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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In the past 2 years, nursery illness has ruined

344 replies

Wouldloveanother · 03/07/2022 16:24

Every bank holiday bar one. Maybe 15-20 weekends? Both of DH’s birthdays. A weekend away. Too many occasions and plans to even count. I am so done with it, another weekend ruined and I just want to cry.

OP posts:
MiniPiccolo · 03/07/2022 17:07

Wouldloveanother · 03/07/2022 16:29

No. I’ve been told numerous times this is normal, it’s a particularly bad couple of years for bugs since the lockdown. She’s had blood tests at my insistence and all came back fine. She’s got no medical conditions, good height and weight, eats healthily, takes a multivitamin. Im at a loss. How does anybody live a normal life with toddlers at the moment?

They don't and generally rarely have. Lockdown was the only thing that gave my DC any respite from nursery illness. He was pretty much ruined week in week out until he got a solid break away from all the bugs and viruses. Since then he's only been sick 3 times and 2 were tummy bugs and 1 chicken pox.

It does get better. It's just so shit when you're in the midst of it all.

Beees · 03/07/2022 17:07

we’ve been told it’s too early to diagnose with asthma but she had viral wheeze for ages and has an inhaler which does nothinge. Every doctor has seen says it’s normal and a very bad couple of years after the stupid lockdowns

You can absolutely get her diagnosed with asthma and if her inhaler isn't doing anything you really need to go back and push for another assessment.

Yes post lockdown young children have been affected more as all the illnesses have hit at once but honestly it's not normal to have been so unwell even with the lockdowns.

AliceW89 · 03/07/2022 17:09

2 year old DS gets a lot of nursery coughs/cold. It’s annoying and he can get more grumpy and tired if weekends are really busy…but i wouldn’t say it regularly ruins plans to be honest. Maybe my expectations of plans with a 2 year old are just really low though.

cadburyegg · 03/07/2022 17:10

I hear you op. Not quite as bad as you but I'm a single parent and I worked out that between November and March this year I didn't have a full month without one of my kids having to be off school/childcare.

DS4 had 2 weeks off preschool in November/December due to staff off ill with covid. Then he had another week off in December with d&v. DS7 one week off in January for covid outbreak in class. DS4 off with covid for 1 week in Feb then same again in March. DS7 missed out on a birthday party again as a result. Had some welcome respite until a few weeks ago when we were all struck down with d&v again. DS7 only off for 2 days, DS4 off for a week again. Oh and DS7 also had some time off for a sprained ankle... can't remember when that was...

It's been so bad lately. Chicken pox and covid is going round school again now too so I'm sure that'll be the next thing, just before the summer hols. Hmm

NeverDropYourMooncup · 03/07/2022 17:12

With that amount of vomiting bugs (if that's what they are, not just a bit of a temperature or a snotty nose), I'd be looking very carefully at food and personal hygiene, whether at home when cooking or, probably more likely, at Nursery. Other people's children are the factor you can't control and if they aren't washing their hands and yours isn't washing hers, it's six hours of bug sharing.

Mine didn't really get ill that often - the youngest did the grotty nose every couple of weeks through winter when she was about 2 because she was coming into contact with all the other kids earlier than the eldest did and the eldest was obviously bringing home some of them from school to share. But from memory, the eldest's only puking came from overdoing it on chocolate one Easter and then bouncing on her bed just before she went to sleep and the youngest (not counting when somebody gave her measles the week before her MMR) only had one pick up and point at the toilet from the doorway incident.

I know I was ill far more often as a child, but that was 100% lack of hygiene in the home added to there being fewer vaccinations (and many people not believing in the ones that were available).

Wouldloveanother · 03/07/2022 17:12

Thanks Cadbury
we’ve just had her vaccinated against chicken pox for the best part of £150 as we can’t afford more time off

OP posts:
Wouldloveanother · 03/07/2022 17:14

@NeverDropYourMooncup it’s only been 2 vomiting bugs 98% has been respiratory. It’s the temperature that’s the problem

OP posts:
Wouldloveanother · 03/07/2022 17:14

You had me worried I’m Typhoid Mary then 😂

OP posts:
User1435 · 03/07/2022 17:15

We have a 3 year old and have had a similar year to you. It's definitely a post-covid/lockdown thing and I know loads of people with similar aged kids in the same situation. I don't really agree with people telling you to take your kids out with a cough/cold but no temp. That's how all these things keep spreading. I know kids need to catch them but continuous colds/coughs for months are not fun for anyone. Occasionally we seem to get 1-2 months respite and it's amazing! Fingers crossed this summer will be less bad!

Isonthecase · 03/07/2022 17:16

We've been the same and it has been MUCH worse than our older child pre COVID. I think a lot of nurseries are being hyper paranoid about the slightest sniffle too.

Dinoboymama · 03/07/2022 17:18

My 3 year old is the same, his siblings never had half as many bugs he has managed to catch. Part of me wonders if it was down to young ones not really catching anything during lockdowns.

Our sons on day 5 of having a temperature. In June it was a sickness bug. In may croup. Over Easter another sickness bug.

It feels like every few weeks he is unwell.

katmarie · 03/07/2022 17:19

We've had exactly the same op. I have a 4yo and a 2yo both in nursery, so if one gets it, the other does too, but a few days later, so we have a rolling period of sickness. I think since Christmas we've had about 5 weeks where both of them have been in full time all week.

Dd particularly is prone to a high temp when she gets sick, she's the 2yo. And once she gets a temp she's utterly miserable, and I wouldn't ask her to go out and do stuff when she feels like that, I also wouldn't inflict her on other people when she's that miserable either.

Since Xmas we've had multiple colds, one case of covid, maybe half a dozen sickness or diarrhoea bugs (occasionally both). Once her temp goes above 38, if calpol doesn't bring it down in 30 mins, they send her home. If it's on the weekend we don't get to do much, because who wants to deal with someone else's kid projectile snotting when they sneeze? Also, managing a barely potty trained 2yo with diarrhoea is far easier at home. And it's just common courtesy not to spread these bugs. Not to mention the fact that sick kids don't want to be at family parties or days out, and they shouldn't have to be if its not essential.

It's been utterly, utterly shit. Im on an attendance warning at work for the first time in my life. This weekend I have missed my nephews birthday because the kids brought home a chest infection which knocked them and me for six. We missed seeing my dad for fathers day because of a vomiting bug. I picked the kids up friday and dd's room has a sign about a hand foot and mouth virus going around, and ds's room had a sign about a d and v bug doing the rounds of his group. It feels bloody endless.

ipswichwitch · 03/07/2022 17:20

My oldest was the kid who caught everything. From when he started nursery at 1 to starting school he got it all. I figured because he was premature, his immune system wasn’t very robust. In one horrendous month he managed to get cellulitis in his eye, chicken pox and gastroenteritis! However, since starting school he’s been much better, and is very rarely ill. Even when he got covid last year he had a sore throat and nothing else, so it seems he’s grown out of it.
his brother in comparison, seems to be made of Teflon. He’s never ill, so just goes to show you don’t get two the same!

Chicci1 · 03/07/2022 17:23

I can really relate to your post op. We have the same situation with our four year old and it really makes life so tough and sucks the joy out of things. Most of our weekend plans end up getting cancelled at the moment. I think some of the posts on this thread are pretty heartless and for those people saying it’s not normal, this unfortunately is the norm for some kids.

SwayingInTime · 03/07/2022 17:24

My youngest had a similar number of I’ll eases to her older siblings but always always an unusually high temp, and then half the time an incredibly dramatic post viral rash. We mostly worked opposite shifts apart from when she was chhildminded with close friends but reading your post I realise it would have been chaos with a nursery place.

she has grown out of it but still has to sleep with the window open all year round or she get night sweats!

soootiredddd · 03/07/2022 17:26

Why isn’t your DH taking time off to look after her sometimes? Don’t say it’s because his jobs more important. It isn’t.

Wouldloveanother · 03/07/2022 17:27

@katmarie 💐

youve hit the nail on the head. Everyone (either who had kids years ago or have the luxury of being a SAHM so no nursery germs) think we’re being dramatic, like it can’t be that bad surely?
work think we’re taking the piss I think
or people say she must have something wrong with her immune system. The doctor said if this was the case she would have problems fighting things off rather than catching them easily if that makes sense plus she had a very thorough blood test
it’s nice to know somebody else gets it but wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy!

OP posts:
Waiting4baby2 · 03/07/2022 17:27

We are in the same boat at the moment - my toddler was always ill when they first went back after lockdown then a good stint of illness free or mild snotty noses but now the illnesses seem to be picking up again. It always seems to be one thing running into the other. My child also has a good diet etc it’s so draining so I feel for you OP and we have also had plans cancelled!

Wouldloveanother · 03/07/2022 17:27

soootiredddd · 03/07/2022 17:26

Why isn’t your DH taking time off to look after her sometimes? Don’t say it’s because his jobs more important. It isn’t.

He does we do every other day

OP posts:
SNAFU247 · 03/07/2022 17:27

YES! DS2 has been in nursery since beginning of the year (started at 8months) and has been somewhat ill every day since! Mostly just a constant (and I mean constant) runny nose but we do have many weeks of taking time off to be with him when he's genuinely poorly - I'm currently in bed suffering from catching the tummy bug he arrived home with on Tuesday evening! That's the second tummy bug I've caught from him in about 1.5 months - prior to this I hadn't had a stomach bug since 2017! He's also had a bad viral rash, temperatures, v had cold.

It's not just the waste of money, or even having to juggle time off work to look after him... it's the fact one of us usually catches it and then need our own time off to recover too!

DS1 is 6 and it was never as bad as this when he went!!

soootiredddd · 03/07/2022 17:28

Also doesn’t matter if he’s the higher earner. If anything the more senior you are arguably the more autonomy you have to be able to catch up in evenings/move meetings/ask others to take on tasks. If you both work you do 50:50. Even if you only work part time, he should do his share on the days you work eg if you work Mon-Weds and your DD is off all week then you have her two days anyway so then split the 3 days.

Paintingflowers · 03/07/2022 17:29

I completely relate and send sympathy. I’m at a loss of what to do with my 4 year old. Constant coughs, croup, tonsillitis, ear infections and the odd vomiting bug thrown in for good measure. He throws up every single time he coughs too, which means he misses a lot of nursery.

He has always picked up everything and always really suffers. I’m pushing for some extra tests with the doctor before he starts reception this year as I’m worried about the amount of school he’ll miss.

soootiredddd · 03/07/2022 17:29

Sorry x post. Then I don’t understand how you’re hardly ever there?

Waiting4baby2 · 03/07/2022 17:29

For those saying it’s not normal I actually asked the GP and he said toddlers at nursery get on average 12 illnesses a year!

AngelinaFibres · 03/07/2022 17:30

Wouldloveanother · 03/07/2022 16:38

I’m very seriously considering handing in my notice, just because of this. I can’t cope anymore and the career I’ve worked so hard for is going down the toilet because I’m hardly ever in. I’m going to end up with a disciplinary anwyay

Would a childminder be a better option. Smaller number of children, less chance of çatching things.Might help for a while but might kick off again when your child starts school

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