In the past 2 years, nursery illness has ruined

[Wouldloveanother]

Every bank holiday bar one. Maybe 15-20 weekends? Both of DH’s birthdays. A weekend away. Too many occasions and plans to even count. I am so done with it, another weekend ruined and I just want to cry.

My son was exactly the same at nursery. I was barely at work - when he got poorly he always got a high temp, viral rash and was miserable. Always sick with a cough too.

After the umpteenth sickness bug where we all got floored with it, I removed him from nursery and got a childminder. This solved the problem entirely.

Dd didn't get poorly at nursery so much when she started - a few incidents but it was a different nursery and they spent a lot of time outside so maybe that helped.

I remember how awful it was at the time and how guilty I felt for sending him in. His childminder was just wonderful tho and now at age 12 he's hardly ever poorly - he's the only one of us who hasn't had covid etc. I wonder did his crappy start with all these bugs actually boost his immune system later on.

For all these people saying "it can't be that bad" they've clearly never experienced it.

Sounds hard OP, it probably is to do with lockdowns and social distancing.

I do think parents these days are a bit obsessed with temperature though ... my DDs are early 20s now and I don't remember even owning a thermometer.

I have heard this before from parents of older children. It’s odd to describe something done differently to the way you did it as “obsessed”. As a parent of preschoolers now I am frequently asked specific temperatures by nursery, HCPs and so on. Maybe things were different when your children were small, and you weren’t asked, so you didn’t think to have a thermometer in the house.

I have a toddler (turns 2 later this month) since she's been born she has had 3 bouts of sickness, and maybe 3/4 colds in total? She doesn't attend nursery yet but we do go to plenty of playgroups, soft play centres, etc. It does seem some children are more prone to picking things up though, it is excessive and maybe nursery hygiene levels are not what they should be? Are other children there often ill? Whats their policy on managing illness, will they allow children to attend if they have been given calpol? As obviously that can mask illness and spread it to others! x

It’s not nursery hygiene levels, it’s longer periods of time mixing with other children - your playgroups and soft plays are not as great a proportion of time as nursery time. No nurseries do not allow children to attend if they know they have been given calpol. Nursery policies on illness are extremely strict, if your child ends up going to one you will discover this when you come to signing it.

I totally get you! My eldest has just turned 10 and I still get almost a ptsd reaction when the coughing starts again. He has an IgA deficiency, severe asthma & allergies. I have emetephobia too so freak out about that. Illnesses were one of the reasons I didn't want a 3rd. My youngest has hay-fever, had constant croup when small & now diagnosed with mild asthma. He also has food allergies. It is exhausting, every single minute. While it does sound on the high end of 'normal' don't be afraid to ask for any extra tests and definitely don't punish yourself- honestly some people's kids seem to stay well & they'll never understand the stress.

So glad to see you are getting more and more support as these pages go on. The first few pages seem to be full of slagging off and accusatory statements if I’m honest. Made me a hit annoyed for you!

I totally get it, my DD is similar although it’s getting better the last few months.

i hope it’s just a phase (albeit a damn long one am I right?!) and wish you all the best mama xxx

@inpixiehollow nursery illness is a whole different kettle of fish to ‘out and about’ bugs - you’re in for a bit of a shock when your little one does go to nursery/school!

@TickyTacky its so shit isn’t it! I’m quite satisfied she’s healthy - she looks very healthy, she’s had thorough blood tests and she has no issues fighting the bugs off, it’s just the rate she catches them.

@SiouxLines thank you! I think most of the posters on here that have sent unsympathetic replies are either SAHMs who don’t have kids in nursery, or did but in pre covid times - night and day to be honest.

hope all our luck changes soon..!

Really hope it all gets a bit easier for us with kids who throw a temp at the drop of a hat. It’s so much more than just a bit of a cold. A temp of 40 for a week at a time is a whole different thing and it is so draining.

We just alternated calpol with ibuprofen and got on with our plans. We find DS is hungry and grumpy we usually grab a happy meal and ice cream to keep the peace.

Even now we don't think omg it could be covid we asses whether anyone vulnerable is going with us we need to warn and then get on with it. We may do a LFT if I think it is COVID but that's the limit.

I said this as someone who has worked in a fair few nurseries. Not all of them are up to scratch in terms of maintaining proper hygiene and you'd surprised how many times a child will be dropped off who is obviously unwell.

You asked about policies, not what parents might do.

Exactly!!
(excluding covid at its peak*) schools will expect children in with 100% attendance.

& we are nurturing the work force of the future!

paracetamol, carry on. Start the day an hour late.
especially if it’s so regular.

plenty on people cope with MUCH worse on a daily basis.

Also, planning perfect days out with toddlers (or anyone) is in my experience a recipe for disaster!
lower your expectations OP & you’ll enjoy things so much more.

*I’ve now heard of schools chasing covid positive staff back to work if they’re feeling up to it after 24/48 hours, regardless of testing status.

From some of these posts I can see why our kids (and us) keep getting sick! Have we learned nothing from this pandemic?!

This does seem to be on the very worst end of the scale for picking up nursery illnesses, but I have a friend with a 2 year old who has been ill and off nursery almost as much.
You can’t head out for the day with a child with high temp - but can you catch up on work while your DD is in bed or on the settee? We had a few weeks of this when DS first went to nursery. We just avoided making social plans and got through it, using weekends to catch up on missed work in the week. We stayed in and watched films. In our case it lasted for 3 months only so I appreciate that 2 years must be hard going.

Your priority is surely keeping your job, so rather than make plans to go out altogether I’d get your DH to take her out while you work for part of the weekend if she is well enough - I’m suggesting two hours at the park not a whole day trip. If you’ve booked some leave during the summer I’d keep her off nursery then and hope you can get a couple of days out and about. We had absolutely no family help so I know what that’s like - it was nursery or us, in our case. Ours had four bad colds, three stomach bugs, two bouts of conjunctivitis and something that looked like chicken pox but turned out not to be in 12 weeks. He didn’t do more than week without being ill again - it’s why I went part time.

@Wouldloveanother i am so sorry you are going through this. I am really shocked at the lack of understanding and empathy from so many people replying to you. Just for solidarity, we are going through similar. DD picks up every bug and inevitably gets a high temperature which leads to her feeling grotty and miserable. Then we pick it up and by the time we are all recovered, she has picked up the next bug. GP has said that we are just really unlucky. I am dreading school in September as there will be even more kids spreading germs around.
For those lacking in empathy, please take a moment to remember how challenging an child with a high temperature can be, how calpol doesn't suddenly work miracles and consider how you might feel if this was happening to your family on a regular basis.

I’ve just read your posts OP and I am glad you are going to get her tonsils checked. It could be an embedded infection that keeps flaring. Get her ears looked at too.

Tonsils and ears seem to cause temps to spike.

DS had a high temp and vomiting every 6-8 weeks due to tonsils (we’d get a week or two respite when he was on AB) for about 2 years. We had his tonsils removed when he was 3.5. He was a different child afterwards- lively, energetic, grew like a weed (barely 50th centile at 3 and 91st at 14)

You mentioned your DD is getting a runny bottom with the infections - if it persists sometimes it’s worth switching to lactofree for a couple of weeks as some infections can cause temporary lactose intolerance.

My kid is ill again. Another temperature

Oh Bruised 😞
are you ok? Just in time for the weekend, fucking typical 🙄 I hope your little one is all right.

Oh OP, you have my sympathy. We're a week out the other side of the worst vomiting bug I've experienced. Both kids got it and it completely wiped out two weeks. DH and I can't work out if the raw stomach we've both been left with is the bug or stress.

There has been so much of it this year, it's horrendous. Coming out of lockdown has made it so much worse but I think there have always been kids who are more prone than others. My MIL gave up work because of this with BIL, her job allowed her to make up the time but there was never enough time to make it up.

I'm likely to be offered and have to turn down a new job soon, mostly for this reason. DH does help but his job requires him to be out and about.

It is absolutely horrible that sinking sick feeling you get when one of them comes down with something again and you immediately worry about work then feel guilty for worrying about work when your child is poorly.

I don't know what the answer is but you are not alone.

Thank you Cats 💐 and I’m sorry you’re going through the same thing.

I think this is normal for the first six months to a year… at least this is what the GP and friends have said to me and what we are currently experiencing.

DS was three months old when we first went into lockdown, and then started nursery this past April. Since then he’s had two viral infections and a throat infection, plus a cough that pops up with everything he gets. He also gets a temperature - up to 40 with bacterial infections! - with everything so I feel your pain.

i have been told it is worse at the moment, lots of bugs around that wouldn’t normally be around in summer. I know the children’s ward is full of children with respiratory infections that wouldn’t normally end up in a hospital stay (a friend is a doctor on the childrens ward at local hospital) so I do think lockdown and Covid is still having a knock on effect.

interestingly GP also said some children who have had Covid then get bloody everything after as their immune system has taken such a knock from it - this has definitely been our experience as he got it just before starting nursery.

I would hope that after a year of this maximum we wouldn’t be seeing so much illness with him - at the moment he does a full week at nursery and without fail is off the following week so I do feel your pain! Two years of it seems very unlucky

It’s rubbish.

Mine started nursery at 1 year old and was constantly picking up bugs - tonsillitis etc. she was really snotty and had a cough from May through to September - turned out to be hayfever. ( I had been to several GPs before speaking to one who suggested this. The rest had just diagnosed a virus and prescribed antibiotics). The advice was to give her a bath every night - and rinse through her hair to get rid of pollen. Put water over her face to encourage her to blow out the mucus- damp dust her room regularly - don’t open the windows on a sunny day and dry her bed linen indoors. Use a touch of Vaseline around her nose. Made a huge difference to her health. She’s 2.5 now and rarely Ill.

People who don’t have nursery aged kids in the post-lockdown era just don’t get it! Pre-covid, nursery would even give dc1 a shot of calpol if temp was high. Now, it’s straight home and effectively barred for the rest of the week.

My kids are on sickness bug number FOUR since Christmas. I messaged my bro whose kids are similar ages for reassurance today and he said:
“I 've lost count of the times we've paid £84 a day for nursery, then there's a sign on the door warning of a foot and mouth outbreak (or sars or effing black death or some shite), you pick her up, she gets sick, the next day she can't go in, you still have to pay them £84 but you also now have to take a day off your own work to look after her and then row with HR not to have your pay docked. They. Are. Always. Ill. But its all worthwhile just to share in their joy when they're scribbling on the walls and smashing plates”
…so I feel your pain!!!