To despair that so many people have appalling table manners?

[Redpanda99]

Maybe I am just old fashioned, but when did it become acceptable for people to make loud slurping and lip smacking noises, chew with their mouths open, talk with their mouths full, scrape their fork against their teeth with every mouthful...aaargh!!! Whatever happened to good table manners? How can people eat and drink so noisily with no consideration for the people they are with? Surely it can't just be me who finds it disgusting? It gives me the rage!

I think my examples are extreme, but everyone knows what I'm talking about. Otherwise why counter it....

However I would the say the consensus of opinion is that people do lack old school etiquette especially around food.

You might be surprised to know that no one gives a fuck what you like or don't like!

If you challenged me (which I don't suppose you would, you're most likely be sitting there with your nose turned up), I'd tell you to mind your own damn business!

Christ I cannot believe people like you still exist! It's like an episode of downtown abbey!

Yes everyone knows what your talking about - that you are judgy and horrible towards working class and disabled people.

Street food is a concept where a range of global home-style cooked food is consumed in a social setting, it's not the same as nipping to Greggs and shoving a sausage roll down one's face.

What if they are delicately nibbling a wrap from Pret a Manger, is that acceptable?

Swap houses with me right now and you'll see some horrendous table manners - burping, scraping cutlery on plates and slurping are the least of the problems I'm dealing with right now. And I speak as someone who literally leaves the room when people scrape cutlery on their plates - it makes me stabby

The outlaws are here (they're not British) for 3 months. Only 2 months left now.....

I think my examples are extreme, but everyone knows what I'm talking about. Otherwise why counter it....

It's VERY clear what you're talking about.

You aren't coming across well at all.

I've found my tribe! As a child I ate in the kitchen alone to avoid DGF and his revolting manners. I remember a boy in junior school kicking off my revulsion. James McC...you were a slob..
My DC could eat properly before they were 2. They were often complimented on their manners as children. It's pure bad manners to eat as if you have nose in a trough!

I quite like Downtown Abbey.
Society would be much better for it.

@Hrpuffnstuff1 yes, you sound like you'd fit in perfectly!

Just so "stiff", "old fashioned" and "boring". No wonder your husband slags you off for it!

Yes if only the commoners knew their place...

Fuck off back to the victorian age.

@amoosee do you think @Hrpuffnstuff1 lifts her crinoline nighty for a shag?

Yes if only the commoners knew their place...

We're all int working mens club (clearly this has to be said in a northern accent 🙄) drinking pints......

What a load of bollocks!

They were designed to ensure everyone got to eat without seeing the inside of peoples mouths, being sprayed with food, elbowed by the person next to them or hit by flying chunks of food.

This was a time when people ate multiple courses sat around a table with lots of other people.

Some of it doesn't apply now - correct hand for knife/fork etc - we're rarely sat so bunched up that we'd be elbowing people if a lefty and a righty sit the wrong side of one another.

Some of it only applies sometimes - elbows on table = leaning forward, which means if you're talking to the person to your left, you're turning your back on the person to your right which is still AFAIK, pretty rude.

Of course that doesn't apply if there's two of you sat opposite one another at the table.

But things like not speaking with your mouth full, not shoving in another forkful of food whilst theres still one in your mouth, not leaning over or passing things across someone elses plate - those are still polite manners.

It's not that easy when you are at a wedding and your seat has been asigned.

In which case you would wait and follow other diners lead @sashh

As an autistic person, all these pointless unwritten rules made up by people like @Hrpuffnstuff1 is why I avoid eating with people unless we know each other well.

I'm sure lots of people dream of returning to an era of Downtown.

Trouble is in this dream they see themselves as the Lords and Ladies, instead what they'd mostly likely be: the hundred hour a week servants.

I wasn't the one stressed, I was the one whispering, "start from the outside, the big glass is for the red wine"

I do think it's important that table manners are taught. And I'm surprised that many of the things mentioned above are seen as particularly strict, as they were just normal in our household. Rules like waiting until everyone has finished for example shows consideration for others who may eat more slowly and who don't want to be left at the table to eat alone. Personally I used to let my very young DC leave the table if adults were chatting for a long time, but the rule was you had to ask to leave.

Not leaving the table during dinner is surely just basic manners , so as not to disturb everyone else and disrupt the host's service. In France, it seems like hardly anyone visits the lav during an entire evening, they all have steel bladders, or ladies hardly drink, but I would be interested to know the official rule about this!

I do know it is good manners in France to always keep your hands in view above the table (so the opposite of UK) and you rarely eat just with a fork, you virtually always use a knife as well. And it's fine to mop up a sauce with bread although that would be frowned upon in lofty circles in UK.

And many high born Belgians (and Germans perhaps?) would not thank you for being disapproving about having beer glasses on the table, even in smart restaurants, although the glasses would probably be stemmed and balloon shaped, depending on the brew. I have seen people in Spain use a small piece of bread to push food on to a fork and to drop olive stones on to the floor - collectively I mean - so perhaps that is permitted there? I'm not sure tbh!

As long as you are considerate of others (elbows in, mouth shut while chewing, not hunched over your plate (so you can see and talk to others and they can see you) passing serving dishes along and being aware of what's going on, and helping yourself last, contributing to the conversation, asking people about themselves and not just talking about yourself all of the time, not making any eating noises that are considered rude in that culture, and thanking your host and complimenting them on the food served, I think you can't go far wrong tbh!

Ew you need to stop hanging around with these guys! I have never seen this in real life

I'm left handed but a bit baffled about how this is relevant to using cutlery. You see, I use a knife and a fork when eating, so I'm using both my hands.

I would not tolerate that kind of common language at my dinner table.

I'm left handed but a bit baffled about how this is relevant to using cutlery. You see, I use a knife and a fork when eating, so I'm using both my hands.
Same. If there's any difference between them I would think having the dominant hand for the fork, which is the one that needs more dexterity (irony intended) as it's the one doing more than just sawing makes most sense. Which makes many of my fellow lefties eating the wrong way round even more confusing.

I was going to add a stemmed beer glass would be more appropriate.
So in essence a great post, covering common etiquette.

Imagine being unaware of these customs.🤔😂

Yep.

There are a few left handers in my family who can all use their knife and fork in the correct hands.

They can also all open a bottle of wine (move the bottle not the corkscrew) now tin openers - I can't watch. I think all of them have electric or battery openers.