skin.

Nerve pain - this would only be from ill fitting bras that I can imagine, cutting into the neck in the wrong place.

You can't get your favourite bra in your size any more. But you can get a bra, right? Just not your favourite? Amplebosom.com and similar have sizes that go way up to M cups. It's possible.

TBH you sound like you're being overly dramatic. If you can't run, take up cycling or swimming or something. Or weights, that should help improve your core. Save up for a boob job if that's what you want. I think you could do way more to improve the situation if you weren't feeling sorry for yourself though.

Very unempathetic and just b/c you have big boobs your body is obviously different. I have large breasts, 34H when I was younger I was going to have reduction on NHS because of back pain and trapped nerves. I decided to wait till after children and lost weight to a size 8 which made easier 32ff. I'm so sorry @Bussty this really sucks. It definitely is possible to get this on NHS, I'd try to get a friendly Dr on side to work out how, if it's not in your area perhaps moving (not really just registering) with a surgery in another area? Or getting a private referral? Or as others have suggested get it done private and take debt. Its quite major surgery I'd be wary of going abroad

007DoubleOSeven · 05/07/2022 11:15

MiniPiccolo · 05/07/2022 10:31

Also if your breasts keep growing OP I'd be requesting an edocrinology referral. Otherwise after a reduction you'll just be back to square one.

You must know this isn't common/normal for breasts to just keep growing? Unless you're putting on a few stone a year.

Yes this is what I was thinking, I'd be looking for a hormonal reason as to why they keep growing.

Absolutely push your gp hard for a referral and when the times comes also for a reduction.

Women's health matters.

Immaterialatthispoint · 05/07/2022 11:15

@vivainsomnia if you are an 8 in a 34 or 36 band you are in the wrong size.

@Bussty or @rummynose

yes it’s true, and I don’t know rummy. They may review it or not- it will depend upon the individual ICS, but it will take some time for them to review and consider various pathways and protocols.

@vivainsomnia Raises a good point- there is an exceptional case fund and always has been. Have you looked into that, or asked your Gp to?

AnotherAnxiousMess · 05/07/2022 11:17

Bussty · 05/07/2022 11:10

I'm not a size 14, I'm around a size 10 on my waist and hips (but often have to buy much larger clothing because of the breasts).

Have you measured using the calculator on booborbust.com? They also have a really helpful fb page. If you’re a size 10, you’re more likely to be in a 30 band and a larger cup size… which is probably not what you want to hear… I’m a 32HH and although I don’t suffer with the same amount of pain, I can understand how you’re feeling and often look into a breast reduction. If that’s what you really want, I would start saving up or get out a loan to go privately.

SwishSwishBisch · 05/07/2022 11:18

Sounds miserable OP. You may well eventually make some headway with the NHS if you’re prepared for the long haul but I’m wondering like a PP suggested whether you’re in a position to go abroad? A 0% interest CC might make it more affordable than you’re thinking (although obviously do not get yourself into debt if you can’t afford the repayments!)

Original poster
Bussty · 05/07/2022 11:21

Thanks for the suggestions around the changes from CCG and exceptional case funding. Really helpful stuff. I would be prepared to go abroad if it's affordable but have no idea how to ensure it's safe and reputable etc.

OP posts:
Bednobsbroomsticks · 05/07/2022 11:22

Feel you OP. I absolutely hate my breasts. I am 5ft 1 and have to get down to 7 stone for them to shrink. Life's too short if NHS says no I'd get the surgery. After menopause mine got even bigger. Hate them.

pucelleauxblanchesmains · 05/07/2022 11:30

"Dearie" - so patronising, yuck.

vivainsomnia · 05/07/2022 11:32

if you are an 8 in a 34 or 36 band you are in the wrong size
I'm really not just broad from the back. 5'2'', 8 1/2 stone, b cup.

Triffid1 · 05/07/2022 11:35

OP - I completely understand your issue. I would also consider international options if you can. (although based on what others are saying, it might be that your GP can now refer you).

In terms of finding specialists, I imagine websites like MN could offer advice, also Facebook etc.

I am South African and I know quite a few people who choose to use South Africa for "medical tourism" because they can find doctors who are English-speaking, do research in English etc. I have actually met a couple of South Africans who at various times have rented out accommodation close to some of the big hospitals specifically for people travelling for cosmetic surgery because I think it is really quite common.

The flight to SA is expensive however and adds to the cost (although with the exchange rate, everything else is quite cheap).

Suzi888 · 05/07/2022 11:43

You poor thing, sounds very uncomfortable. I’d go back to my G.P , they shouldn’t keep growing like that surely? I’d ask your GP for a list of reputable overseas surgeons if they aren’t prepared to assist you. You certainly sound like you need a reduction to me.

Dogtooth- some people would pay to have boobs like OP. She doesn’t want them though!