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Original poster

Feeling sick at how much I’m spending on kids party

328 replies

Mum5432 · 05/07/2022 04:31

Can’t really talk to anyone in RL as they will think I’m really tight with money or stupid.

I’m having my first ever party for my son who is primary school age. I looked into lots of options like hiring a hall etc. but it was too much headache as I would have to source the food, entertainment etc. myself and I just don’t have time.

So I booked softplay as I don’t need to worry about anything they will provide everything. I worded the invite very carefully to explain the party will be for named child only and not siblings so that bit is sorted.

but I’m getting really worried about the spiralling costs as I didn’t factor in that my son and his younger siblings count in the list too so it’s £25 EACH just for birthday boy and his brothers and sisters! I’ve also had to invite cousins from both sides as we get invited every year. I’ve also let few close friends bring their younger children as they have no childcare so that’s another £25 for 4 siblings = £100!

I’m really worried as when I planned this with DH I budgeted 6-8 kids from school. Didn’t realise my kids would also have to pay. Plus I have to pay for the adult entry. How the hell do people afford this! The play centre is booked every weekend. There was a cancellation so I managed to grab a spot on DS actual birthday date. It’s ridiculous. Not sure what I’m looking for from this thread.

OP posts:
gunnersgold · 05/07/2022 09:10

Why are you paying for younger children? That isn't the norm , they stay with the other parent or pay themselves surely?
The party is for your child and his friends ! People find a way to get that one child there or they don't come! You can always drive a few on their own !

SleepSleepRaveAsleep · 05/07/2022 09:15

If you can't afford it don't do it. It's £450 at our play centre for a party, that's just the play centre and food for about 90 min. The kids in my children's classes usually hire a couple of Disney characters and a party entertainer oh and one even paid for food and drink for all the adults on a tab too. I dread to think what they spent. Another parent paid to take the entire class and their families on a day out to a theme park, even transport there too. I won't try and compete I don't want to spend £800 on a 5 year olds party besides!

Cancel the party and do a back garden party instead, if you have space hire a bouncy castle, buy some decorations, makes some sandwiches and make your own fun. A bit more faff but you won't be spending silly money.

SurfBox · 05/07/2022 09:17

My mates are broke and have a party every year for their son, they just buy aload of cheap food in Iceland which does the job and have a spread at home;it's a kids birthday ffs. That's all you need.

Luredbyapomegranate · 05/07/2022 09:17

Say everyone has come down w covid 5 days before and cancel / or just cancel.

It’s crazy spending money you don’t have on a kids party.

look for someone you can join up w next year and so it at home

TheTerfTavern · 05/07/2022 09:17

Our soft play parties have always been £12-15 per head

I used to rolL my eyes a bit to be honest

if he’s young. Just hure
a bouncy castle for £40 and make some sandwiches and a trifle

SirVixofVixHall · 05/07/2022 09:21

i am really shocked at £25 a head !! Do your friends bringing a sibling too know that you will be paying at least £55 then for their family group ? £80 if they are bringing two siblings ?
I did parties in my house, or hired the Church hall, made food and organised games. Primary school children are normally really happy with this. They love the games and they enjoy the party food. I did party bags. Still the whole thing cost £100 or less.

SheepingStandingUp · 05/07/2022 09:21

Why did you think you wouldn't have to pay for your own kids?

The secret is to have a party there not exclusive use then say if you need to bring siblings you can just pay for them on the door but they can't come in for party food.

RightOnTheEdge · 05/07/2022 09:24

That is very expensive! My local soft play is £10 per child with a minimum of 10 children.
Adults are free and they provide a pot of tea and coffee.

It is not normal for you to pay for siblings. Every party I've been to the parents have to pay if they bring extra siblings.

SurfBox · 05/07/2022 09:25

Once my DC started school we stopped inviting cousins to birthday parties, there’s too many of them! They did the same too, school friends only

That only works based on the family dynamics though. Was fine in our family as I wasn't close to 1st cousins even of my own age due to distance etc. Even many of my 1st cousins who got married I never was invited to their weddings and it caused no offense as we were never close so why should I be invited?

Other families are much more close knit though so it would cause ww3 if a cousin wasn't invited and I've seen threads on mn over this.

SurfBox · 05/07/2022 09:28

It’s crazy spending money you don’t have on a kids party

it's just as crazy spending big money even if you do have it. It's a kid's party ffs and some of the costs I see on mn is just absurd. I'm only 36 and recall many great birthday parties where we'd watch a dvd, get sweets, play outside etc....nothing that broke the bank. I also find it absurd people invite the whole class.

I think people here think they are the Beckhams.

Rosehugger · 05/07/2022 09:29

At soft play IME people will bring siblings but expect to pay for them at the door, get food for them and sit separately. That's the joy of a soft play party, all chidlren are at least entertained even if they aren't party guests.

Rosehugger · 05/07/2022 09:32

One party that someone did that the kids enjoyed and was casual and cheap was for everyone to just meet for a picnic at the park. Everyone brings their own food (you'd need to make this clear) and the host brought a cake. The kids ran around like loons and really enjoyed themselves and the parents got to have a good natter.

LittleSockOfHorrors · 05/07/2022 09:32

Rosehugger · 05/07/2022 09:29

At soft play IME people will bring siblings but expect to pay for them at the door, get food for them and sit separately. That's the joy of a soft play party, all chidlren are at least entertained even if they aren't party guests.

This might not work when it's exclusive hire though. They might not do separate food as it's technically 'closed'

WillYouDoTheFandango · 05/07/2022 09:33

Pre Covid a local play centre did 20 kids for £20 mid week after school. Every soft play party I’ve been to has been one of those. I can’t believe yours charges £25 a head. That’s insane.

KosherDill · 05/07/2022 09:41

SurfBox · 05/07/2022 09:28

It’s crazy spending money you don’t have on a kids party

it's just as crazy spending big money even if you do have it. It's a kid's party ffs and some of the costs I see on mn is just absurd. I'm only 36 and recall many great birthday parties where we'd watch a dvd, get sweets, play outside etc....nothing that broke the bank. I also find it absurd people invite the whole class.

I think people here think they are the Beckhams.

I find it bizarre also. We had grandparents over for something of child 's choice like pancakes for tea, or maybe a few kids after school for cake and a couple of simple games.

These grand expensive productions for a routine child's birthday are Hmm

MarvelMrs · 05/07/2022 09:49

Honestly just chalk it up as a live and learn for the next birthday and ENJOY this party with your DS. Just enjoy the day and seeing his happy face. Put the cost out your head now and celebrate in style. Otherwise it really will be a waste.

SouperNoodle · 05/07/2022 09:49

DD1's party was in a hall with bouncy castle and soft play, entertainer and a buffet. I had a few decorations and balloons and a Costco cake and some party bags. There were about 40 children.
I did it all myself and it cost near £1k. It's absolutely shocking how expensive parties can be these days.
I've sworn I'm never doing that again.

Doorsdoyle · 05/07/2022 09:50

For my child's birthday this year I spent 500 euro (in Ireland). About 300 euro for 13 kids to do activities and food at an adventure centre. Party bags and Sundries then added up, plus her gifts too. Going to see if I can get away with less kids next year - might put a ceiling of 10 or so. Definitely would not accept any younger siblings. Tbh I think the sibling stuff happens less where I live because everyone knows how much the parties cost and no one wants to be a cf.

SurfBox · 05/07/2022 09:51

*I find it bizarre also. We had grandparents over for something of child 's choice like pancakes for tea, or maybe a few kids after school for cake and a couple of simple games.

These grand expensive productions for a routine child's birthday are*

I recall working with a man in 2003-almost 20 years ago so consider inflation. He told me he had spend 2000 euro on his three kids Santa presents. The oldest child was 3!!
The fact that those kids won't even remember it is just the tip of the iceberg...

Justabitfedup12345 · 05/07/2022 09:51

Ah bless you - I would definitely take heed of others advice and try to back pedal on the siblings. Also - £25 per head for a soft play party does seem rather expensive. With that sort of cost there are literally tons of other things you could actually do! Or could you perhaps cancel and just book in at the soft play as a normal visitor? Surely entry plus buying one of their kids meals would work out cheaper, hand out party bags at the end?

At worst case, say soft play have double booked and you’ve had to cancel and just have a small party at home - party games, snacks - so much cheaper and state actual time for collection of kids.

SurfBox · 05/07/2022 09:55

There were about 40 children.
I did it all myself and it cost near £1k. It's absolutely shocking how expensive parties can be these days

more shocking you'd invite 40 kids to a child's birthday, what were you expecting to pay with 40 kids?? And if you had a garden yourself you could have hired a bouncy castle and done a cheap spread from iceland-all for much less than 1000 euro.

tealandteal · 05/07/2022 09:59

£25 seems a lot per head? Plus paying for adults?! We have DS party this month, it will be around £250 for the whole class, exclusive use of the venue. We’ll need to supply party bag stuff on top.

DasGirl · 05/07/2022 10:01

SouperNoodle · 05/07/2022 09:49

DD1's party was in a hall with bouncy castle and soft play, entertainer and a buffet. I had a few decorations and balloons and a Costco cake and some party bags. There were about 40 children.
I did it all myself and it cost near £1k. It's absolutely shocking how expensive parties can be these days.
I've sworn I'm never doing that again.

Most people would do a bouncy castle or soft play or an entertainer.
No wonder it was so expensiveHmm

SailingNotSurfing · 05/07/2022 10:03

This is why my DC had old school parties at home with pass the parcel and musical chairs, I have 4 and the costs of an outside event would have been way beyond our means.

StarDolphins · 05/07/2022 10:05

my DD is 6 this month & this is 100% her last party - £450 & I’m not putting decs up AND doing the food myself😡 absolutely ridiculous just for 2 hours.