For taking an outfit into school for mufti day when I forgot?

[WhatsHoppening]

DD is in reception. Turned up today and it was a mufti (free dress) day and I had forgotten. DD was a bit tearful but alright. On the walk home I decided to drop in a home clothes outfit so she wasn’t left out all day (2 min detour from my planned morning shop). I haven’t seen her yet but I know she will be happy to wear her own clothes.
Was chatting to my friend over coffee and told her about my forgetfulness and she called me a melt and a pushover and said I was spoiling DD. If it had been a working day I wouldn’t have bought a spare outfit as I’d be dashing to work but it was minimal effort on my part and I know DD would appreciate it. Now I feel really silly and I’m worried the reception staff will think I’m weird for doing that. So

YABU it was a mistake she would have got over it and learnt I’m not perfect etc
YANBU she’s 5 and for a small effort she is now happier all day

Fair enough if she was old enough to remember herself, then I'd say tough shit bit she's still only little!

I don't know what a mufti or a 'free' dress is but if I forget something for school and my kid is disappointed I put it right.

How is righting a mistake 'spoiling' them?

I'd have done the same. Your friend was ridiculous and dramatic.

Absolutely she’s 5! It was a mistake on my part not hers!

Eh? Kind, helpful, caring, thoughtful - yes. Spoiling - no.

Oh, it a non-uniform day!! Doh.

Yeah, I'd totally take in different clothes, bless 'em!!

Of course you did the right thing.

We've gone back with forgotten swimming kit (my fault) once, it's a 50 minute round trip. It's not spoiling, it's what parents do

I did it for dd when she was in year 2. The happy look she gave me when I handed her bag of clothes to her made me glad I did.

Of course you did the right thing!
DD ( usually very reliable) forgot to take a vital piece of A level work to school.
i arranged for a taxi to pick it up from the front office of my school and deliver it to her’s as I was working that day.
It’s what a loving parent does.

I thought "mufti" was an RAF, or at least military, term that has moved into general use, rather like bumph (sp?).
Jamie Rednapp uses "melt" all the time on the telly and he's neither Irish or northern, more Essex!

I offered to take a forgotten PE kit round for my Year 10 DS yesterday and pass it to him over the fence at lunchtime. He was horrified at the prospect of me interacting with him within a ten-mile radius of the school, though, so I didn't have to!

The only thing any normal person would think is that you are a good mother! It’s exactly what a good Mum does. I’d be concerned about your friendship-she’s wrong.

We had a spate of various themed days within weeks and we forgot about one. I got a phonecall from school to ask for an outfit for DS2 as he was upset. DS1 wasn't bothered. It was a 15 minute job to sort it out and take it in and DS2 had a much happier day for it and appreciated the effort I'd made.

And I agree that you did the right thing. I don't like this puritanical approach that children, whatever age, should have unpleasant but avoidable experiences to learn something, I don't know what. I used to get some criticism for driviing DD to school. I wasn't doing anything else, except drinking tea which could wait, and we had some of the best conversations then or just listened to crap on the radio together.

I've done this (also reception) even though doing so made me 15 minutes late for work. I rang my manager to let her know what had happened and she told me to absolutely drop the clothes off to dd.

She's mad. People are always bringing things in for children. Water bottles, PE kits, raincoats. Nobody thinks it's even slightly strange.

Or ringing up with messages like 'grandma will be picking up Mo tonight' or 'tell Charlie he needs to be at the front of the line at home time as he has a dentist appointment'.

You did the right thing.
In year 5 my DS hated the idea of non-uniform day and was only happy wearing his uniform to school. So I sent him in uniform. I mentioned this to his teacher before the day.

When I picked him up his face was like thunder and he had a terrible day because his (replacement) teacher had made him wear a spare fancy dress outfit she had in the cupboard.

After that we used to agree on an outfit that wasn't uniform so that the teacher couldn't make him wear something he felt very silly in.

He grew out of it by year 10, 😆when he suddenly embraced the silliness of "Crocs and Socks" days, and World Book Day where he and his mates dressed up as different characters from the same book.

You have 100% done the right thing, she's in reception not Year 11!
Ignore your (what seems to be a rather vile) friend, you did right by your child.

My high school age kids forget stuff sometimes and if there's time I'll detour to drop stuff to them. Sometimes I'm already on my way to work and it's bad luck.
In reception it's a parents responsibility to remember this stuff (and I say this as someone who - more than once- saw kids pass our house on their way to school, realised it was sports day/dress up day and quickly got my own kids changed!) so no, not unreasonable to take clothes.

Oh I'd definitely have done that for a 5 year old if I wasn't tied up with work etc. Different when it is a teen who needs to remember things for themself!

🤣🤣🤣
My (year 11) DD forgot her house keys after doing an exam recently. I was at work so I told her to go back to school and ask to get her brothers set of keys. They were both appalled as they had to break their agreement never to speak/interact with each other at school!

Is your friend a mum? She sounds like a dick.

Dress up days, forgotten lunches, PE kit, books, computers... I am a soft touch.

Yanbu. In my experience, if you are kind and empathetic to kids they grow up kind and empathetic.

I would have taken her home to get changed and gone in late if necessary but it amounts to the same thing so YANBU .