To despair that so many people have appalling table manners?

[Redpanda99]

Maybe I am just old fashioned, but when did it become acceptable for people to make loud slurping and lip smacking noises, chew with their mouths open, talk with their mouths full, scrape their fork against their teeth with every mouthful...aaargh!!! Whatever happened to good table manners? How can people eat and drink so noisily with no consideration for the people they are with? Surely it can't just be me who finds it disgusting? It gives me the rage!

Why do I feel like you're the type who leaves all the cooking and looking after the kids to your wife?

Haha this.

We eat out as a family regular and with other families too and our children have wonderful social skills and table manners.

No hangi???????!!!!!!

Too far.

Precisely everything said here! I can’t get worked up about which hand you hold your cutlery in, but chewing with your mouth open and talking with your mouth full really turns my stomach. My dh was brought up with TV dinners on the sofa but learned very quickly and enthusiastically how to eat mannerably (is that a word?) at a table in company. He was very self conscious about his lack of table manners when we first got together. It’s all about consideration for others (although that does seem to be in short supply these days)

It's not what you eat or where you buy your food from or sitting at a table together. It's not even a class thing either
Manners cost nothing and is the gateway to feeling comfortable in any situation
It's not being 'snobby' 🙄

'The gateway to feeling comfortable in any situation'.
😎

I feel comfortable in any situation- if someone were to judge me for holding a fork in the incorrect hand or for using a glass they disapproved of, I wouldn't care a jot. This would not make me feel uncomfortable in any situation!

Why respond and defend your position.

In reality, what passes someone's thoughts, doesn't affect you does it?
I've expressed my opinion, and so have others.
I avoid cheap eateries like Greggs, ignore others' habits and observe customs when eating or enjoying different communities.

I don’t believe there is an incorrect hand though
if you have good table manners it goes a long way
people will judge you whether you care or not

*I don’t believe there is an incorrect hand though
if you have good table manners it goes a long way
people will judge you whether you care or not

I went out with my dad and his wife the other week and not only did she criticise my choice of food ( you're not very adventurous are you?) she also stated very loudly ' you use your cutlery wrong too!' then to my dad 'can none of your children use a knife and fork properly?'
Apart from using my knife and fork differently my table manners were impeccable. Her manners were much worse than mine - it doesn't matter that she used cutlery the 'right' way.

Your Dad's wife is the kind of person I won't eat with. Now THOSE are appalling table manners.

@sashh

There is no wrong hand. Americans use the other way would you tell them they are all wrong?

It's my dominant hand. Why should I ignore my natural instinct? Would you say that about someone's sexuality?

Seriously do better. Educate yourself and check your ableism.

but at least she uses her cutlery in the right hands.......

Unless those communities consist of working class Brits.

@brookstar , how bloody rude of her

The whole point, and only point as far as I am concerned, of good manners is to make others feel at ease. Not to make an entire section of society feel uncomfortable as a pp said. Good manners should be all about making people feel welcome and if a host sticks to rigid rules for the sake of it, with the effect that it makes their guests feel uncertain or disadvantaged in any way, that is the absolute opposite of what good manners are all about. Hence, kings and queens drinking out of finger bowls etc.

I don’t believe there is an incorrect hand though
if you have good table manners it goes a long way
people will judge you whether you care or not

But as you can see others believe there is, so while you are silently judging someone for one thing, you are likely being judged for another. It's all a bit ridiculous. Look at the street food argument. Ok to eat a bao bun bit not a greggs sausage roll in public - where's the logic 🙈

But as you can see others believe there is

Based on outdated superstition, so I refuse to take it seriously.

Although, in some cultures it is viewed as bad manners to eat with your left hand. This isn't based on superstition, but on something much more down to earth.

It depends on what you are eating and where @liveforsummer
That is good manners and knowing the etiquette
id not make someone feel uncomfortable but I would judge , I’m not going to lie

I find the idea of using the 'wrong hand' utterly ridiculous. I use my knife and fork 'the wrong way round' - I remember being told to change it as a child but it's the only way that's comfortable for me and it's still how I eat now.

You are criticizing other people for their social skills?

Oh dear.

Judging by some of his posts on other threads, I doubt any women would voluntarily go within ten feet of him.

What does that mean?

No. We are generally excited to be in each other's company and there's so much going on. Whether I'm with extended Bajan family or Turkish friends it's all about merriment and enjoyment.

we have merriment and enjoyment, but can still eat with mouths closed whilst listening to others talking and chat whilst others are eating.

tbh I’ve had meals with people who have spoken with mouths full of food and I’ve found it gross- but I guess if you all do it maybe you’re used to it

Although, in some cultures it is viewed as bad manners to eat with your left hand. This isn't based on superstition, but on something much more down to earth.

But what if you are left handed? My DD uses her cutlery the opposite way around to me because she is a leftie

I think the previous poster was alluding to cultures from the Maghreb / Middle East where it’s normal to wipe your bottom directly on your left hand and then to wash the hand afterwards.

I’m happy to be corrected if this isn’t right, but it apparently gives rise to taboos around what you do with that hand.