In the past 2 years, nursery illness has ruined

[Wouldloveanother]

Every bank holiday bar one. Maybe 15-20 weekends? Both of DH’s birthdays. A weekend away. Too many occasions and plans to even count. I am so done with it, another weekend ruined and I just want to cry.

The lack of money for the mortgage and bills might make it a little more complicated.

And what about those of us who do have a toddler in nursery and know many more and they are not this unwell.

There is clearly a huge scale of normal but this is absolutely at the more extreme end of it. For many children this age its absolutely their normal to not have had repeated hospital admissions, blood work taken and have been prescribed an inhaler.

I do hope that those who have children more prone to catching bugs find it all settles down soon and hopefully they won't be as hard hit when moving into reception. It must be awful to have a child who is poorly to that extent so often. Nevertheless that doesn't mean that other people's opinions are not as valid.

I completely sympathise. When dd was younger and at nursery it felt like one week on, one week off in terms of illness. Usually colds in her case but because of what turned out to be asthma they would hit her hard and invariably involve sickness, high temp and sometimes hospital trips. It was so hard with both DH and I working full time and having to juggle things with either taking unexpected leave or asking grandparents to help in the knowledge they could catch something too. If it makes you feel any better you will hear the ‘it’s good for their immunity’ line till it drives you mad but in my experience it was. She is now only ill, usually mildly, once or twice a term. I found vitamin d chewy vitamins (Peppa pig ones) really helpful too. Sending best, I really get where you are coming from!

My son was exactly the same was a nightmare ruined weekends, constantly having to take days off work to look after him as too poorly to go nursery. After & months couldn’t hack anymore and pulled him out of nursery. Has been loads better since we went to GP about it and Paed who said some kids are just unlucky. He’s going to preschool in March so hoping he’s immune systems improved.

My youngest was like this - but has asthma. Every other week he was unwell. Now 14 and has not been to the doctor for years. They do grow out of it - but it is hard work especially when you are juggling work also. I feel for you.

I’m confused re why a temp is ruining weekends. Give her some painkillers and get on with it.

I wasn't suggesting dose them up and cracked on if they are ill in the sense of they feel ill, are subdued etc

But in my DS case he gets a temp with everything and exposure to anything but will still be happy as Larry running about.

He had a fever for 10 days straight we ended up in hospital due to the time and every Dr who came over said he's fine as he was jolly, eating etc til they took his temp then would go get another thermometer and take it again as they couldn't understand why a 2 year old with 38.8 wasn't complaining about feeling rubbish, conked out etc.

In our case with agreement with the nursery and a drs letter if he has a fever but is well in himself he's allowed to attend because its just him we will give a single dose because he runs around alot (calpol has zero effect on him). If he's ill, subdued not eating says he feels unwell then he stays off. We have a fever every 2 weeks usually. Would never send him with any dv and never if he's feeling unwell.

My post to the OP was simply saying if her DD is like mine then it might be worth the discussion.

It's relentless, OP, I feel your pain. We have an almost 15 month old and between us we have had to take so many days off with her. We both work FT too (well in my case just slightly less than FT but not by much), so it's utterly exhausting and I do worry about our jobs at times. We have no family help nearby so we literally take it in turns to be off with her. Our GP told me I should expect a new viral infection every 4-6 weeks at her age. 🙈 not quite sure how that's conducive to a working life, but there you go! 😩

How will this help? My DD has a childminder rather than nursery, has done since she was 8 months (she's 15 months now). She's picked up every illness going and I'm still not able to send her to the childminder if she's got a temp or is unwell.

I haven’t had time to read all the responses but do check asthma out. As I said youngest has been okay for years, he has had covid twice without a hint of a cough or wheeze. Not used inhalers for years either but it never goes away and a night time cough is a sign. He was on his way to school the other day and felt sick/faint. Nurse checked him out, his oxygen levels were low (probably triggered by high pollen), and he is now back on a inhaler. If she has asthma it will need to be managed or every cold/cough may go to her chest. Good luck.

You would give your child calpol if they had a 39 degree temperature and felt poorly, and just take them out anyway?

What about you? You have no problem so how does your ‘but we’re fine’ post help me in any way? I started the thread for a bit of solidarity with other mums going through the same thing, not to hear how great everything is for other people.

Lol wouldn’t it just

Thanks for the kind posts I am reading them all and appreciate the solidarity.

Do try some probiotics for children there are widely available in every pharmacy:)

Sorry I bet this will be unpopular but when/if the odd time we had a big plan we wouldn't send them

Even last year, DH and I finally got married, after cancelling in 2020 due to Rona restrictions. I pulled out DCs out of school for the week.

School knew. They said not one word. And it was proven to be the correct thing to do as DCs mate who was due to attend and was in the same class as DC was given an isolation notice, as were their whole class group, so DC would've had to self isolate too meaning the wedding would've been cancelled two days before.

Noone has ever complained.

My eldest now 12, was always sick when younger up until age 6. Got tonsils out, and it was a game changer!! Has barely had a cough since!

Have you kept a food and drinks diary. I am constantly unwell with a high temperature and various other symptoms on a regular basis if I eat or drink anything I am allergic to. If I stick to a very strict diet my symptoms disappear or are minimal. There is a huge increase in allergies and intolerances. Could your child be suffering from something similar. If your child is always unwell this could possibly be the cause. I am allergic to wheat gluten dairy sugar and anything artificial and a whole list of foods. Try only fruit veg salads seeds and nuts for a few days then introduce one item such as bread or pasta and if the symptoms flare up you could have the reason for so many symptoms. Try no tap water only bottled and see if the symptoms calm down or go away. My son was the same when he was little luckily he has now grown out of it but I have grown more severe over time. Let us know how you go on.

how Did this work out with toddlers and work before covid?

I understand @Wouldloveanother . It’s brutal to see them go through it over and over physically, to have to fight off repeated bugs yourself and to try really hard to be happy and positive on the seemingly rare moments of it going according to plan.

And the repeated cancellations and hospital stays (in our case over a week at a time) are brutal - on you, your little one, your relationships, your ability to maintain friendships, your ability to plan anything. It’s hard also because (much like some of the doubters on this thread), it feels like a lot of other parents are judging you - surely you give your DC Calpol, OP? Are you sure it’s not your health anxiety? Does DC have a good diet and a multivitamin? Can’t you just carry on anyway?🙄

I’m told it gets better. If you are worried, I don’t think you would be out of line to push for a few more tests or a referral to paediatrics.

It probably isn't this, as your DD is likely to be too young, but...

My DD (now 21) always, always had a high temperature, lethargy etc the day before something exciting happened (Christmas, her birthday, holidays, parties etc). We'd be running round with last minute preparations and she'd be under a duvet on the sofa looking awful. She also reacted the same way if something bad happened (the day she broke a window is memorable!) We'd always be worried sick about plans being ruined due to her seeming really ill. We came to realise that what appeared to be illness was her system responding to extreme emotions. She literally did "make herself ill". Is it possible that your DD reacts to you getting ready for your weekend plans and gets so het up, either with excitement or worry, that the same thing happens?

I can list several, but notably…my son coming down with norovirus on the way to a close friends funeral. Really sad I missed that!

I am with you OP. I have a 2.5 year old and since last August we’ve had 2 sickness bugs, covid, chicken pox and maybe 15 coughs, colds etc and maybe 7-8 visits to A&E with respiratory problem. Also both holidays this year and he’s had temperatures of 40.
I was at the point of quitting my job because I was having so much time off and it’s massively effected my mental health too. I also have a 4 year old and she was never this bad! We keep getting told it’s covid and the lockdown! Makes you not want to plan anything!

I am so with you OP. I got the phone call from
nursery at 3 today after yet another weekend trashed. He had been normal temp this morning- who knows what tomorrow brings but I am so so done. This time it’s going to bugger up dd as one parent will have to stay home when there’s a secondary school open day.

He’s sick so often it averages out as every 3 weeks a fever brings him down. Then one parent or other is stuck in the house. We’re making no progress on anything, house looks like a tip. I feel like I’m drowning at work as I just about feel as if I get back on track then he’s sick again. I send you masses of sympathy. Let’s hope this is nearly done and our kids have immune systems of steel very, very shortly.

Maybe try a fully outdoor nursery?

Both my DC attended one and were rarely ill. Far fewer bugs if you spend every day outside from 8am-6pm.