In the past 2 years, nursery illness has ruined

[Wouldloveanother]

Every bank holiday bar one. Maybe 15-20 weekends? Both of DH’s birthdays. A weekend away. Too many occasions and plans to even count. I am so done with it, another weekend ruined and I just want to cry.

I have no advice but my dd is the same. Been in nursery since 2019 and never completed a full month. She's had tonsillitis 4 times this year.
Scarlett fever once.
Any time she comes home with a bug it makes her extremely lethargic, she vomits, on one extreme bad day she had a seizure but a&e said it was viral.
She's had 5 different antibiotics this year, she constantly has a cough that makes it sound like she'll spew if she keeps coughing, she runs a temperature constantly.
She has vitamins but they don't seem to make a difference, a good diet

It is exhausting!

My eldest, very pre covid, caught everything going, scarlet fever twice, hf and m twice, random viral rashes etc. for some of the things I was told it was a particularly infectious year.

Loads of coughs and temps - but we didn't have the covid issue. Always got croup and ended up in hospital getting steroids.

I think the covid thing has made it worse for you as we could mostly carry on but I was permanently knackered from both looking after him and catching some of the illnesses myself. Including quinsy.

He is very rarely ill now (was found to have asthma, virally triggered like me) and suffered the least when we all
Had covid.

Ds2, 4, is definitely less reactive to illness. Has never had a sickness bug weirdly. And it's been going around a lot. Doesn't get the same lingering coughs. Only got scarlet fever once.

Some children seem to react more than others. As some adults do.

She's also had impetigo and gastrointestinal infection
She had random d&v symptoms that nobody else in the house seems to get

We've just had to put her on a dairy free diet which is a bit of a struggle atm

Exactly the same here except I have a 5 year old and 3 year old. Constant feverish illness up until April. Had some respite for 6 weeks and now we have had another week off school with high temperatures and respiratory symptoms. It’s been utterly miserable and added to that the constant pressure from school re attendance has made the stress significantly higher. You are not alone and it’s soul destroying at times. I keep reminding myself that it’s developing their immunity but it’s still hard to manage.

Yea that's what I have. And what ds ended up being diagnosed with.

The coughs linger for ages, dry, often at night, and I started to notice he coughed after running in the winter - and other kids didn't. I did though, before I was diagnosed. He was often more tired in the winter too which changed when he started inhalers age 5.

So every cold would bring a cough. Ds2 just gets a cold. He has had croup but not as badly.

Ah that’s bad luck OP.

Kids seem to get ill in different ways. I’m very lucky because mine are almost never physically sick or have high temperatures <touches ALL the wood>.

They’ve had loads of colds but thankfully those don’t come with the same absence rules.

Whereas I have friends whose kids get a high temperature with any tiny bug, and another whose kids are sick at the drop of a hat including when anxious. Nightmare.

It will pass but it’s tough in the meantime, my sympathies.

Nursery illness? My child went to nursery but never once got ill. I don't think it's nursery. A child shouldn't be regularly ill.

Yes this is normal, and very draining.

I have two at the same nursery but in different rooms so if one dodges an illness that's circulating it's guaranteed the other will bring it home to spread.

It's honestly so draining and annoying, I can't remember the last time either we're without snotty noses. The runny tummies, vomiting bugs, coughs, temps, it's relentless.

The doctor said if they get it all now they will be iron clad by reception class so just keep going OP.

Both of ours picked up bugs absolutely constantly at nursery, barely a week went by when they didn’t have something or another. But it was rare that it was to the extent of plans being ruined and nursery were very accommodating and only sent them home if they were properly unwell.

DH and I would (and still do) share time off to care for poorly kids so it wasn’t just my job that was impacted which really helped.

I completely empathise, although it hasn't been quite as bad for us and touch wood, we're at about six weeks now without an illness. Winter just gone was particularly bad, he had Covid twice, tonsillitis, a vomiting bug and a skin infection within 12 weeks.

Until Covid tests for every fever/cough stopped we were having to have him at home while we were working or have time off work every 3/4 weeks, as he's very prone to high fevers and has asthma. My job carries on whether I'm there or not, so I just have to catch up when I go back to work and any time off massively affects my ability to keep up.

I completely understand why women give up work with a young child now. I'm not going to because I would lose my mind being a SAHM, but it's really fucking hard work.

Some kids are more susceptible than others. One of my youngest's best friends had constant throat infections and colds until he was about 5. My youngest was ill once. His mum who is my friend will be ill around 4-5 times a year. I'm ill once every 10 years. She's healthy, eats brilliantly (fish and vegetables), exercises. She is diabetic though.

Another friend whose son was constantly ill had his tonsils out and then was much better.

Same here OP, DD2 started nursery in Feb at 12 months and it's been relentless ever since. HF&M, something that turned out to be sixth disease (never heard of it before!), D&V bug after D&V bug, random bloody temperatures. Eldest DD is 5 and just went down with the latest the baby brought home from nursery and revoverd from earlier in the week. May was fucking ridiculous. She didn't do a whole week in nursery ALL MONTH.

Oldest DD got the odd thing at nursery (ear infections were her speciality) but nothing like this. Must be lockdown related I think. The school kids have been worse this year too according to mums who have older kids too.

I completely understand why you're so frustrated and at the end of your tether. We've just spent the weekend on the fucking sofa mainly as DD1 sick and it grinds you down. Praying DD2 doesn't suddenly start the runny poops again tomorrow (when that kid gets diarrhoea she REALLY hangs on to it) or it'll be another week of no nursery (she only goes Mon-Wed). It's a constant worry as I've taken so much leave already. Which is ok this year, ish, because of carried ovef a/l from maternity leave but if it runs on into next year we're fucked. No family care available and no back up so if she's ill, we're off work. No choice.

Hope your DD stays well this week - one week at a time is all we can hope for! ❤️

Ignore all the people implying you're exaggerating/lying/abnormal/neglectful. It's just shite and it's not your fault! X

That has been my experience. The annoyance of having to wait 2-3 days sometimes for a pcr test EVERY TIME they had a cough.

Just reading the last few replies after I posted - we've had a preventer inhaler and it has massively improved his reaction to colds, they won't diagnose asthma until he's older but he's being treated as if he has it (family history too).

And no, there were no instant PCR tests. It usually took 24 hours to get a result, sometimes 48. Once we put him back in nursery after lunch when we got the result back, as we were so desperate for a few hours peace 😂

And while we were certainly careful during Covid, our child was in nursery four days a week bar lockdowns, in a room with 25 other kids - so not keeping away from others at all. When restrictions lifted, illness spread and, as a pp said, nursery became a plague pit.

Repeated chest infections are a bit of a concern. Repeated coughs and colds are very normal even with raised temperatures. If your child is at the stage of needing medical diagnosis and it’s a chest infection, I’d be slightly more concerned that the standard feverish snotty toddler.

Not sure if it has already been mentioned but have you checked if its hay-fever? My little one shows signs of cold and cough and cranky with it. You can medication for over 1s so worth giving a dose on a bad day to see

Hi OP

My children were never that bad but for what its worth I know a few people at work who had kids in lockdown or who were due to go to nursery just after lockdown started and the illnesses have been constant. Absolutely constant.

Also maybe everyone at work doesnt, but I have absolute sympathy for them, they are all feeling awful about the time they're missing at work, they are so run down from looking after poorly kids and are just at the end of their tether. I definitely think missing mixing at the wrong time has had an effect on small childrens immune systems. And different kids get ill a different amount, so above average now feels horrific

Also I wouldnt generally be taking my kids to an event with a temperature of over 38.5. A slight temp then maybe ok but I find at that temp they wont be put down, wont eat etc and are really feeling awful. Maybe some people just give them calpol and carry on but if i was holding an event i wouldn't really want a toddler there with a very high temp whinging all day

I used to work as a nanny and you wouldn’t believe how many parents hired me because they were taking their child out of nursery for this reason. Could you hire a nanny or maybe a childminder, maybe it would be better as there are less children?

How about an outdoor nursery? Just a thought but would be better for ventilation etc.

I think sometimes we over schedule young children and can expect too much of them. After a busy week they often just need to have low key weekends at home - pottering about, helping with gardening / cooking etc and playing out. Early nights. Reading on sofa etc. All these ruined plans you talk of suggests you want to have big exciting weekends full of fun. But the constant illnesses is perhaps meaning more rest is needed. Boring, I know.

And I say this with love and kindness because I know very well what back to back illnesses feels like. It’s awful. I’m currently knee deep in chicken pox and she has been not right for about 3 weeks, long before the spots appeared. We’ve had a cancelled holiday in the past. Multiple times I’ve had to cancel on plans due to being ill, and some really tough times juggling work with an ill child. It’s not fun. But it is life with a small child and they will come out of it with good immune systems by the time they reach school. Maybe try less forward-planning. More living in the moment. It will get better.

Forgot to add, Nannie’s usually look after sick children too (always nice to check though) but you’ll find they’ll rarely have to.

She sounds ill an abnormal amount! I have 2 children, 1 and 3 years old, and they've always got a funny nose or a minor cold (I don't mean literally constantly but certainly every few weeks)... but I'd never say weekends have been 'ruined'. sound like she is very ill a HUGE amount, which is not normal! I'd definitely be going back to GP about this.

Yes, I agree with @Snowpaw – DD does so much at nursery (mandarin, tennis, yoga, dance) not to mention four long days that are longer than an adult’s work day. By Friday, her day home with me, she says “I just want to stay at home today”. We usually do one thing max per three-day weekend: a friend’s party, a museum, or an outing. The rest of the time is quiet pottering, park, garden, just being at home. She’s usually knackered.

All these ruined plans you talk of suggests you want to have big exciting weekends full of fun.

this made me smile. No, we don’t ‘do’ big weekends full of fun - or very rarely. By ‘plans’ I mean a meal at grandparents, going to our (local) beach on a nice day. A picnic or something like that. I was only saying to DH this week that as parents we feel pressure to take them out at the weekends as we don’t see them during the week, but that it’s better for the little ones to relax - we only ever plan activities for Saturday or Sunday and even then it’s one of the activities mentioned above. The other day is CBeebies, just sitting playing on the living room floor and cooking a roast.

Mandarin??? Where does she go to nursery??? By all accounts DD spends her days at nursery refusing to come down from the climbing frame and smearing herself with glitter