To not want in law's down when we're sick.

[Mollie5]

Me DH and our toddler have been sick for the last few days. We've all had lack of sleep and been vomitting etc and just been resting.

Currently I am in my PJs and I stink of fever and just look really bad, been awake all night as our toddler has just wanted to be held.

My MIL who is very judgemental is coming round for the day with SIL, BIL and FIL to see us. She specifically said she's coming to see DH and DD. We have a small house and are lying down on the sofa and the house is a mess. In the past she has snooped around my house to see if there's any dirt etc when I usually keep my house clean. How am we supposed to rest when we only have limited space and they're all coming.

I feel really overwhelmed with everything and the last thing I want is all of them around.

It's too late to say anything because they said they're on their way. They live in the nearby village.

I don't know what I expect from putting this up but I just needed somewhere to rant, I feel so exhausted today.

Gosh why would they want to see you if you are unwell, especially a vomiting bug? They are clearly a bit stupid anyway. Personally I'd have just messaged sorry you can't come round, I have done the same in the past with my in laws for similar reasons (during covid my in laws constantly tried to visit), they no longer speak to me now though just to add.

Also, perhaps I shouldnt say this, but I cant understand why a person would want to visit a 'sick' house, even if not for the risk of catching anything but you know that smell of bleach/disinfectant mixed with vomit... bleugh

You're allowed to be a doormat when you're ill.
I can't believe someone upthread said that to you.

Who the fuck has the wherewithal to make a point when they are feeling like death?

OP, go to bed, close the door and stay there.
If the house is a mess that's down to your DH. You're ill, he should be sorting it.

Absolutely say no op what's wrong with you !!!

Failing that take dd upto bed and shut the door.

Leave the house a shit hole and if they get the bug it serves them right.

Assholes

I'm ill. I feel like shit and i look like shit and i don't want bloody visitors in the house right now.

is what you say to 'D'H.

I'm sorry if there's been a mix up. I'm ill, i feel awful and i'd prefer not to have visitors in the house today so if we could re-arrange i'd be grateful. Thank you. Speak soon.

is what you text to in-laws.

The inlaws are probably already at OPs house anyway, she said they had already left and are in a nearby village, so hopefully OP is surviving their intrusion

It's hardly an arduous journey for them so they can turn right round and go home. They said, I don't know if anyone else parents who'd willingly go to visit someone who was clearly so I'll

*ill

OP I certainly wouldn’t want visitors round when I’m unwell with a vomiting bug.

YANBU. Tell them you are all ill and that they will have to leave their visit to another time. I’d only have them round it it was something absolutely urgent!

Apart from anything else, do they really want to come round when your household is sick and risk catching the bug themselves?

Ffs get a back bone! Say YOU don’t want it! Why would they want to see you and vice versa if you’re vomiting?! Makes no sense at all.

Vomit on them?

How am we supposed to rest when we only have limited space and they're all coming.

For me that would be the main issue.

If ILs wanted to visit & my husband wanted to see them, if I could just be left alone to sleep/rest it might be acceptable.

Are BIL/SIL on a rare visit?

Or is it just that MIL wanted it today so it happens today?

If your daughter feels tired/unwell will she be able to come & rest/sleep with you or expected to stay with MIL for the duration of the visit?

I hope OP is sick all over their feet when they turn up.

I hope OP is in bed but I suspect she’s tidying up after them.

I’m sorry, but who are you…Mr & Mrs Doormat?

The only way to play this is the second she comes in cough like crazy and tell her sorry the place is in a mess and you hope it’s not Covid. Hopefully she’ll run!!!!!?

I’m sorry, but who are you…Mr & Mrs Doormat?
She’s sick!! Leave her alone!!!!

No much better to slop about in stained, smelly PJs, sit around near the inlaws and make retching noises, carry a sick bucket around with you, put it right near her feet when she sits on the sofa and sit near her, make moans and groans and hold your tummy.

They're probably already there as OP said quite a while ago that they live in a nearby village and are on their way.

The issue is that OP seems to regard cleaning the house is her job, which is weird, since another adult lives in the house. And it’s his rude parents that are visiting.

Paint a red cross on the door
MIL might be old enough to remember the black death and know it means to keep away.

Tell them they need to go back home; you're all ill! Unless they'd flatly refuse to do so (in which case don't open the door), there's no dilemma here
Don't make such heavy weather about things.

Go to bed, leave DD and DH to it. They may learn some boundaries if they are vomited on and become ill themselves.

You could always leave a mop and bucket leaning conspicuously against a wall in the lounge or a sizeable wet patch on a sofa cushion if you can do that without spoiling your seat, and say 'Oh, unfortunately it's not going to be very nice to sit in here for a bit; you'd better take picnic things and go and have a walk.' Based on something I had to do when newish baby really had decorated almost all the seat cushions fairly copiously, just before a visitor came to see her.

What has happened that means people can’t stick up for themselves?

This is so bizarre.