In the past 2 years, nursery illness has ruined

[Wouldloveanother]

Every bank holiday bar one. Maybe 15-20 weekends? Both of DH’s birthdays. A weekend away. Too many occasions and plans to even count. I am so done with it, another weekend ruined and I just want to cry.

I understand where you are coming from because my 5yo ds had the same issue up until he turned 5. The only birthday he wasn't ill on was the day he was born. He seems to catch every bug going then brings it home and gives it to me (I have a weakened immune system as I had to have my bowel removed) it does get better eventually and you have my sympathy.

What about you? You have no problem so how does your ‘but we’re fine’ post help me in any way? I started the thread for a bit of solidarity with other mums going through the same thing, not to hear how great everything is for other people.

I offered solidarity in my posts too I wasn't gloating or bragging that my child was fine. However equally on the back of this thread you've acknowledged a few other things you could discuss with her doctors such as her tonsils and to keep asking about asthma.

I truly am sympathetic trust me I know how shit it is to have an unwell child but I just didn't want yourself and others to think this was totally normal.

Of course it could absolutely be normal and she grows out of it but equally it could be a symptom of something more and by just saying it's all fine and all kids get that unwell you may stop thinking she needs some more tests or checks.

I work in a nursery and since covid everything seems to be going round and children seem to be much more ill than Pre covid! My daughter attends and I would also say she has something once a month, although not always with a high temp so we carry on. My eldest son in secondary has also been sick a lot. I wonder if it's because less immunity has been build up and keeping everything clean etc and now everything has relaxed everything is hitting at once.

Part of the course my DS was ill frequently until he was about 10.

I thought you were more worried about the weekends that were ruined ?
Confused now 😖

When I de used to have children I knew that my career would have to wait. My diners out were ruined definitely and also weekends and holidays…
seems like you were not prepared for the reality ?

man’s yeas, everybody warns us about the childcare bugs, it happens for real :(

Frankly, I’m amazing by those who are acting as if this is utterly unbelievable.

Back in the real world, I totally get you OP. I have two DC. The phase between one and three is utterly brutal. My DS went through a stage of six months were he was poorly 50% of the whole time. My DD was the same at that age - I actually counted once and she managed something like 70/120 nursery days. She’s 5 now and has had 2 stomach bugs, 1 bad cold, Covid and chicken pox (with post viral fatigue) all requiring time off school this year. When they are well they are fit, well fed and rested. It is luck of the draw as much as anything. Neither are immuno-compromised. The same pattern amongst my friends who have children in nursery. Some are better than others.

Frankly, I’m amazing by those who are acting as if this is utterly unbelievable Not necessarily unbelievable, but certainly surprising (for me) as, although my boys often have colds, it's rarely anything to stop us all have normal lives day to day. I find it surprising that OP is saying she feels she needs to hand in her notice and something about her career being ruined (I work full time, my kids are in nursery 8-6 daily and I don't think I've had a single day off work for them). Clearly our experiences are very different, but I don't think concerned posters should be condemned for being worried and suggesting there might be an underlying issue! I guess there is a massive spectrum of 'normal'. If my boys starting getting as ill as that, I'd definitely be very concerned.

I am very lucky that my work was and continues to work flexibly around COVID. I can't imagine how hard it has been for working families with small children. Hats off to you all 💐

DH is a teacher and his work is inflexible. DC are older now so I have been able to support team members working at home with small DC.

Stay at home mum is NOT a simple.choice. Childminders here are at capacity, not all extended families offer support.

I've always earned more, it is important that this type.of.emergency is a shared responsibility. We both worked condensed hours opposite one another to reduce nursery days to three per week - Tue to Thur. My OH was responsible for picking up an by staying home half of the time.

When DS was tiny he had in upset stomach when he was teething. At first nursery would.send him home, eventually they kept him there. We potty trained asap and he grew out of it.

Thank you although I take no joy in other people going through this as it is absolutely brutal!

we had a phone GP appointment today and he’s put her on amoxicillin for what we think is an ear infection. I’ve just got into bed absolutely shattered. I’m praying she sleeps through and is better tomorrow morning.

My daughter was the same. She would get chest infection after chest infection plus ear and throat infections and then colds on top. I spat my dummy when she was on the 6th lot of antibiotics in about 8 months. Something wasn't right. I asked the doctor if it could be hay-fever as it always started with a snotty nose. The prescribed antihistamines because piriton was rubbish. In nearly 4 years she's hardly had a cold never mind a chest infection.

Isn't it obvious?

Covid or not, if you've got something big to attend as OP has mentioned, why risk it being cancelled by illness of any kind? If it's already ruined a number of other events as OP says it would make sense to take the precautionary measure of staying home

@Wouldloveanother sorry to hear ' that sounds tough. I think you need to switch nurseries.... perhaps they take her out in the day outside without a proper cardi or coat on, gets wet without being dry again, or too hot in a stuffy room etc. Just general things that some nursery staff with less experience or understaffed have that could make the world of difference . I the amount of illness isn't really that normal ... I've seen first hand some poor kids of friends when I walk the dog past a nursery play outside in the freezing bloody cold without a coat and low and behold chest infections a week later ... you might be surprised how it impacts her if you find a smaller setting thst could be more careful. I might be totally wrong and if I sm hopefully things get better soon - but worth a consideration x

It isn’t at all obvious to me how a working parent could opt to keep a toddler at home for a week before a holiday or big event, no.

*one illness, yeh alright love

imagine shaming a mum at her whitsend because.. her kid gets unwell?!

absolure weirdos on this site.*

Why are you attacking her when she's simply sharing her own experiences and expressing concern for the little girl? I'm afraid it's not her that's coming across as the weirdo... 'love'!

Ok, so I’m thinking to have checked:

1. tonsils


2. hayfever


3. allergies

I sympathise, as a Grandma doing childcare for my DGS , who is in nursery just 2 days midweek,
I feel like I’ve been constantly ill since he started last September, he’s had so many bugs, including Noro, Covid, Chicken pox, Hand foot and mouth etc. and he’s constantly snotty.

I end up being ill and knackered at weekends, mine and DH’s first holiday since 2019 was ruined after I got a horrific sinus /ear infection after a fairly mild cold, that left me completely deaf and dizzy for 2 weeks, I’d just about got over it ( from Easter) and was knocked for six by a cold, or possibly Covid, last week and now my sinuses are bad again. I feel like my immune system is destroyed and I’m praying for the end of term ( DD is a Teacher).

I don’t get it - he has an older half Sister and Brother he sees every weekend so you’d think his immunity would be pretty ok but he’s getting everything from nursery.

Hm. I also wouldn't say this is normal. My son is 23 months and has only been ill 3 times in his life. Lockdown baby too.

Have you had your LO checked out at the docs each time for tonsillitis. My youngest had it constantly. Literally would get better for a couple of weeks and then go down with it, or croup, etc the next week. We had them taken out just before he was 4 and it was like a new world. He’s now rarely I’ll (touch wood) and his immune system copes like a normal child’s would.

You're not alone OP. Currently laid up with the sixth bug in about as many weeks. It's awful since you get the sleeplessness of looking after them and then by the time they are back up and full of beans you're sick yourself. I'm considering taking DD out of nursery for the remaining couple of weeks before summer to avoid yet another virus, I can't go on like this!

Hey OP, I totally get what you’re saying - 4.5yr old DS comes home with a different bug every fortnight at the moment (winter here in Southern Hemisphere). Colds, coughs, croup, RSV.

Surprised by how many commenters are saying they just carry on with your plans. But how can you, in covid times? No one wants you bringing your snotty child anywhere anymore - no one wants to risk getting covid. We keep him home, and we usually catch the bug anyway, and have to cancel stuff too. We missed a family birthday dinner last night because we’re all sneezy. It’s depressing!

*their, not your plans

My family have had about 3 months of various illnesses, sickness, bugs, colds and temperatures. This has included chicken pox which cancelled one birthday and a bout of covid which wiped out my partner though all in the house suffered to varying degrees. I don't think I could manage this over such long period as two years and can see why this would cause a strain mentally.

By the way, for what it’s worth our child eats healthy food, lives in a warm home, always has his chest covered with merino in winter, etc etc. He is an otherwise completely healthy child with all immunisations up to date.

Kindy/preschool is an absolute petri dish of germs and bugs, no matter how well taught the children are to sneeze into elbows and wash hands - I am always witnessing children coughing and sneezing onto each other and absolutely cringeing - but what are you going to do, keep them home forever? My point is - healthy children are still susceptible to catching every bug going round, and it is no wonder OP has been feeling down about it - so am I!!!

DD was the same, and every little bug that she caught would leave her poorly for over a week, not extremely bad but bad enough that we can't really go anywhere. Nothing we could do, and somehow yes it affected a lot of the bank holidays in particular. It may not help right now, but it does get better eventually, or at least less frequent.