Feeling sick at how much I’m spending on kids party

[Mum5432]

Can’t really talk to anyone in RL as they will think I’m really tight with money or stupid.

I’m having my first ever party for my son who is primary school age. I looked into lots of options like hiring a hall etc. but it was too much headache as I would have to source the food, entertainment etc. myself and I just don’t have time.

So I booked softplay as I don’t need to worry about anything they will provide everything. I worded the invite very carefully to explain the party will be for named child only and not siblings so that bit is sorted.

but I’m getting really worried about the spiralling costs as I didn’t factor in that my son and his younger siblings count in the list too so it’s £25 EACH just for birthday boy and his brothers and sisters! I’ve also had to invite cousins from both sides as we get invited every year. I’ve also let few close friends bring their younger children as they have no childcare so that’s another £25 for 4 siblings = £100!

I’m really worried as when I planned this with DH I budgeted 6-8 kids from school. Didn’t realise my kids would also have to pay. Plus I have to pay for the adult entry. How the hell do people afford this! The play centre is booked every weekend. There was a cancellation so I managed to grab a spot on DS actual birthday date. It’s ridiculous. Not sure what I’m looking for from this thread.

I’ve also let few close friends bring their younger children as they have no childcare so that’s another £25 for 4 siblings = £100!

How do they know they won't have child care yet? Why can't they just drop the invited one off at the party?

Why would you pay for private hire that's insane! Just pay the usual £5 a head entry fee when it's open to everyone and then they usually have a party room. No way would I pay £25 per head! How old are they? I'd say age 6 is probably the limit for soft play

In my village it has become a bit of a trend to do rounders in the park, and/or water pistol fights, followed by a big picnic . Winter options include sleepover party with a few of their best mates. Or a movie.

so much cheaper

back to the 70s!

all these expensive outsourced parties are unnecessary really

That is very expensive for a soft play. Our local ones do parties for about £15 a head including food and party bags. Is it quite a large one? We do have a larger chain one which costs more. I would seriously consider cancelling and thinking again. Or telling your friends no siblings unless they pay.

You find a cheaper softplay.

My DC's was £380 for 28 children including food.

Whatever softplay youre looking at needs a downgrade.

Charge for siblings, they shouldn't be your cost. Apart from family, we also didn't pay for any extra adults. Are you sure the £5 isn't additional adults only? Were there any cheaper food / decoration options? £30 is an awful lot per child for soft play, I'd want the whole afternoon and a party bag included for that!!

It sounds like you can't change it now, so apart from dealing with sibling and adult numbers I'm not sure what you want from the thread?

If it is exclusive hire then that is the problem! They need to make it worth while shutting to the public and making sure they don't make a loss.
Could you not have a normal party that isn't exclusive?
I run a similar business and we charge £400 for exclusive hire but you can bring 30 kids. I don't shut to the public for it though or I'd have to change at least double for it to be worthwhile.

Just cancel. This is daylight robbery. No one will care. Party at your house it in the park. Games, party bags etc and everyone will have a blast.

That’s expensive for soft play. I just did a more expensive activity party that was less per head.

Even our local farm park would do a party for 3 hours for £15 a head including food and entry.

My dd recently had a party at laser quest. I thought £17.95 per head was a lot!!!

How do they work £25 out? I've not been to soft play for years and obviously it depends where you live but say £7 entry and £8 food and drinks. What is the extra £10 for?

We did an expensive activity party for DD a while ago and costs really spiralled like this. Then this weekend we did a simple at-home, games and party food party for DS. It was way more fun and more relaxed than the expensive activity.

That seems very expensive. Ours was £10 a head plus flat fee of £150 for exclusive use. Adults charged at a nominal rate. I remember it wasn't a cheap option, I enquired at other venues charging less. Is there another soft play you could try, maybe a smaller one?

That is a crazy price. I held a party at a soft play a month ago for 20 kids and it cost £250 and included all food, play and party games. Can you find an alternative venue that's better value?

Sorry, I missed it was private hire. Even so, the one we used was £300 (possibly a bit less actually) for 2 hours private use, with food and party bags. No adult cost.

The costs spiral out of control though at £25 per child I'm not surprised it is breaking the budget.

I pay 12/15 maximum with limited DC.

Can you stick with the soft play option but just book it as a normal party option and not hire out exclusively? This should half your cost at least.

This. Talk to the venue about your options.

Do your friends know you're paying £25 for each of their other children? I'd be mortified if I took an uninvited child to a party and found out they were so expensive and that the host had paid. You need to tell your friends.

Next year, opt for a small business like me. I'm a one-woman band, running woodland parties in the local woods, so all parents need to do is bring their child and a cake. I give them invites to send out, set up the whole site, plan and run all the activities, provide party boxes and tidy up at the end. All for less than £200 for 10 kids! Looking for people that do things like this in your local area will support a small business, take some of the stress from you and means you can keep costs down.

But for this party, I would definitely not pay for uninvited siblings! It's really cheeky of your friends - they could hire a babysitter for probably half the amount you're paying for them to attend soft play.

I agree with others, that is an expensive soft play. I paid about £9.50 per child about 8 years ago and it was private use but included food and face painter but there were about 15 kids so it was worthwhile for the Wacky Warehouse.

Parents were free and most saw it as an opportunity for a catch up and spent a fortune on coffees! Unlike on MN very very few parents brought siblings, ones with other kids either just dropped off or got another parent to bring their child (apart from one dad who brought two older siblings, paid for them and made them sit in the corner doing their homework! I felt sorry for them and gave them cake).

Don't know what to suggest TBH.

Speak to the manager about a reduced cost per child.

If they refuse the request, cancel.

That is mental! Tell the hangers on you’re not paying for their kids! Don’t get into debt for cheeky fuckers!

Gosh that is a crazy expensive soft play! DS has had soft play parties the last few years and they haven’t cost more than £250 for a full class party! His last one was under £7 per child which included food. No charge for adults.

Jesus Christ. My kids went to a soft play party a few weeks ago. I had no idea it cost that much. I actually feel mortified.

Can you book a mini bouncy castle for your garden and just do old fashioned games - pass the parcel, musical chairs, dead ,ions, treasure hunt etc.

You don't need to explain to people - just say: plans have changed. Party at home, same date and time. Drop off or adults are welcome to stay. Coffee and cake provided.

There are much cheaper ways of doing this OP.

i have recently paid £15 per child to do trampoline and soft play. It isn’t exclusive hire, but I don’t think that’s important. Don’t need to pay for adults and parents can pay for siblings if they choose to bring them. I also picked a between lunch and dinner time so no need for food. It isn’t great food anyway. I got a round of teas and coffees in for the adults. Nice cake from waitrose, sweetie cone party bags. Total cost for 15 children was around £300.
my other child’s party was a joint exclusive soft play. I think that cost me £250.

Just go ahead with it, get it done, your kid will have a nice party. Then just learn from it. Hopefully people will bring your child some nice presents and this will make up for the massive outlay. Kids parties can be a fucking nightmare!

next year, you can cut the cost per child by doing cake at home for the siblings and cousins and then just do something for a party on a pay per child basis with the birthday child and handful of school friends.