AIBU to be so upset with my breasts?

[Bussty]

NC'd.

I've always had large breasts but I assumed they'd stop growing at some point - but they're not stopping. I'm 27 now and they're still just getting bigger and bigger and bigger. They now weigh around 12.5% of my body weight - I'm a 34HH (and I'm only 5'2). I'm in so much pain every single day. I've previously run the London marathon, I've climbed Kilimanjaro, I played sport multiple times a week - I can't run at all now. My shoulders and back are completely the wrong shape, my ribs are deformed from the weight and are permanently damaged. I've got nerve damage in my neck/shoulders/arms/hands/head leaving me with migraines and a lack of sensation in my hands. I get sores and blisters and rashes - my breasts tear underneath and bleed. I've tried all the useless advice on getting properly fitted bras and physiotherapy and massages - none of it makes a blind bit of difference. I can't afford a reduction and the NHS won't help me because it's "cosmetic". I'm at my wits end. I feel like hacking at them with kitchen scissors and then maybe someone will help me.

Today, I've gone onto the Bravissimo website to buy the next size up in the bras that I like and that are wearable for me...and, lo-and-behold, they don't sell them in my new size. I've outgrown Bravissimo bras that fit my shape. When I eventually went to Bravissimo a few years ago, their bras were life changing and now I'm back to square one and I'm so scared how I'm supposed to cope without them. Bravissimo do have certain bras which go up much bigger but they aren't the ones that are the right shape for me - I just don't know where to start.

Wow @Dogtooth way to completely dismiss the OP because you're alright jack. Horrible horrible posts. Notice you don't say how tall you are - having massive boobs on a 5ft9 athletic frame is a very different proposition to having them on a 5ft2 petite frame. Also depends on the composition of your boobs, might be heavier or lighter. And as for saying "you can just get another bra" - you do know women's breasts can be different shapes, differently positioned right? I for e.g. have a significant gap between my boobs, at least an inch, and very soft breast tissue (except when bf and full of milk). Cleavage is a thing I'll never have, so t-shirt bras, plunge bras etc are just no use and uncomfortable - if I want to be comfortable I need to find a balcony bra, and because of my soft breast tissue I need one with good top coverage - quite unusual as most balcony bras are designed to be sort of "sweetheart" ones that allow you to "bulge" over the top. I don't bulge I spill! So it's not just a case of "get a different bra". Took me ages to find one that worked for me, and I bought two in each colour as I dread it going out of stock. A different balcony bra in the same size from the same supplier didn't work at all. It's highly individual!

@MiniPiccolo you're also being uneccesarily mean, I wonder why? I mean what do you get out of telling the OP she "can't be arsed for the fight" when (a) she shouldn't have to fight for necessary medical care in the first place (b) she already is fighting and (c) she is suffering and in pain with something that is absolutely no fault of her own and doesn't need a kicking from you just because you're in a mood?

Sorry you're suffering OP. I hope the change in the structure of the service will open up a window of opportunity for you. Do you have an advocate? Is your GP onside in principle, just hamstrung by procedure, or is she indifferent - if so can you try and get a different one? Can your physio advocate for you? Or can you pursue a mental health angle and try and get someone to acknowledge the distress this is causing you? What you said about self harming is really distressing and I'm sure is coming from a place of real suffering - this matters and should be taken into account.

Keep going back to the GP, give it another 6 months and then look into a payment plan with a private hospital, a friend had her hysterectomy that way and paid it off gradually.

I know someone who has repeatedly been to Istanbul for cosmetic surgery with good experiences. I could find out what clinic if you like?

If it is causing you pain, then the NHS cannot write it off as being "cosmetic". That is simply not accurate.

Go back to your GP and explain the discomfort you are in. Be firm but not aggressive. Sometimes with the NHS, you have to be quite forthright to get what you need.

Hi OP,

The first thing I did when I started earning 'proper' money (ie able to have savings) was to book a breast reduction abroad. I was 'only' a double F cup (also on a 5'2 frame) so I didn't even bother asking the NHS as I knew they'd not care. I went down to a C after surgery in Poland.

It was the best thing I've ever done and I wish I'd been able to do it earlier. If I'd known the difference it would make I would have worked 70-hour weeks in my 20s to save up the money. I was quite sporty in primary school but stopped running, playing football etc because breasts got in the way (and it's not 'just a matter of the right bra' etc etc - the very existence of large breasts is debilitating in so many ways).

Beg, borrow, put it on a credit card - if you can fund a reduction op, I recommend it. It's disgusting that women are just supposed to put up with this!

Feel free to PM me. Best of luck, I really feel for you.

I feel your pain OP.

I lost 2 stone last year and my boobs didn't even go down a cup size. I have been seeing physio for a couple of years and her advice is to get a reduction as no amount of exercise/strengthening will compensate for the sheer bulk of them.

If I knew what a state my norks would end up in I would never have breastfed as this hasn't helped as they have headed south quite drastically which just increases the pull on my shoulders.

I would talk to your physio and see if they can write a letter to your GP recommending that they look into a reduction for you. It might help?

Things that might help

new mattress
reduce driving
Buckwheat bolster shaped neck pillow
swimming
a new set of bras (as that sort of infection clings to fabric)
thin T shirt vests (tui do cheap ones) worn under the bra till skin is healed
different deodorant and showers twice a day till skin is healed
those clips that make bras into a racer back so you can change the strain regularly
talk to bravissimo about a good alternative they know their stock well.
lose weight. (I know you aren’t overweight but you can be overweight for your body type, imo, all my weight goes on boobs/tummy, so dropping a few pounds can make a huge difference)
a physio might be able to help with shoulder strain by showing you a helpful kinesiology tape pattern?

Big boobs are an effort. I do like mine now but it took me years to like them. I now accept them as who I am.

This may not relate to you as some women can be very skinny with big boobs, but it might help your back pain a bit.

I am also 5 foot 2 with big boobs. I had to put a plan in place to manage them

Losing weight. I was never overweight, but if I am a size 12 -14 my boobs are just too big for my frame. They are too big for me to carry around when I am that size. A size 12-14 is a perfectly normal size. But my boobs are huge when I am that size. So being a small height I was determined to get my weight down.

Now I am a size 10, my boobs don't hurt my back. I still have bad posture and I am always slumping but I am not in pain.

I don't know if this will help you but it's worth a try if you haven't already.

I know some womens boobs are simply too painful and big to manage and if you really need a reduction , treat yourself to it (with a loan).

I send you a hug

I’m a 32H (also 5’3!) so appreciate how uncomfortable it is. Curvy Kate do the best bras for me, with the added benefit of not looking like my granny’s bras.

Have you actually took a tape measure and measured your underbust? I don’t believe you measure 34/ 36 at that size. I worked in bra fitting and the amount of tiny women that used to come in adamant they were a 34 back because they were ‘broad’ was ridiculous. They weren’t. They had just become accustomed to wearing a massive band size and had no idea how a decent bra fitted.

None of this plus 4 rule that M&S use either. What you measure under bust is what you are.

5zeds you said

"lose weight. (I know you aren’t overweight but you can be overweight for your body type, imo, all my weight goes on boobs/tummy, so dropping a few pounds can make a huge difference)
a physio might be able to help with shoulder strain by showing you a helpful kinesiology tape pattern?"

• this is so true. You don't have to be overweight to have massive boobs, some women put weight on their boobs.

You have to look at where you put weight on, and what weight is most comfortable for you. It is good for women to look at their own body type

I put all the weight on my boobs. If I am size 14-16, my boobs are absolutely massive. They are so heavy to carry around.

If I am a size 12-14 my boobs are still uncomfortable and my back is in pain.

Now I am a size ten and my boobs are fine. I have no pain.

Weight management does help some women with big boobs, as boobs are basically sacks of fat.

But you know your own body best OP.

'Surgery is a drastic and expensive option, it's worth trying everything else first.'

No, it isn't worth trying everything else first, not if large breasts are causing serious discomfort. I was almost at the body dysmorphic stage in the months leading up to my surgery - I absolutely hated my breasts, and obviously this was not good for my mental health. I didn't want to try different bras etc - I LOATHED having such large breasts, and surgery was not a drastic option.

OP - sorry, forgot to say: my surgery was about £2700; I paid in full at the time, and paid another few hundred pounds on flights/hotel. I stayed in Poland for a week or so afterwards (hotel). Make sure you bring someone with you! I didn't, which was a bit daft. But I just wanted it done.

I would also recommend doing research into surgery - on a payment plan in this country or in another country. I had a breast reduction age 24 and it was the single best thing I have ever done for myself. Since then, I have gained significant weight and my breasts are large but when I think about how big they'd be now if I hadn't had the surgery.... it actually makes me feel a little ill.

I’d look at the Tatler cosmetic surgeon guide online and find a good surgeon in this country. I know it’s expensive but you can finance these things & it will hopefully improve your life.

I am 34H so I do understand. At your age I would definitely save up or take out a loan to get the operation done privately in UK.

There is a condition where breast tissue just keeps growing. My friend has K cups and it has really affected her life. If you want a reduction, go for it, even if it means paying in installments.

Gigantomastia

I had a reduction on the NHS in 2005. No matter how much weight I lost they didn't change the size. One was also noticeably larger.
I first went to the doctors a long time before & was told we don't do them on the NHS anymore. Then years later I found out someone in the same town was getting one, so went back & told my GP this.
He said I'll refer you but it won't get done. Anyway he refereed me to Lancaster & I just saw a general surgeon who had been taught to do breast reductions, & he took some measurements & said no woman should be unhappy with their breasts & I got it done 2 months later.
I would just keep going back and asking the question, you never know.

Keep going back to your GP & keep making a big fuss about the pain you are it. A friend of mine was given a breast reduction on the NHS for exactly what you describe

What a wonderfully supportive and useful comment. 🙄 from a poster who just so happens to have bigger boobs, by one cup size. Hmm.

I'm not sure where these ideas about back size come from. Pre kids I was a size 10 and a 34/36. There's no way i was even close to a 30, I wouldn't have been physically able to do it up!

Go to a different GP, the way you describing sounds like agony, it's not cosmetic for you. If they really won't, then most private clinics have finance options

Love how people can be so sure in what they're saying without even seeing you . I'm a size 20 in a 36HH - I have a small ribcage. I have a friend who is much much slimmer also in a 36 band because she is a different shape.

Have you actually took a tape measure and measured your underbust? I don’t believe you measure 34/ 36 at that size
You made me question myself! Just measured, I'm 32 under bust, 34 with breasts. I've just lost 10lbs and moved to 34B.

Breasts that never stop growing = Gigantomastia ?
Is that an endocrine disorder?