"He eats meat, but can't eat any processed meat."

[Flangelica]

If someone said this to you when you asked about dietary requirements for a child, would you think they were massively w*nky/snobby, or is it socially acceptable and fine?

Honestly @FlimsySteve what do you think you're bringing to this thread?

The word 'can't' is a bit ridiculous. I would phrase it - I prefer him not to eat or he doesn't like. Honestly, I've found if there is a bit of fussiness it's easier to just suggest a meal the child can have. This has happened a couple of times when we have had play dates and it's absolutely fine. As a host you want to know the child will eat and enjoy your food.

More likely a personal preference than and allergy but its fair enough. The more I’ve learnt about gut health recently the more I’ve learnt how bad processed foods are so I get it.

From the NHS website...

Processed meat refers to meat that has been preserved by smoking, curing, salting or adding preservatives. This includes sausages, bacon, ham, salami and pâtés. If you currently eat more than 90g (cooked weight) of red or processed meat a day, the Department of Health and Social Care advises that you cut down to 70g.

If it’s an allergy it should be said so - although parents could always lie.
Feeding children is very difficult because of how fussy the little darlings are, but they universally seem to like processed foods. If they won’t eat what I provide I’d suggest they bring their own

I think it is a bit off to demand that preferences are followed unless you specifically asked 'what DH ie she like to eat?' It is a great me off after all and people have different budgets, cooking capabilities etc.I had a child minder years ago who only bought tinned veg and had very little money for anything other than processed food. The DC had home cooked meals for the rest of the week .It was a good lesson for all of us.

I eat a little meat if it's organic and free range but no processed meat. Not that I can't, I just don't. Probably same thing

I knew someone like this, but he had part of his bowel removed after an accident and there was some stuff he couldn't digest (or something). I don't really remember the details, but he just used to be 'vegetarian' as it was less wanky and easier for people to understand

I think it's a bit cheeky, it's basically saying "no shit food please". But I usually make meat free dinners anyway.

No, it isn't socially acceptable to demand preferences when eating at someone else's house.

Allergies fine, long held beliefs fine but no preferences, especially if they are negotiable preferences like occasional bacon

I’d just say my child was veggie, probably. It’s too much explaining otherwise.

If I was hosting, I’d just cook pasta with tomato sauce or pizza or something like that. I wouldn’t faff about worrying what they meant specifically, just make the whole meal meat-free for everyone.

some of my kids' friends will only eat one thing. I mean, literally the one dinner.

I make it for them if I have it in the house; it's not my business/issue/child.

I'd think he was allergic to one of the preservatives or needed low salt diet.

As PP said, I'd roast a chicken or some chicken legs. Easy.

Omlettes, no meat to be picky about.

We only eat a very narrow range of nitrate free processed meat products, in small quantities.

Not sure about the 'can't' - there could be a reason I guess. Just saying that a kid doesn't eat processed meat is fine, I think. It's not like it's essential or forms the basis of a meal or anything.

It's easily avoided, basically.

I would just cook pasta.

I'd need clarification. If they mean allergy then they need to say that because there's sources other than processed meats to consider.

If it's because they want their kid to only eat nice/healthy food then I think that's fine, but I'd prefer it to be less vague

I rarely buy processed meats and I’m particular about the food I buy but I tend to keep quiet for fear of being seen as wanky.

i mean I’ll totally judge you if you buy those horrendous Ginsters chicken slices or whatever they’re called because they’re devoid of nutrients and full of crap but I’d keep the thoughts to myself😄

I'd think it's fine. Up to the parents what their child eats - it's not my place to judge. It's not exactly a difficult one to cater for, either.

Mind you, they'd still get processed food here, just processed veggie food - cheese and tomato pizza with a side of carrot sticks/sweetcorn is my go to for playdates and I've not had any complaints yet.

No. I wouldn't think anything of it. People can eat what they like and avoid any foods they see fit. If you choose to follow or provide your children with a very specific or restrictive diet, its good manners to offer to bring your own food rather than expect to be catered for, or accept you/they won't eat at the event. But its no big deal is it? People seem to fuss a lot about what other people eat for some reason.

I agree with @MangyInseam if it's just a healthy eating preference, it's cheeky to inconvenience someone who is kind enough to invite your child over to play

Frankly if a parent tells me their child "can't" eat something I'd double check if there's an allergy (just in case of cross contamination) and just avoid giving them the "can't" food.

There's no point in wasting food on someone who "can't" eat it, so offer something that's more suitable.

Being mortally offended about everything does no one any favours.

Why are some people using the word 'demanding'?

There were no demands from what the OP has told us, just a parent answering a question.

I’d just do veggie pizza or jacket potatoes with beans and cheese. With some salad or vegetable sticks.

No way I’d be making a roast dinner for a play date! But equally I don’t want to feed someone’s child sausages or nuggets if they’d prefer me not to - I respect people’s choice to be veggie or not eat pork or whatever so I would respect a no processed meat edict too (while slightly eye rolling because it’s all “processed” - unless she imagines you’re going to shoot and pluck a pheasant or something).

I don’t understand any of this.