"He eats meat, but can't eat any processed meat."

[Flangelica]

If someone said this to you when you asked about dietary requirements for a child, would you think they were massively w*nky/snobby, or is it socially acceptable and fine?

Yeah, I would probably think it was a bit PFB but would respect it.

I used to have a boy over who only ate bread and butter of a certain type, or a jam sandwich. His mother was really embarrassed but it was important he could still have playdates so we sucked it up!

Processed meat will contain chemicals and preservatives to which a child may well be allergic. I used to test processed meats in a lab. The amount of SO2 in sausages etc is startling.

Perhaps it's best to just claim they're veggie or make up an allergy than just say it's a preference then!

Don’t do that! From personal experience, it can limit you on the future.

I would need to know what it meant exactly and suggestions for what they would eat. We are beyond playdates now but while my kids had quite a healthy diet with most meals cooked from scratch my default playdate tea was sausage and chips, fishfingers and chips or pizza as most kids would eat those meals but would not necessarily eat home made curry, spag bol, or even jacket potatoes, even when parents claimed they would ( I have had to stick fishfingers on the grill a few times after child clearly wasn't going to eat the meal their parents had claimed they liked).

My DC have vegan and vegetarian friends, as well as a couple of other preferences. On playdates, I tend to do vegan food - pasta sauces, curry, chilli, whatever, just to keep it simple. I never object to making a plain bowl of pasta or some beans on toast or something, if a child wants something plain.

There's always fruit and salad for a bit of nutrition. I want children to feel welcome and happy when they're here, it's always worked out fine.

Some things sound wanky but really aren’t. For example I only drink “real” coffee because I get kidney stones and instant makes them form faster. It really really hurts to have a kidney stone so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Very sensible. Who wants a small child in their house feeling awkward and anxious because they don't want to eat the food?

Interesting!

What is it in the instant that you can't process?

Sorry for the derail

I'd do them a piece of chicken. A chicken thigh is no bother.

I prefer to know what people like if I'm giving them food rather than thinking they should eat whatever I choose. If I'm told in advance that's perfect. It's a bugger when you only find out once they arrive and you realise maybe you don't have something in that they like.

I genuinely don't understand all the fuss around food. Want cereal for dinner? Fine. Don't want peas touching your mash? 🤷. Want to live on chips? Well, unless you're my child and therefore it's my job to ensure you are adequately nourished then I don't give a shit. Have chips all the time and drown them in ketchup. I don't care.

This kid doesn't eat chicken nuggets or sausages or stuff? Fine. Bung a chicken drumstick in the oven.

This is why despite being a junk food eating carnivore I always stick to veggie foods for kids parties and play dates.

I know I'm reasonably safe giving kids cheesy pasta for dinner plus it's a pretty guaranteed hit amongst my daughters friends, unless they have a lactose or gluten allergy which you'd hope the parents would disclose.

No its not, that is not fair on people with real allergies, as they dont get taken seriously anymore

Ok jacket spuds it is then or pasta and tomato sauce or a plain pizza. Honestly this is a non issue.

Some people react badly to nitrates, and some Additives make children hyperactive. Maybe this parent knows their child reacts badly and is just letting you know in the easiest possible way

Mince isn't processed. It's minced.

My DS is like this - eats chilli, bolognese, mild curries and stews at home but won't touch them on playdates as they don't taste like the 'home' ones.

You lot roast a chicken for a playdate?!

I suspect they roasted the chicken last week and have had ten miles for a family of 8 so far out of it but so much left over that it may as well be used for the play date too.

Yes, and that way you'll know that you will have more than enough for everybody, no matter how people turn up, and you can have chicken sandwiches later and then do a curry the following day with the leftovers and make a delicious soup with the carcass.

TEN MEALS (not miles!)

I have a friend whose daughter is veggie away from home as they are pretty strict kosher and most people aren't set up to deal with it. She just says she's veggie to people they don't know well as otherwise people try to be helpful and give her a beef lasagne or something 😭

My son gets terrible stomach ache if he eats processed meat. I used to be the same. He's a healthy eater loves fruit and vegetables but can only tolerance the texture of some meats. He's always been really tall and thin until recently. So I give him what he will eat.

Is this someone trying to "nicely" suggest you don't feed their child 'junk food' when they come stay? I think I'd take it like that, and try not to have too much of a giggle.

It could be allergies of course but that would be a specific ingredient, rather than generic "processed" 🙄

fuck you've a lot of questions this morning @Flangelica

I've only opened 2 posts so far

Yup, define what “can’t” means. Allergic or “it’s our preference”.

It is cheeky to foist dietary preferences on hosts (unless you make it easy for them - eg hand over the prepared single food your kid will eat) but I would still respect it as it’s easily managed eg pasta or sandwiches.