To not want in law's down when we're sick.

[Mollie5]

Me DH and our toddler have been sick for the last few days. We've all had lack of sleep and been vomitting etc and just been resting.

Currently I am in my PJs and I stink of fever and just look really bad, been awake all night as our toddler has just wanted to be held.

My MIL who is very judgemental is coming round for the day with SIL, BIL and FIL to see us. She specifically said she's coming to see DH and DD. We have a small house and are lying down on the sofa and the house is a mess. In the past she has snooped around my house to see if there's any dirt etc when I usually keep my house clean. How am we supposed to rest when we only have limited space and they're all coming.

I feel really overwhelmed with everything and the last thing I want is all of them around.

It's too late to say anything because they said they're on their way. They live in the nearby village.

I don't know what I expect from putting this up but I just needed somewhere to rant, I feel so exhausted today.

People can stick up for themselves, but in-laws have as thick a skin as ever. What seems like a perfectly good reason to call off a visit to one side can lead to a much more snipey and long lasting argument that chalks up other small 'slights' in future, where some families are concerned.

Get DH to text and say “ by the way you’ll have to take us as you find us as we’ve been so unwell we’ve not had time or energy to do our usual cleaning” the they can’t judge as you’ve already acknowledged tha things are a mess and the reason. If they are decent people they’ll understand if not who cares!

Why is your 'DH' not sorting this?

Why on earth is your DH not saying something to them? If he would say something that would probably be best. However, if he doesn't think he can tell his mother, father and brother to say away, then it will be up to you and you can either see them or not but no one will make you if you don't want to.

If I were you, I'd greet them at the door (if they haven't already arrived) looking the worst I could possibly look, really tired, coughing, with toddler on hip, hair a mess, pj's on, (preferably with vomit residue on them) saying "Hi MiL, FiL, BiL, We really can't have you in today, we've picked up a bug and don't know how serious it is so we wouldn't dream of taking liberties at this stage of the pandemic with your health so we'll be in touch when it's safer for you to visit"

I hope you did the latter here.

Why the hell would anyone want to be near someone vomiting? Wait, they'll get sick and blame you.

I run a mile from any vomiting bugs! Why would they want to visit knowing you're sick.

Get them to take your child out to the park or a cafe while you get some rest.

@Mariposista the child has the vomiting bug too

Oh goodness.
It's a nightmare.
Let them come and catch it

Have they gone yet?

Don’t tidy up, don’t cater to them and take yourself off to bed to lie down after 5 mins.
How rude that they would impose on you knowing how ill you all are.
Let DH entertain them. He should have had the stones to tell them to take a rain check.

If they were coming to be helpful - you know, do some washing, tidy the kitchen, bring you some supplies - that would be different.

But coming specifically to see your DH and DC, when everyone in the house is ill? Bonkers. And also rude to say they’re (only) coming to see them, excluding you.

Why didn't you tell them first thing that the visit could not happen?

What weird people, you couldn’t pay me any amount to take myself and my family to a home where a sickness bug is ongoing.

Hope you've had a lovely afternoon in bed OP. You're not a doormat. Some people can be quite harsh on here. It's not always easy making your point heard when you're are sick and they completely overrule whatever you say. Xxx

Sorry it’s covid ... go away

Why on earth hasn’t your DH said no to this? He’s also been ill, right? What part of ‘No, it’s not convenient because all three of us are ill and in bed’ is so complicated?

If they do come round, I suggest they look after your vomiting child while you and DP go to bed.

Lick them all on the forehead, then beat a hasty retreat up to bed. That’ll teach them 😂

I thought I was still on a thread about cats when I read this reply!🤣

They know you’ve all been vomiting and yet still invited themselves over without even giving you any notice? Fuck that. I would just take myself off to bed and leave your DH to it. She’s made it clear she’s not coming to see you anyway so 🤷🏻‍♀️