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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for your opinion on these messages?

155 replies

CrochetNut123 · 30/06/2022 22:41

In your opinion are these messages flirty or not? A is male, B is female.

A - Hey, how did the class go? I never made it, sorry! Let me know which one it is and I will do it tonight.
B - I’ve not done it yet, it’s tomorrow at 5.30 😀
A - ah OK, will try and jump on it tomorrow 😀good luck, get near the front 😂
B - I’ll do my best! I’m going with my friend so we’ll be barging our way to the front 😂

OP posts:
Pacoean · 01/07/2022 02:13

Placemarking for the drip feed

Mamanyt · 01/07/2022 02:26

Had you not told me that "A" was male and that "B" was female, I would not have known that this was not two same-sex friends just chatting. SO, no, not flirty at all.

ladydoris · 01/07/2022 03:01

nope.

kateandme · 01/07/2022 05:10

No.but it might change if this is one of many conversations with someone your in flirtation with because then every convo can have that spark.in what your NOT saying,the way you look feel near each other.but via text.nah.unless the tap is really waiting to drip on our heads.

Vikinga · 01/07/2022 05:19

Just friendly. And if A never made it to the first class, he couldn't be that interested

Darbs76 · 01/07/2022 05:20

No. Not flirty in the slightest

Onlyhuman123 · 01/07/2022 05:52

Another 'not flirty' vote

SamMil · 01/07/2022 07:19

Not flirty at all, just from that snippet.

It's the same tone as the conversations in my work WhatsApp group.

BalloonSlayer · 01/07/2022 07:19

The only thing I could interpret - and it's a stretch - as flirty is him asking her to get near the front.

Have heard many a lecherous comment from blokes over the years re "standing at the back of an aerobics class to admire the view."

pictish · 01/07/2022 07:27

Not flirty, just friendly.

TenoringBehind · 01/07/2022 07:36

Not flirty. Did you want it to be?

CinnamonJellyBeans · 01/07/2022 07:40

like PP says, B is shutting A down.

I think A is trying to make B feel that the class is a shared experience between the two of them.

1000Pieces · 01/07/2022 07:49

As everyone else has said... no. they're not flirtatious messages.

Riverlee · 01/07/2022 07:54

Not flirty as it’s written. However, could be flirty in that they want to do the same class, and the comment about being at the front could be so the other person gawps at them.

OneFrenchEgg · 01/07/2022 07:56

How funny I read it completely like A friend zoning B:

A - how was the class I didn't make it - trying to be nice for not turning up to something they loosely agreed to that he wants to do but not with her as she's keen on him

B - tells him she hasn't gone and it's today

A - moves back from I'll do the next one to I'll try to do the next one

B - tells him she's going with a friend to sound like she's not just waiting for him

MessedOfTimes · 01/07/2022 07:56

Are you A or B and wondering if the one that isn’t you likes you? X

MiniHouse · 01/07/2022 08:17

Not flirty. However I'd say they are making an effort to meet up often so this depends on context. I can imagine sending this message to my male straight friend from work, we just get on well, both in relationships, nothing to worry about. If my husband saw it he'd think, ok it's just Dave, they're mates. Equally in another context it could be the start of something.

WisherWood · 01/07/2022 08:23

It's not flirty as such but it does read a bit like one of those conversations that you have when you're trying to work out if the other person is interested or not. Not sure exactly what it is - possibly it's just because the OP has asked and I'm reading too much into it. So it could be completely innocent or it could be that kind of thing where you're inviting further interest but it's being shut down.

Original poster
CrochetNut123 · 01/07/2022 08:24

Thanks all. So, to add some context - I am B, and A is my work colleague. The class is an online exercise class, so no physical interaction at all; he lives over 3 hours from me! The ‘get near the front’ comment is because I am doing the class in person - it’s streamed live and you can see the people at the front.

I showed the messages on Teams to my DP last night as we were chatting about our days last night - then got accused of being flirty which completely blindsided me. In my opinion, it’s just a friendly interaction.

His opinion is that as our relationship is not working well at the minute (he’s absolutely right with that), I shouldn’t be interacting with other men in a flirty way. I just can’t see what was flirty at all.

OP posts:
BurningTheToast · 01/07/2022 08:25

Not even slightly flirty.

Were these to your partner and you’re being paranoid or to you and your partner’s accusing you of flirting.

If the latter you should maybe think about whether you have a lot term future with someone who gets jealous over something like this. If the former then you need to get a grip and your poor partner might want to consider their future.

BurningTheToast · 01/07/2022 08:27

Sorry, cross post. Although my answer remains the same.

SpinningTheSeedsOfLove · 01/07/2022 08:30

It's not 'flirty' but it is a bit familiar.

The context of 'get near the front' so A can see you online is certainly interesting - now that bit's straying into 'over-familiar' territory. But your DP shouldn't be blaming you for what someone else said.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 01/07/2022 08:31

Nah not flirty at all imo. Friendly yes, but not flirty. Tbh if your partner is accusing you of being flirty with a male based on that interaction, what else could he start policing and say is flirting? I'd be wary of his jealousy tbh.

georgarina · 01/07/2022 08:36

I agree with your boyfriend here. Would you like it if he was carrying on a smiley private chat with another woman?

I would bet this guy doesn't have chats like this with women he's not attracted to.

Pantibliss · 01/07/2022 08:38

Going against the grain - I think they're slightly flirty. Too many emoji. If my dh sent those I'd be a bit weirded out.