Should a male teacher have done this?

[mycatisannoying]

During a residential school trip, enter a girls' shared dorm to wake them up?
To my mind it's a safeguarding issue, and there was also a female teacher on the trip who could have done it.
I wanted to seek others' opinions before raising it.
Thanks.

But if you really believe without question that a teacher behaved exactly as described re the mobile phone incident, without any justification whatsoever, then you seem intent on blaming a teacher just because he is male

I'm not in the least bit interested in the phone incident. I referred to it simply because you gave it as the reason for disbelieving the OP. I've said upthread that it's irrelevant.

I'm 'blaming him because he's male'?

I'm blaming him because he walked into a dorm of sleeping girls. He is to blame for his actions. And if he wasn't male, I doubt there would be a thread about it.

I'm a knocker too, always knock before entering ds's bedroom - the last thing either of us want me to witness is some 'in flagrante' situation (he doesn't have many friends round, fyi).

Did OP say the teacher didn't knock? I don't think he/she did and, after all, OP wasn't there so maybe OP should find out what the other girls' parent's knowlege of the 'incident' is. And hear things 2nd hand, via 13 yr old minds, just like the OP did.

Then guage the Mr ? is creepy levels - it's a natural sense (call it Pervdar) that kept a lot of girls safe from the pervs when it was an unmentionable.

@SirChenjins - you really believe no parent would complain about their child being unfairly accused of having a mobile phone the parent knew them not to have? My experience is that parents complain about things like this with great alacrity.

It's not fine, see upthread.

It could be either.

The teacher has a string of occasions when he has crossed boundaries.

Or, he has told a teen girl off perfectly properly, and she and her mother resent it.

I don't think any of us has enough information to decide either way, and the details shouldn't be put on a public forum.

Address any complaints/ concerns to the school, giving details.

cos its honestly not clear

So soz. Read my other 12 posts. As someone who was molested by my teacher at the age of 10, I find it upsetting to see the hundreds of posts minimising and excusing and bending over backwards to find fantasy reasons this man's behaviour was just fine. The fact my last comment followed one of these made it clear enough, in my view. Apparently not!

The fact my last comment followed one of these made it clear enough, in my view. Apparently not!

nope not clear

i am so sorry that happened to you and agree completely

Unless you think the OP is lying when she says that he entered the dorm. I’m sure you’ll agree that if he did then safeguarding regs have been breached.

Is it OK for a male teacher to wake up 13 year-old girls when they are asleep in class?

In any case, 13 year-olds don't like being woken up by anybody.

Oh dear…

It wouldn’t bother me.

as nor would a female teacher waking up teenage boys.

did a female teacher wake up the boys on this trip? Just out of curiosity??

also how did he wake them? Did he enter the room and shout? As I. Wake up?!

I remember a time, way back when, it what was you did, rather than what you are that counted - it was a time that lasted probably no more than 5 years really.

During that time, despite all the wrong things going on, specifically in regards to what women (and some men) dealt with, there was the real chance that despite your gender, being a female didn't completely stop you from overcoming barriers, although having dc would just as it does now.

Yes progress has been made in accepting differences - but progress has yet to be made within the sphere of women accepting that men can also care for dc as well as women can, sometimes better.

It used to be that if you were a Woman that dug great holes and/or played Rugby you were called a "dyke", not so much now. So that progress is hollow if a man that cares/teaches, etc for dc now is mostly called a "perv".

13 y.o. girls don't wear itty bitty pyjamas when they are asleep in class, only when they are asleep in bed. Unless you're privy to what they were wearing when the teacher went in or you think they were wearing a snowsuit in June? Would that make it ok then, if they were covered in a burkha too?

@TheHateIsNotGood Men can care for DC but not in a confined space when these DC are potentially naked and when we're talking about girls who are not their children and who are still at a vulnerable age.
Your posts are getting more and more peculiar every minute!

So that progress is hollow if a man that cares/teaches, etc for dc now is mostly called a "perv"

Do you really think that's what's happening?

Do you read this thread and honestly think the teacher has been 'mostly called a perv'?

They haven't. They've said his behaviour re entering the girls space is against sensible safeguarding.

They could have been changing or not fully clothed.

It's not sensible for a male to enter that room, to mitigate the (small) risk he is doing so because he has inappropriate intent, to try to ensure girls feel safe and not vulnerable, and also to prevent any accusations against him.

It's not that complicated. He didn't adhere to sensible safeguarding principles. That shows poor judgment. It would be helpful to the girls involved and to him for him not to do this again.

As an example, women want to have dignity, privacy and safety when using a bathroom.

Therefore men don't share single sex bathroom spaces.

Not because all men are dangerous, but because some are and we can't tell which ones are, so single sex spaces mitigate risk despite not all men being dangerous.

Some are. So we have risk assessed and made rules accordingly.

A man who takes issue with that doesn't understand the experiences many women have throughout their lives.

So that progress is hollow if a man that cares/teaches, etc for dc now is mostly called a "perv"

I've never experienced anyone calling a man a 'perv' for being a teacher or being in a caring profession. Not on this thread, not in the real world.

Ah I'd better bow out then if my views are seen as peculiar and odd. First sign of madness they say - thinking you're right and speaking sense whilst all around are wrong.

Maybe that's my 60 year old womb - it only produced one dc in the end - it was lucky to do that really given the endo, ecto and etc. Maybe I should have taken some HRT and I'd be less peculiar and odd.

But thank goodness I'm not a bloke in 2022.

Nighty night MNetters

So that progress is hollow if a man that cares/teaches, etc for dc now is mostly called a "perv"

This thread is becoming ridiculous. Male teachers are not mostly called" pervs "because most male teachers behave in a professional way when working. No male teacher, who had any sense would ever enter a room where adolescent girls were sleeping unless it was an emergency. Likewise female secondary teachers would not intrude on adolescent boys , if a male teacher were available. Safeguarding rules are there for the protection of students and teachers and any teacher who flouts them should be put straight.

A man who takes issue with that doesn't understand the experiences many women have throughout their lives

Yes. Most men don't struggle with the idea of women-only spaces (Most? I hope it's most).

When a man doesn't respect those boundaries or is he flouts the safeguarding measures pertaining to one of those spaces, when he deliberately imposes himself in one of them, that's a problem.

I would find it odd that he would put himself at risk of accusations.

If I was him I would knock loudly, open the door halfway, staying on the other side of it so out of sight of the girls, and call out that it was time to get up. Then I would shut the door and leave. Then I would go back, not open the door but knock on it and remind them.

He is putting himself at risk by doing what he did so yes I would expect a teacher who has had the appropriate training to not behave as he did.

Safeguarding rules are there for the protection of students and teachers
For the protection of teachers too! People are forgetting that. It's not like all teenagers are bloody perfect, some are little psycopaths! And I read yesterday how some start in primary school to display poor judgement.
A baseless accusation against a teacher can end a career even if they end up proving they're innocent. Who will risk having a teacher like that in their school?
@TheHateIsNotGood Nobody's implying all men are pervs! Times have changed. Years ago young kids could play outside until dark and now they're not even safe walking to school. Years ago, talk of female abusers was unheard of and just last week I read about 2 or 3 on trials for grooming kids. The point is, pervs are everywhere and they can literally be anyone!

You won't win with some people. FWIW I think it was highly inappropriate.

Because this happened.with no parent present.

This is beyond ridiculous and irresponsible of the OP.

The OP has not clarified or given details about how this teacher behaved inappropriately. Yet this teacher has been accused on here of all sorts. This is how people destroy innocent people’s lives.

The thread has gone on and on. Speculating about this teacher’s character and even potential criminality. Yet the OP’s charge against the teacher is vague and her motive is questionable.