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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feeling sick at how much I’m spending on kids party

328 replies

Mum5432 · 05/07/2022 04:31

Can’t really talk to anyone in RL as they will think I’m really tight with money or stupid.

I’m having my first ever party for my son who is primary school age. I looked into lots of options like hiring a hall etc. but it was too much headache as I would have to source the food, entertainment etc. myself and I just don’t have time.

So I booked softplay as I don’t need to worry about anything they will provide everything. I worded the invite very carefully to explain the party will be for named child only and not siblings so that bit is sorted.

but I’m getting really worried about the spiralling costs as I didn’t factor in that my son and his younger siblings count in the list too so it’s £25 EACH just for birthday boy and his brothers and sisters! I’ve also had to invite cousins from both sides as we get invited every year. I’ve also let few close friends bring their younger children as they have no childcare so that’s another £25 for 4 siblings = £100!

I’m really worried as when I planned this with DH I budgeted 6-8 kids from school. Didn’t realise my kids would also have to pay. Plus I have to pay for the adult entry. How the hell do people afford this! The play centre is booked every weekend. There was a cancellation so I managed to grab a spot on DS actual birthday date. It’s ridiculous. Not sure what I’m looking for from this thread.

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock1 · 05/07/2022 12:21

She says she's in Ireland so that would be €25 not £. But still works out at £21.41 British
Still way overpriced for a soft play party.

I live in Dublin City centre within a stone through from the financial district, the air is expensive to breath.

I've never paid more than €14 for a soft play party.

SBAM · 05/07/2022 12:22

I think some areas just are more expensive for parties.
I’ve been planning a party and the halls here (West Essex) are from about £40 an hour. Entertainers are upwards of £150 for an hour. A bouncy castle is £100 ish. Face painter is £140 for two hours. A nearby big softplay place does parties for around £20 per child, non-exclusive hire.
A local activity party company does parties for £350, not including food or party bags.
The local softplay cafe which is popular for pre-schoolers birthdays (small one, suitable for kids up to 8 I’d guess) is £220 plus £5 per child for 2hrs exclusive hire and cold party buffet. Adults are free.

Unless you’re hosting at home it’s likely a full class party which seems to be the standard for nursery and reception year kids here will cost £300 or more.

RainCoffeeBook · 05/07/2022 12:23

Mum5432 · 05/07/2022 04:55

I can’t cancel so will be going ahead. There’s no time to organise anything else. Gosh if I had invited the whole class it would have been at least £750! Not taking into account the cousins, adult every and others so I’d be looking close to £1000! How do people afford this. Yes the play centre will be closed for all others - it’s exclusive hire. It’s £5 per adult too.

It's not like that everywhere. I've done a bowling party and a science party for the whole class, so about 20-25, for £180 each time. I don't know how you've ended up at 25 a head.

And say no to siblings and chancers.

rookiemere · 05/07/2022 12:25

Mum5432 · 05/07/2022 04:55

I can’t cancel so will be going ahead. There’s no time to organise anything else. Gosh if I had invited the whole class it would have been at least £750! Not taking into account the cousins, adult every and others so I’d be looking close to £1000! How do people afford this. Yes the play centre will be closed for all others - it’s exclusive hire. It’s £5 per adult too.

Gosh I missed this post.
Ok OP you can't cancel, but go back to those wanting to bring siblings and explain you hadn't realised there was an additional cost per child and adult, so could they drop their DC off instead.

Also speak to the venue about the cost. They may just shrug their shoulders but if they're prepared to cap it or drop adults costs then that would be something.

I totally get the not wanting to organise the party yourself. I always had soft play parties, but it was never that expensive and nobody expected me to cover the cost of siblings.

DockOTheBay · 05/07/2022 12:51

we charge £400 for exclusive hire but you can bring 30 kids. I don't shut to the public for it though if it's open to the public, it's not exclusive hire!

SouperNoodle · 05/07/2022 13:17

@DasGirl I did all 3 because how are 40 kids going to fit on one bouncy castle?

BobbinHood · 05/07/2022 13:18

SurfBox · 05/07/2022 11:11

While I agree it’s a ridiculous amount to spend, not everyone has a garden or a spring/summer birthday, it’s a nonsense to suggest that’s an option for everyone. My DD’s birthday is in the winter and our garden is small. She is never going to have a birthday party in the garden. There is nothing unreasonable about hiring a hall

my point was more that it's ridiculous for any child to have 40 kids at a birthday in the 1st place and then to complain about the cost is even more absurd. Also of course not everybody has a garden but in that case take kids over and watch a film or go to mcdonalds. And if you are taking so many kids that you can't fit them into your living room then that's what you are doing wrong. How many friends can 1 child have?

I have a 4 year old. I can’t fit her friends and one parent for each of them and her cousins in my living room. I’m not “doing it wrong”, she had a great party at a local gymnastics centre with about 25 kids and their parents and I didn’t have to clean, cook, decorate or tidy up. It was about £200 and frankly I’d pay that so I didn’t have to take a group of small children to McDonalds or the cinema or have them all in my house. To me, £1000 is ridiculous. £25 a head is ridiculous. But we don’t have to engage in a kind of inverse snobbery where anything more than a biscuit in a garden for a maximum of 5 children suggests you think you’re the Beckhams.

Annoyingkidstv · 05/07/2022 13:29

Did you hire the out of hours, exclusive use soft play package? Why? Of course it’s going to be much more expensive. Generally during opening hours soft play parties are around £11/child here

Somethingneedstochange · 05/07/2022 13:30

So you charge for exclusive hire but open to the public. Then it's not exclusive hire is it.!

Annoyingkidstv · 05/07/2022 13:34

Mum5432 · 05/07/2022 04:55

I can’t cancel so will be going ahead. There’s no time to organise anything else. Gosh if I had invited the whole class it would have been at least £750! Not taking into account the cousins, adult every and others so I’d be looking close to £1000! How do people afford this. Yes the play centre will be closed for all others - it’s exclusive hire. It’s £5 per adult too.

If you’re hiring the place for your own private use then of course it’s going to be ridiculously expensive. The venue can’t make money from other paying customers during this time.

Personally I’d ring venue and either beg for another slot during normal opening hours to considerably cut the cost, or beg all/any local halls for a time slot at the same date&time, and text all parents with a change of venue asap

APurpleSquirrel · 05/07/2022 13:38

That's a crazy price!
I did a soft play whole class party for DD last September, it was exclusive use of the entire place for two hours, hot food included, no charge for adults & cost £260 for a minimum of 25 children. They would have provided a cake, but I like making my own.

glamourousindierockandroll · 05/07/2022 13:51

That price is extortionate.

I had a Reception party for the whole class at the weekend. I've just paid around £300 for 2 hours private hire, up to max 30 children and a hot buffet.

woodhill · 05/07/2022 13:58

£25 each is ridiculous

No cousins or siblings of his friends

I would cancel and book a hall

woodhill · 05/07/2022 13:58

Or party in the park

rookiemere · 05/07/2022 14:01

@woodhill read the OPs updates, she can't cancel.

UndertheCedartree · 05/07/2022 14:07

Mum5432 · 05/07/2022 04:55

I can’t cancel so will be going ahead. There’s no time to organise anything else. Gosh if I had invited the whole class it would have been at least £750! Not taking into account the cousins, adult every and others so I’d be looking close to £1000! How do people afford this. Yes the play centre will be closed for all others - it’s exclusive hire. It’s £5 per adult too.

That is so expensive! At our local soft play you just pay a set amount for hire (about £300) and then you can have as many DC as you like.

woodhill · 05/07/2022 14:08

I did see that thanks but there wasn't a reason given so thought there may be a way round it

Maybe a deposit has been paid

passport123 · 05/07/2022 14:18

Tell the parents of the siblings that you can't afford to pay for them to come and you're happy for the child to be dropped off, or they can pay the sibling entry. I think you were a bit naive not to expect to pay for your child .Will they really close the whole place for 6-8 entry fees? that's unusual.

Annoyingkidstv · 05/07/2022 14:23

This price is insane. I’d be very tempted to phone venue and apologetically state birthday child struck down with illness…

Crunchingleaf · 05/07/2022 14:25

EmeraldShamrock1 · 05/07/2022 12:21

She says she's in Ireland so that would be €25 not £. But still works out at £21.41 British
Still way overpriced for a soft play party.

I live in Dublin City centre within a stone through from the financial district, the air is expensive to breath.

I've never paid more than €14 for a soft play party.

I used to live in South Dublin and threw many a birthday in soft play, trampoline park etc and never paid anything close to €25.

It might be too late to cancel this year but there is definitely way cheaper alternatives out there.

bridgetreilly · 05/07/2022 14:30

I think you were a bit ridiculous to assume that your own children would go free! I would definitely say to people bringing non-invited children that they will have to pay for them.

Needmorelego · 05/07/2022 14:31

Why can't you cancel @Mum5432 @Mum5432 ?
Is it because you will lose the money or because you said "it's too late to organise anything else"?
If you can cancel it - cancel it.
The few times my daughter went to these types of parties half the kids didn't seem to be enjoying it. It's just a lot of running around and screaming, kids crying, kids falling out with each other etc.
Urgh.
It might be a shock to 21st century parents but children do still like a small gathering with pass the parcel, pin the tale on the donkey, musical statues and (parents favourite) sleeping lions.
Cancel the whole ridiculous thing.

rookiemere · 05/07/2022 14:40

That's strange @Needmorelego , the parties we organised for DS at soft play the majority of DCs seemed to have a whale of a time.
Wouldn't have paid £25 a head + £5 per adult + £25 per sibling though

RidingMyBike · 05/07/2022 14:41

I priced up a church hall party and soft play party for DD's 4th birthday and soft play was much cheaper/easier. For the hall we'd have had to pay for about 4 hours' hire to allow for setting up and clearing away, bouncy castle or entertainer plus we had no family to help with running it - the hall parties only seem to work if you have someone in the kitchen dealing with food and drink etc.

The soft play was £10 each for up to 10 kids, with food either provided by us or £4 ph. The soft play was open to the public, we just had a separate party room for the eating and cake part. So it was about £150 including the cake. I only did v basic party bags.

The soft play party we went to the other week was £15 ph but adults weren't charged admission, and the party cost included large jugs of tea and coffee for the adults. It was still open to the public so people could pay separately for siblings or more food.

SurfBox · 05/07/2022 14:42

*it’s ridiculous isn’t it ?

We will be throwing my son his first birthday part next year when he turns 4. I’ve already started looking at prices and it’s going to cost £400 for an all inclusive soft play package for 20 kids . £8 for every extra kid . that includes burger , fries , icecream , soft play entry , decorations, a helium balloons for each kid and party bags . Doesn’t include the cake . 1 hour and 45 minutes*

yea ridiculous you'd go to these lengths for a 4 year old's birthday;how many of those 20 kids does he really even know? I'd understand if it was his 18th.