AIBU to be so upset with my breasts?

[Bussty]

NC'd.

I've always had large breasts but I assumed they'd stop growing at some point - but they're not stopping. I'm 27 now and they're still just getting bigger and bigger and bigger. They now weigh around 12.5% of my body weight - I'm a 34HH (and I'm only 5'2). I'm in so much pain every single day. I've previously run the London marathon, I've climbed Kilimanjaro, I played sport multiple times a week - I can't run at all now. My shoulders and back are completely the wrong shape, my ribs are deformed from the weight and are permanently damaged. I've got nerve damage in my neck/shoulders/arms/hands/head leaving me with migraines and a lack of sensation in my hands. I get sores and blisters and rashes - my breasts tear underneath and bleed. I've tried all the useless advice on getting properly fitted bras and physiotherapy and massages - none of it makes a blind bit of difference. I can't afford a reduction and the NHS won't help me because it's "cosmetic". I'm at my wits end. I feel like hacking at them with kitchen scissors and then maybe someone will help me.

Today, I've gone onto the Bravissimo website to buy the next size up in the bras that I like and that are wearable for me...and, lo-and-behold, they don't sell them in my new size. I've outgrown Bravissimo bras that fit my shape. When I eventually went to Bravissimo a few years ago, their bras were life changing and now I'm back to square one and I'm so scared how I'm supposed to cope without them. Bravissimo do have certain bras which go up much bigger but they aren't the ones that are the right shape for me - I just don't know where to start.

How much overweight are you? You could spin/cycle without involving them. It’s hard to believe they just keep growing and growing without you putting on weight?

Go for a fitting at Rigby and Peller, even if you have to take a day off work to do it. Their bras are like armour and will definitely find something that works for you.

Otherwise it sounds like you need to go private. Plenty of places offer payment plans.

For bras, if you have a Rigby & Peller store you can go to I'd recommend that. They have a wider range of brands and you can say your maximum price you can afford so they don't bring you the most expensive ones (some are a bit pricey).

I had a breast reduction & mastoplexy (uplift) abroad in my home country. Note that at your size, an uplift is necessary, it's not "just" a a reduction. Research the different types of breast surgery and risks e.g some keep the nipple attached with a blood supply to then be repositioned, others virtually cut it off and sew it back on. The bigger you are the more complex the surgery is. My surgeon was also clear he couldn't go as small as I wanted (C cup) due to my size and shape - I ended up an 32E (still a huge improvement though) and am currently a 36F due to lockdown weight gain.

I organised it all from the UK and chose a surgeon from 3 I shortlisted, going for the one that felt the most risk averse and nicest in terms of all the email contact, not the cheapest. I went to the consultation appointment on my arrival (with my sister as support), at that point either the surgeon or I could decide not to go ahead. He'd been clear he would not go ahead if he thought I wasn't suitable after all the pre surgery checks such as blood pressure etc. Ditto if I chickened out he was fine with that.

Had the surgery 3 days later, in hospital for 1 night, stayed with family for a few weeks taking it easy, checkups at 1 week post surgery and 2.5 weeks on day before I was due to fly back. Had to wear post surgery bra and compression stockings on plane and got lots of lectures about possible blood clots/DVT and signs to look for. Went to my UK GP for a check of the (dissolving) stitches a few weeks later and all was fine. Swelling took about a month to go down, scars were quite red and took about year to fade to skin tone, now you cannot tell unless peering very closely!

If you do consider going abroad, choose one with the qualifications and registered with a professional body for cosmetic surgeons, similar to in the UK (Royal College of Surgeons, British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (BAAPS), the British Association of Plastic, Reconstructive and Aesthetic Surgeons (BAPRAS)) and only select surgeons from that list.

Look at their websites as you want someone whose done a lot of breast reductions (many specialise in certain types of cosmetic surgery) and email for ideas of prices and process. Take a friend with you -as you need someone who can stay with you after hospital discharge, in case you get an infection or become unwell. You need someone who can act fast to get help. Ask what the surgeon will do if there are complications and how costs for any rehospitalisation would be covered and if that would be part of the price of the surgery or extra. I was in a country that has reciprocal medical arrangements with UK but if you aren't, you'll need specialist travel insurance.

I totally understand your desperation but if you can do it in the UK on a payment plan/0% credit card I'd do that. I really only did it abroad as I had family there.

I'm not overweight. I'm 5'2 and weigh 58.4kg (just weighed right now) and my breasts are 1/8 of that - I have a lot of muscle because I was very active as a child/teen but I'm losing my ability to do a lot of exercises now. I am able to do certain exercises but I struggle with anything that requires being on my back or front, I struggle with anything that involves arm movement because the breasts get in the way of that (because they stick so far out from my frame), I can't do anything high impact at all. I even struggle with ball games because they get in the way of catching and restrict me moving my arms normally to throw.

I haven't heard of Rigby and Peller - I'll look into them, thank you.

OP there's a thread in S&B about just this. Look at getting a reduction abroad if you can. I had mine done in Poland for around £2500. I know it's a lot but it's a hell of a lot cheaper than UK and my surgeon was excellent.

Honestly correctly fitting bras and core exercises will do fuck all. The op was life changing for me and should be seen as an investment rather than an extravagance

Sorry you are experiencing this. Going abroad for surgery is a risky option to be honest. Look around for a very reputable breast surgeon who works NHS and does private work and find out about spreading the cost. It sounds as if it would improve your life beyond all recognition and would be worth it.

the hassle of trying to insist the NHS funds this and all the inevitable delays mean you are wasting potentially good time. Sometimes we just need to get on with it ourselves. Looking into ways of funding this privately would be more productive I think.

Good luck.

I really feel for you OP. Big boobs are one thing, but when you're petite as well it's a nightmare.

Hopefully with the recent changes a reduction is more likely, or you can save for one. In the meantime, I have larger boobs and noticed once I started lifting weights more seriously that I went down 2 cup sizes. Granted, I was never bigger than a GG and it was over about a year but I did feel like they looked smaller too and it did help my back so could be useful for you to know.

@zaramysaviour did you go to Wroclaw? That's where I went and was very happy.

How annoying of the posters who are completely ignoring what you're saying and your lived experience to jump in with their own assumptions.

However if it is affecting you this much I think you need to start seriously planning to fund surgery yourself. I don't think going abroad is "risky" per se as long as you research it correctly - it's a bit "British exceptionalism" to assume that doctors and hospitals in other countries aren't every bit as good as ours (they are often better!). I don't know anyone whose gone abroad for breast reduction but know people who have done it for dental and fertility issues and their experience has been miles better than their treatment in the uk. Looking online it seems some places do it for as little as 2-3 grand which when you think of your quality of life must be worth it.

Would it be helpful to start a specific thread on here, and maybe a few other popular female focused forums asking for anyone who has had breast reduction surgery abroad? Other than that just spend a while researching the different options - again it's not the same but it's what I did when deciding about laser eye surgery.

Alternatively, do you know if it is funded on the NHS in other areas fairly local to you? It would obviously depend on your living circumstances, work etc - obviously it's not proportionate to uproot your whole life and move to Scotland from Cornwall, but if you found that the neighbouring trust does offer it when your current one doesn't, and by moving 10 minutes away you'd be fall within that area rather than your current one, if you were renting and could move fairly easily, would it be worth it? I honestly don't know enough about how different areas decide on what treatment should/nt be funded on the NHS so this might not be practical.

No, I was thinking of Wroclaw but didn't go there (can't remember the name of the town now but it was in the northwest not far from Berlin). I wish I'd gone to Wroclaw as it would have been a nicer place to recover in!

I understand OP. My boobs were a G by the time I was 13. I'm severely overweight at the moment but the second I'm down to a size I like, I'm getting a breast reduction. My back and shoulders are fucked and I've only ever found one bra that has worked for me. Keep pushing the NHS and definitely try loans etc to go private. Good luck and I'm so sorry, it's so, so, so shit.

Oh and I'm 5ft so I really do get it! I second trying to move healthboards if you can.

Just a thought, FYI as much as it grates me to say it if you can pay to get it done quickly as others are suggesting, you can ring your local hospital & ask for "Private Medical" (which is basically NHS queue jumping) it's much cheaper than private. It might be on your hospital website too.

@vivainsomnia

I'm
Also a34 band but I'm a 14-16 - dress size depends on hips, waste and thighs too

So did my cousin. Don’t stop until the GP listens

I had the op years ago and another different procedure recently, they always have payment schemes as nobody wants to pay the whole lot at once. Its worth looking round some private hospitals. I always choose a private hospital attached to a centre of excellence like East Grinstead Queen Victoria because then you'll get a good surgeon and the prices are better.

sorry OP, it sounds so frustrating & unbearable!

lots of others have posted good advice on trying to get your reduction...in the meantime have you tried the BoB (boob or bust) facebook page for help getting a better/different-fitting bra (not the solution i know, but might provide some relief temporarily?!). They provide amazing tips, an alternative way of measuring, fit-checks, have lists of stockists which offer a wider range of sizes etc etc

best of luck

I'm only half-joking but can you say you are transgender? They would be falling over themselves to help you then.

I have (had) large breasts on a very small frame and it is as you say it is every day.

Like immediate PP I was going to say identify as non-binary or similar and having breasts of such a size is incompatible with your identity.
Desperate times call for desperate measures after all.

Also if your breasts keep growing OP I'd be requesting an edocrinology referral. Otherwise after a reduction you'll just be back to square one.

I agree that you need to get to the bottom of why they are still growing. A friend of mine had a reduction, and hers grew back. She is very slight of build everywhere else.