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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want in law's down when we're sick.

96 replies

Mollie5 · 02/07/2022 12:22

Me DH and our toddler have been sick for the last few days. We've all had lack of sleep and been vomitting etc and just been resting.

Currently I am in my PJs and I stink of fever and just look really bad, been awake all night as our toddler has just wanted to be held.

My MIL who is very judgemental is coming round for the day with SIL, BIL and FIL to see us. She specifically said she's coming to see DH and DD. We have a small house and are lying down on the sofa and the house is a mess. In the past she has snooped around my house to see if there's any dirt etc when I usually keep my house clean. How am we supposed to rest when we only have limited space and they're all coming.

I feel really overwhelmed with everything and the last thing I want is all of them around.

It's too late to say anything because they said they're on their way. They live in the nearby village.

I don't know what I expect from putting this up but I just needed somewhere to rant, I feel so exhausted today.

OP posts:
ShandaLear · 02/07/2022 12:24

It’s your DH’s mother therefor his problem, not yours. Go back to bed and leave him to sort it. If he doesn’t then that’s on him, not you.

Chamomileteaplease · 02/07/2022 12:25

Of course not. Why didn't you text them before they left?

You could still text now and say sorry for short notice but please don't come, we will have to see you another day.

If it's too late and they turn up, turn them away at the door with apologies.

If they haven't come far, it's not the end of the world. Good luck!

endofagain · 02/07/2022 12:26

Message her and tell them you are all vomiting and feverish so won't be answering the door.
Alternatively let them come and just don't move from where you are. Maybe they will surprise you and roll up their sleeves and help.

Aquamarine1029 · 02/07/2022 12:26

You can say NO, op. Don't be a doormat.

Freddiefox · 02/07/2022 12:28

Why can’t you or dh tell her? Speak up

Fizbosshoes · 02/07/2022 12:28

What does your DH think? If they're in the next village it won't be too far out of their way?
Why would they want yo expose themselves to the germs anyway?

Flowerymess · 02/07/2022 12:29

Just go to bed and sleep it off. Ask DH to take them all out for a walk, park trip, lunch whatever.

Original poster
Mollie5 · 02/07/2022 12:29

I do feel like a doormat, part of me feels like tidying up even though I'm unwell then the other half of me is thinking F it and them and take DD up in bed and go to sleep.

OP posts:
Crocky · 02/07/2022 12:30

Go to bed and take your child with you. Are they all happy to catch the bug and make themselves I’ll?!

Notimeforaname · 02/07/2022 12:31

She specifically said she's coming to see DH and DD
You get yourself into bed. They're not your parents and they specifically didn't come to see you.
Rest up. Your husband can see to them.
Hope you feel better soon.

bellac11 · 02/07/2022 12:32

Do they know there is a vomiting bug in the house, I would have thought its right for your husband to tell them so that they dont arrive and expose themselves to it (thats aside from the other issues about their visiting issues)

Weirdlynormal · 02/07/2022 12:35

Go to bed

Original poster
Mollie5 · 02/07/2022 12:36

They know we've been vomitting etc for some reason it doesn't bother them.

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 02/07/2022 12:37

Just go upstairs and leave it to them

You are ill - and your DH presumably is not so why isnt he tidying up

BlanketsBanned · 02/07/2022 12:43

Your dh whould step up, answer the door, tell them you are ill, not let them in and take them out instead. If he doesnt then fuck them all take yourself and dc up to bed, take some water and crackers and keep the door closed.

bellac11 · 02/07/2022 12:48

BlanketsBanned · 02/07/2022 12:43

Your dh whould step up, answer the door, tell them you are ill, not let them in and take them out instead. If he doesnt then fuck them all take yourself and dc up to bed, take some water and crackers and keep the door closed.

Well it would be sods law that the toddler starts shouting or crying or might even say 'I want to go downstairs' and this is oveheard by the inlaws who take it as OP forcing the child to withdraw

I wouldnt want anyone visiting in my home if I wasnt well and in bed, that feels veyr intrusive.

JennyForeigner · 02/07/2022 12:51

Oh FGS, we all have a responsibility in society to avoid catching bugs if we can. We've just had the vom bug in a house full of toddlers. It was vile and these bugs are so easily passed on.

Tell them you have been so ill that you couldn't live with yourself if you found out DH was incubating it and he passed it on. But honestly, there is entitled and there is just childish and stupid.

Cstring · 02/07/2022 12:55

I’m sorry but they sound like idiots. Who in their right mind wants to impose themselves on I’ll people and probably catch a vomiting bug themselves? I’d be telling them this.

KosherDill · 02/07/2022 13:03

Why can't your husband text them to say it won't work???

waveyourpompoms · 02/07/2022 13:04

It’s not too late. You just don’t open the door 🤷‍♀️

OtiMama · 02/07/2022 13:07

Just no... with a vomiting bug it is all round irresponsible. Even if you felt fine you should still be leaving it a couple of days.
They are stupid for wanting to come round but equally your DH shouldn't be allowing this. It's not fair on you and not fair on everyone they could then share it with.

Flowerymess · 02/07/2022 13:07

Just because you're driven to clean out of a fear of being judged doesn't mean you aren't being a doormat. Tell your husband what you need and make it happen.

LaurieFairyCake · 02/07/2022 13:07

Just make sure you give them nice big hugs when they arrive before you go to bed

Herejustforthisone · 02/07/2022 13:08

Why is your husband subjecting his sick wife and child to this intrusion??

ClinkeyMonkey · 02/07/2022 13:11

Please just go to bed and let your husband deal with this. Seriously, don't lift a finger. There is something seriously wrong with anyone who wants to barge into a house full of sick people. My MIL is very difficult, but even she wouldn't put herself at risk of catching a vomiting bug.