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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Feeling sick at how much I’m spending on kids party

328 replies

Mum5432 · 05/07/2022 04:31

Can’t really talk to anyone in RL as they will think I’m really tight with money or stupid.

I’m having my first ever party for my son who is primary school age. I looked into lots of options like hiring a hall etc. but it was too much headache as I would have to source the food, entertainment etc. myself and I just don’t have time.

So I booked softplay as I don’t need to worry about anything they will provide everything. I worded the invite very carefully to explain the party will be for named child only and not siblings so that bit is sorted.

but I’m getting really worried about the spiralling costs as I didn’t factor in that my son and his younger siblings count in the list too so it’s £25 EACH just for birthday boy and his brothers and sisters! I’ve also had to invite cousins from both sides as we get invited every year. I’ve also let few close friends bring their younger children as they have no childcare so that’s another £25 for 4 siblings = £100!

I’m really worried as when I planned this with DH I budgeted 6-8 kids from school. Didn’t realise my kids would also have to pay. Plus I have to pay for the adult entry. How the hell do people afford this! The play centre is booked every weekend. There was a cancellation so I managed to grab a spot on DS actual birthday date. It’s ridiculous. Not sure what I’m looking for from this thread.

OP posts:

1AngelicFruitCake · 05/07/2022 07:04

Well you’ve got exclusive use so that’s expensive, cheaper to have hire whilst open to public. I would say to friends they can bring siblings but they’ll have to pay them in and ask play centre to get payment when they come. Cheeky of them to assume!!

1AngelicFruitCake · 05/07/2022 07:06

£25 each is madness!

Dinoteeth · 05/07/2022 07:06

Op is there an option not to have it exclusive?
I think you are paying a hefty premium for the 'exclusive' bit.

onelittlefrog · 05/07/2022 07:06

£25 is a lot for soft play.

But, of course you'd have to pay for your own children, why would they get it for free? Places like that don't tend to do 'birthday child free' - not sure why you'd assume that.

People won't expect you to pay for siblings. Just say they have to be paid for by their parents. i.e. Only invited children are paid for.

Svara · 05/07/2022 07:07

toomuchlaundry · 05/07/2022 06:47

Why aren’t they charging a flat rate for exclusive hire plus a bit extra for food?

Yes, this would make more sense to me. Also, will uninvited siblings have to pay £25 and will they have to book in advance? If parents don't know they may assume they can bring siblings and pay the normal entry fee as long as they aren't part of the party.

Moomoola · 05/07/2022 07:09

Gosh, I’m so mean! I had a few like yours then had parties in our house or at the park- soft ball or water gun fight, or balloon fight, donuts in strings, obstacle course and some hot dogs as pp said. The kids loved it just the same. Tbh as long as they get cake and a party bag they’re happy!
mind you, I’m with you when it’s just you organising and hosting, and clearing up!

Yodaisawally · 05/07/2022 07:09

I've just looked at our local one and it's £23 p/h at the weekend and they also charge adult entry.

Expectation should be that you pay for invited children only, adults drop off unless they want to pay for their own entry and siblings. Siblings who are paid for separately don't get in the 'party room' and don't eat the party food!

galvanizethis · 05/07/2022 07:11

I had a softplay party for my primary school aged child and it worked out really affordable at around £10 per head and lunch was included - parents were free.

I would find a way to move it to somewhere else if possible.

ladydoris · 05/07/2022 07:12

This is too expensive, a church hall and a bouncy castle would really bring your costs down. Shop around OP.

fabicelolly · 05/07/2022 07:14

Crazy money. Round here kids parties at a venue like soft play/trampolining/laser tag tends to be about £250 for a 2 hour party with 10-14 children, food included. Bring party bags and a cake and it’s about £300 in total.

I understand if you suffer from social anxiety how it would be hard to have a party at home or cancel/change plans, but really no one will think badly of you, and if anyone does they’re not worth your time anyway.

Do what’s right for you and enjoy the day knowing you’ve stayed true to yourself and your budget.

SallyWD · 05/07/2022 07:14

£25 each seems so expensive! Last time I did a soft play party it was just over £10 each which included food. Honestly, I'd cancel and arrange something else. Even just a party at home with take away pizza would be MUCH cheaper. These days my kids like trampoline or Laserzone parties which are around £15 per head. I'd never pay £25 per head.

maddening · 05/07/2022 07:15

£25 per kid is steep and needing to pay for adults is ridiculous, all play parties I have done have been an all inclusive fee for upto x amount of kids snd an additional for extra dc and add ons like a foam party etc. They generally worked out at £12 per child. And them I did my own cake and party bags.

But a village hall can be easy if they have a kitchen, I just did pizza for the tea, bought a load from the supermarket and cooked them on site, and then cup cakes and biscuits for pudding

Birthday cake, balloons and party bags.

Then a few games.

I also found the leisure centre was good as they did one with a bouncy castle.

Quartz2208 · 05/07/2022 07:16

I’ve also let few close friends bring their younger children as they have no childcare so that’s another £25 for 4 siblings = £100!

You message these parents and say that this is the cost for the siblings coming (you do not pay) or suggest that they ask if there is open soft play at the same time (so no party food) they can pay for.

Paying for this is ridiculous

What is the age - it is perfectly fine to drop off and say this but that there is also a cost for adults to stay

JMKid · 05/07/2022 07:17

Could you not make it cheaper by changing it so its not exclusive hire?? That would automatically bump up the price. How old are children? Can you say to parents not to stay? Don't pay for their siblings. Tell parents they have to incur the cost.

LittleSockOfHorrors · 05/07/2022 07:22

How do people afford this.

Most people don't! They have six guests like you originally planned or they book a place that's £150 for everyone not £25 a head plus adults on top!

You need to take control of the situation.

Tell the woman who is bringing her other children you can't pay. She is not going to think you are 'tight' as you put it. And if she does who cares! Why should you pay £75 for her children!

User0610134049 · 05/07/2022 07:24

You might find if you told them it would be £25 for sibling please then they would decline (totally fine) or suddenly have childcare

PinkButtercups · 05/07/2022 07:27

In our soft play you pay for adults to come in. Not sure why because you're not exactly going to leave them in there are you. It's a con.

But with the parties you can hire out the whole soft play for about £300. Even if you didn't want to do that the sorry rooms you don't pay for adults. At this point I'd probably just pay for them to do soft play and maybe a mcds!

PinkButtercups · 05/07/2022 07:27

Party* not sorry.

Hillary17 · 05/07/2022 07:29

Mistake you made is having it exclusive hire! I’m sure the kids would happily have played with others!

notanothertakeaway · 05/07/2022 07:29

Are they actually charging £25 per child?
Or is it a flat fee, which works out at £25 per head for the no of people you have invited?

If the latter, could you invite more people from school? It won't reduce the cost, but would feel like better value for money

Antarcticant · 05/07/2022 07:33

Can you talk to the venue to see if there's any way to bring the costs down - e.g. non-exclusive as pps have suggested; or could they just have use of the equipment/games without food being provided - then they could go back to yours for a cheap buffet meal (frozen stuff, crisps, cake from Iceland, say).

easyday · 05/07/2022 07:37

Ridiculous! The one near me (SW London) it starts at £10/child (depending on food choices I guess and level of supervision), adults entry free.
But why didn't you think you'd have to pay for your own kids? And anyone bringing a sibling should offer to pay for that sibling.

Prometheus · 05/07/2022 07:41

Your mistake is choosing exclusive hire. Usually if you just let them have a party booth with the place still open to the public it should be around £15 per head. You give the venue a list of the names of invitees and if a parent brings a sibling they have to pay for them at the entrance. Also strange that they charge for adults! That’s not the case in the places where I live.

comfortablyfrumpy · 05/07/2022 07:43

I would cancel and do something else.

I always used to hire the village hall. I would plan a craft activity and have some games. Could invite lots and it still never cost too much.

Threetulips · 05/07/2022 07:44

We never booked one of these parties based on cost.

Id rearrange - kids love the park with friends. Ring a bakery for food platters and get some juice and cups.

Even doing the food yourself is really cheap a few sandwich’s crisps and sausage rolls cost less than £30 for a party.

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