To despair that so many people have appalling table manners?

[Redpanda99]

Maybe I am just old fashioned, but when did it become acceptable for people to make loud slurping and lip smacking noises, chew with their mouths open, talk with their mouths full, scrape their fork against their teeth with every mouthful...aaargh!!! Whatever happened to good table manners? How can people eat and drink so noisily with no consideration for the people they are with? Surely it can't just be me who finds it disgusting? It gives me the rage!

If it didn't matter then the thread wouldn't exist.

Anyhow, here's a guide relevant to the discussion.
debretts.com/the-golden-rules-of-dining/

Mmmmm, I'm from a lot further away than rural Russia, or Lithuania (love the emphasis on rural Russia, by the way), and there is no way that I'd expect people to follow the cultural customs of where I'm from.

It's always seemed so parochial to me - to expect people in other countries and cultures to adhere to the same customs as you (or your mother) do in your country.

The saying, after all, isn't 'when in Rome, do as the (rural) Russians do'.

So Gregg's and Toby Carvery = bad, rural Russia = good. And there's no in-between.

If it didn't matter then the thread wouldn't exist.

Manners are one thing. They do matter.

What you drink, the glass you drink out of and the hand you hold your fork in, matter not a jot in your day to day life.

Is there any reason that you are being so determinedly unpleasant here?

I’ve lived in a lot of places, and am an immigrant to the UK, but have never come across someone presenting as you are doing here. I’m fortunate to have dined with royalty and aristocracy, and none of them act like you are in terms of judging others.

I'm pretty sure @Hrpuffnstuff1 is winding us all up. After all, he's posted a link to Debrett's to demonstrate relevance.

The family is actually split equally between Russia/Lithuania both are rural locations. Both are similar.
We do have friends from the cities in both countries.
They in turn have different customs.
I'm from the UK.
I think you have to remember food has different meanings and is used significantly as a tool of national and familial identity.
I think the brits have lost that importance in and amongst the chains and the pace of our lives. It's all a bit casual.

I don't buy food from either Greggs or Tc. Horrible.

I think the key takeaway from this discussion for me is that I am very unlikely to ever be friends with, or even friendly acquaintances, with @Hrpuffnstuff1 as the snobbiness is not something I could handle.

Actually I disagree. I think the reason things are more relaxed these days is because we have a far more diverse community (in most parts of the Uk). A mix of cultures blending together where people care less about the stuff that actually makes no sense rather than people being poorly educated and sloppy

So you think that lower class people don't have/need table manners, they're for the 'upper classes' only! How utterly patronising, we were taught basic table manners as children, despite living in a council house and having working class parents, as were most of my friends from similarly lowly homes.

Oh, where I'm from the links between food and national and familial identity are pretty darned strong, so I'm unlikely to have a memory lapse on that one!

Then again, we have a strong emphasis on hospitality, and ensuring that one's guests are made to feel welcome, and not 'othered' by trivial details.

And being a pimple on the arse end of the world, we don't think that how we do things is the be all and end all. . .

If my host's best glass is a jam jar, the drink is scrumpy, and the food is spam, I'll be appreciative of that. That does not change that they have been kind enough to share their home, their food and their drink with me.

20+ years ago the school where I taught had a Leavers' Party, now called Prom, at a local hotel and there was a sit-down meal. It was amazing how many said they had never sat at a table to eat a meal and needed a lot of reassurance to make them feel comfortable with the cutlery etc..

I don't buy food from either Greggs or Tc. Horrible.

Good for you. Other people do, that doesn't make them uncultured. Most people are very complex and eat in a range of settings.

I had a child come for a birthday sleepover who had never used a knife and fork before. The other children most enthusiastically showed her how. She then gave them an awesome reciprocal lesson in the proper use of chopsticks! No judgment there, just appreciation that some folks do things differently, and friendship in action.

I both agree and disagree with this point, the Brits are well known for their bland food and inability to cook. Some now have an inability to display any table manners.
I was reading some review comments on the Chough bakery cornish pasties, one chap was annoyed it didn't taste like a Greggs pasty.😂
I think we've lost all connection to food and customs regarding food in the UK.
It's not everyone, but we've had the essence of what food means diluted.
Greggs.😂

Yeah we got that thanks. But other people do and there's nothing wrong with that.

I think we've lost all connection to food and customs regarding food in the UK.
It's not everyone, but we've had the essence of what food means diluted.

When you say 'we', you really mean 'they' don't you? Because you obviously don't think you're like 'other' Brits!

I think there is a problem, it's junk food.
It's fugazi, these commercial entities should be closed. The nation's health and manners would benefit from it.
We sit down every night with a meal made from scratch, and the children all join in with the meal times from the cooking to the clearing and everything in between.
I just don't feel some families do this, hence the apparent lack of social skills.

Why do I feel like you're the type who leaves all the cooking and looking after the kids to your wife?

Hrpuffnstuff1 is doing a good troll job. Really getting the right balance between deadpan and superior.

You personally don't like them so they should be closed? Do you also think pint glasses should be illegal and people who use the wrong cutlery should be sent to the galug?

I hope your children don't turn out like you. And I really hope none of them are ND, you'd make their life hell.

I'd believe it was a troll if I hadn't met people who think like that.

On the contrary. Declining the tinned asparagus wrapped in bread, and avoiding the toxic onion dip can get you funnier looks round here than bad table manners will in England.

*On the contrary. Declining the tinned asparagus wrapped in bread, and avoiding the toxic onion dip can get you funnier looks round here than bad table manners will in England.&

Tinned asparagus you say?! Why how uncouth. It must be fresh, dahling. . .

And the onion dip is the work of the devil, I quite agree. . .

However, I will stand for our sausage rolls, bacon and egg pie, pavlova, pies in general, whitebait fritters, and crayfish. I'm not a fan of hangi, gotta be said, I think that's an acquired taste - but the environment and aroha are second to none!