Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For taking an outfit into school for mufti day when I forgot?

87 replies

WhatsHoppening · 01/07/2022 13:49

DD is in reception. Turned up today and it was a mufti (free dress) day and I had forgotten. DD was a bit tearful but alright. On the walk home I decided to drop in a home clothes outfit so she wasn’t left out all day (2 min detour from my planned morning shop). I haven’t seen her yet but I know she will be happy to wear her own clothes.
Was chatting to my friend over coffee and told her about my forgetfulness and she called me a melt and a pushover and said I was spoiling DD. If it had been a working day I wouldn’t have bought a spare outfit as I’d be dashing to work but it was minimal effort on my part and I know DD would appreciate it. Now I feel really silly and I’m worried the reception staff will think I’m weird for doing that. So

YABU it was a mistake she would have got over it and learnt I’m not perfect etc
YANBU she’s 5 and for a small effort she is now happier all day

OP posts:
VainAbigail · 01/07/2022 13:52

I’ve done the same in the past!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 01/07/2022 13:52

Of course, of course you were right to do as you did!

She’s in reception. These things are really important when they’re so tiny. You forgot, it wasn’t her job to remember at that age. It’s not “soft touch” to remedy your own mistake.

Soft touch if a teenager forgot mufti day or to tell you about food tech ingredients needed or something. Soft touch if she’d been in some way naughty and you went back on a consequence, yes. But not to remedy your own error.

Your friend is being an idiot.

KyaClark · 01/07/2022 13:54

I'd do the same for my son. So would my husband.

AnnesBrokenSlate · 01/07/2022 13:55

I've done the exact same. It was my mistake so I fixed it. I don't think that's spoiling.

negomi90 · 01/07/2022 13:56

Doing little things to make people happy is not spoiling them.
She's 5, it isn't her fault you forgot mufti day, and even if she were older and remembering was her responsibility, dropping off clothes would still be a nice thing to do and wouldn't spoil her.
How can we teach children to be considerate and encourage spontaneous acts of niceness if we don't do them ourselves?

You took 2 mins out of your day to do a lovely thing for your daughter. That is good parenting.

Paddingtonsmarmlade · 01/07/2022 13:56

I would of done the same.

Oreosareawful · 01/07/2022 13:57

Exactly the same happened to us today, only it was my husband doing the drop off. He popped home to get dd a suitable outfit and returned to school with it ten mins later.

DD will be much happier

Tothepoint99 · 01/07/2022 13:59

You did the right thing.

Does your friend have kids??

Lindy2 · 01/07/2022 13:59

I'd have done the same too - even if it was a longer detour.

I expect many other parents have done the same in the past.

Does your friend have children and understand what being a good parent actually entails?

You weren't spoiling your daughter you were taking her the right clothes for her school day.

BriocheForBreakfast · 01/07/2022 13:59

I'd have done the same as you

Allnostalgic · 01/07/2022 14:00

Your friend is a nob to be honest.

Of course you're not spoiling your dd.

People who equate love and kindness with spoiling are a bit wrong in the head imo.

Dajeeling · 01/07/2022 14:02

Eh?! I don’t get your friend’s viewpoint at all unless it’s just a daft throwaway comment. At 5 they can’t organise themselves so you are remedying something you have forgotten anyway.

piglet81 · 01/07/2022 14:03

Is your ‘friend’ always such a cow?

ItsJustASimpleLine · 01/07/2022 14:05

I'd have done the same whatever age they were, if you can make them smile do it!

Sarahcoggles · 01/07/2022 14:06

Any decent parent would do this if they were able to and it was their fault for forgetting. I hope your friend changes a bit before she has kids, and if she has them already then I feel sorry for them.

Minikievs · 01/07/2022 14:06

I have done the same and would again. Ignore your friend

WhereTheLightMeetsTheSea · 01/07/2022 14:07

You did the right thing. I hope you’re friend doesn’t have kids.

WhereTheLightMeetsTheSea · 01/07/2022 14:07

your

ohlookout · 01/07/2022 14:08

Your friend is an idiot, any caring parent would have done the same.

spiderlight · 01/07/2022 14:09

I'd have done the same. It's not 'soft' to be kind and make her happy, especially when it was your mistake (easily made though!)

thefirstmrsrochester · 01/07/2022 14:10

I’ve done this countless times with my DC, because it was me who forgot, and therefore my responsibility to put right.

If your friend doesn’t have kids, then she sounds a bit clueless. If she does have kids, she sounds like a bit of a knob.

Etinoxaurus · 01/07/2022 14:10

I’ve been the teacher with a child in the reception class who’d forgotten it was world book day. I felt for her and would have been delighted if she’d had clothes dropped off (I was wearing a dog head hat and paws and she borrowed them for the day)
Your friend is a nob!

Shinyandnew1 · 01/07/2022 14:10

As a teacher-don’t even think about it-parents do this all the time! We often have have bags of clothes brought round from the office to change into when parents have raced home and dropped something back in.

Obviously it’s different if you work, it wouldn’t be possible, but why would you not want them to be happy and comfortable if you can help!

SickKid · 01/07/2022 14:11

I used to work in a school and this was totally normal! My dad did lots of kind things for me when I was even at secondary school. I think I've turned out OK and I have really fond and happy memories of my dad doing nice things for me.

CecilyP · 01/07/2022 14:13

Now I feel really silly and I’m worried the reception staff will think I’m weird for doing that.

Don't worry about feeling silly. When both I and DS were that age, every day was mufti day. Now it is such a big thing, I think it perfectly reasonable for you to want your DD to partake.