To think this is just utterly cringe? (pregnancy related)

[MrsAlwaysRight1]

So, I'm due a baby soon and am on a group on Peanut for women due the same month, it's a very active group.

The other day someone posted saying 'can anyone think what to add to my order of wishes? This is going to be going on all our social media platforms.'

It's a bloody image of rules that they want people to follow after the birth like 'No asking if I've gone into labour, No photos without permission, No sharing photos without permission, no holding baby without permission, no unannounced visits.' etc etc, it goes on and on.

Loads of other women then commented and 'shared theirs' for 'inspiration.'

I'm sorry but I'm just cringing, it just seems so utterly self-absorbed?! Literally no one cares, I can guarantee you my friends aren't sitting there giving my impending birth much thought, let alone frothing at the mouth to take and post photos etc. I already foresee there'll be a couple of family members who DH and I might have to keep at bay for a few days once we're out of hospital as they are the pushy type, but if the situation arises, I'll talk to them directly about it then. Can't imagine posting such cringe shite all over my FB and Insta.

AIB grumpy, heavily pregnant lady U?

Agree OP, extremely self-absorbed. I mean, who actually cares other than the parents and the immediate family? I wouldn’t even expect the immediate family to care that much, they’ve got their own shit going on.

Probably their families cared though 🙄

Ughhh I would read this rubbish things for entertainment but I cannot stand these self absorbed women who think the world is all about them. Just get on with it! You’re not that special!

Exactly what I was about to say @FriendlyPineapple, you really don’t know how you will feel and how things will pan out, especially the first time. If her rigid rules extend to how she will be as a mother and how her baby will behave then she’s really in trouble because babies don’t do as they’re told even if everyone else does comply with her commandments. She’ll find out soon enough …

None of the requests/rules seem unreasonable, as they are only things that twats do without asking anyway. But I would not have posted a list like that, I guess I am lucky not to know many people who would turn up unannounced etc.

Thing is most people aren’t that interested though. Other peoples pregnancies and babies are mostly very boring and often highly triggering. In my experience: After a certain age either you have babies of your own, in which case your gushing over babies cup is generally quite full and you don’t have that much time for someone else’s ; or you don’t yet have babies but want them, and seeing someone else have the thing you want for your own life but don’t have can be at best slightly anxiety inducing and at worst incredibly painful ; or you don’t have babies and don’t want them in which case watching your friends go through it all is just an endless reminder you are not on the same conveyer belt as everyone else and you are about to lose another friend to the relentlessly busy and self absorbed land of motherhood . Grandparents are typically excited but they come in two types in my experience: those who are involved and end up being helpful and useful, and those who get bored fairly quickly and mostly like to post nice photos on social media.

They're also the type to throw a tantrum when they don't get enough attention because no one can be arsed with them.

That list is nuts.

But to alleviate your concern.. yes it is possible! I had my first last year and aside from everyone being a bit more careful before Christmas (so as not to catch covid and therefore have to isolate) no one was like that so please don't worry!

YANBU pg with my first and due soon too. People like that need to get a grip and a reality check.

some people are unbelievably self absorbed
BUT it is helpful pre birth to think about boundaries of what you want/ what is acceptable for you and baby.
i hated people with unwashed hands touching my baby.
i also hated feeding him with others around as my first was an extremely distracted baby.
I wish I had got a few of these things clearer in my head before I had him.
But posting it on social media is weird.

If it’s mostly a group for ftms then it is mostly a hormonal nesting thing.

Once they have had a baby for a whole week they won’t know which way is up and all their preconceived notions will have changed.

I think all ftms should be treated with gentle kindness and a pint here of salt.

Let’s face it, most of the comments on this thread are scathing and cruel towards this woman. Is it deserved?

*pinch of salt

Personally I loved everyone knowing my due date and that feeling of people's interest in the baby's arrival, as nobody gives a shit about the mother once the baby has appeared and the baby is old news pretty quickly.

This made me chuckle! I agree it's so ridiculous. I can't stand this sort of thing and I find a lot of the stuff surrounding pregnancy very annoying (currently pregnant and probably grumpier than usual 😂)

Yes dreadful. Downside of social media everyone can share their horrible thoughts. They don't deserve anyone to be interested in their baby.

Mumzillas are the new bridezillas!!!

Personally I think it sounds bad shit crazy.

Congrats on your pregnancy. I won't even dare suggest that you little us know when the little on arrives - could be deemed horrifically inappropriate these days!!!!!

I've fibbed about my due date (said it's two weeks later than my actual due date) because my inlaws are nuts and will pester multiple times a day the couple of weeks before my due date.

I agree posting on social media is a bit much - given that the percentage of online friends that this will apply to will be tiny and her missive will just bore the rest - but empathise with the writer of the original post if her inlaws are anything like mine, over bearing with zero interest in behaving like normal reasonable people. I suspect that type of post is really aimed at one or two people - but she has broadcast it publicly so that the person who its really aimed at, doesn't get angry as they would had it been specifically sent to just them.

I have no clue how I'll wrangle my inlaws when the happy day arrives. I've bought some books on how to be assertive to try and grow a backbone. Mine really will be of no assistance at all and will just be in it for the social media posts. (They will blow a gasket when they realise we will be posting nothing online during the pregnancy and when bub arrives. (My partner's choice not mine, he's very private, but happy to do as he wishes as I'm not sure about plastering my childs face across social media companies)

Congratulations OP. I'm afraid these women sound batshit crazy. I would suggest distancing from them.
From personal experience, I found the most 'normal' mum friends were at baby groups where you were required to be most active like swimming groups. I had more in common with mums who didn't mind getting their hair wet or a bit grubby with craft stuff. You will find your tribe, just try different things.

I’ve seen a lot of this sort of
stuff recently and yeah it’s really cringe. it seem to be people have confused boundaries with being rude and arrogant.
I would tell them that most people aren’t that interested in their baby really and the ones that do will be put off by this..

They are MASSIVELY over estimating people's interest.

I think it's a bit like your birth plan - "I want everything to be calm, I;ll be surrounded by water and love and warmth". The reality is you're screaming for pethidene / entinox / an epidural.

Plan for the days immediately following the birth - "I want us to be in a warm cocoon of love and safety, we want to bond as a family". The reality is you are all sitting on the living room floor crying because no one has slept, all all you want is for someone nice to bring you a bacon roll. --and take the baby for a short walk-

Good God that's cringe.

I am either very lucky or a total billy no mates but not a single friend or family member got pushy about coming round immediately after the baby was born.

A few people did visit but they were all very respectful and made a big deal about not wanting to outstay their welcome/not expecting us to provide food etc.

I don’t know who these people are who behave in that way but they’re not in my circle!

I agree, utterly self-absorbed. It surprises me how many people are like this, not just about pregnancy/ their babies but about other things too.

I promise you there are loads of mums out there who don't go in for all this crap though. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy

🤢

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