AIBU to stop DD (12) snacking just before bed.

[McGingery]

So my DD likes to go to bed with a snack. I have always said no but DH is weaker than me and says yes. She eats a healthy dinner at about 5pm, then pudding and has fruit to eat whenever she wants.

My arguments are that she should have eaten something earlier (I say an hour bed bedtime so 8pm) and she is only eating as a delay tactic or out of habit. I doubt it is doing her any good to eat late and is only forming a bad habit for the future.

The snack in question is usually a large chunk of cucumber but sometimes it is cheese or chorizo!

Am I being unreasonable saying no to bedtime snacks?

We eat early as well, my second daughter who is 14 always has toast around 9pm.

Why?

My son is 10 - he eats constantly!

He doesn't have to ask about snacks he has after dinner - he sits in the back room on his console for an hour in the evenings and I often hear him back and forth to the fridge or cupboard

Tonight he ate early at 5 as he'd played footy after school and was hungry.

After that he had a nectarine, a wedge of cucumber, a chocolate bar, some grapes, cheese (that I k ow of - probably more!)

Then he had toast and a glass of milk 5 mins before bed at 8.30pm

He's slim.and fit as a lop!

We eat at 5 because she is hungry from school and that suits our family with other DS and clubs. Dinner is mostly home
cooked (pasta bolognaise this even cooked from scratch), followed by pudding. Then she went off to scouts with crisps and came home and had said cucumber and chorizo this evening at 8:30 after scouts. She goes to bed at 9 but reads till she falls asleep when she is tired. I’m not controlling or starving her, she has access to all food in the house. I just tell her I don’t like her eating so late.

9pm isn't an early bedtime but I just don't understand at all why you don't want her to have a snack before bed. She might be too hungry to sleep if she ate at 5pm. I just don't understand your problem with it. What's the reason it bothers you?

I just tell her I don’t like her eating so late.

Why? Why don't you like her eating 'so late' / close to bedtime?

5pm is very early to eat I'm not surprised she needs a snack. Why is a 12 year old stalling for bed? Surely by that age they have a bit of autonomy and understand when they are tired and the natural consequences of not listening to that. 9 is also early my 9 year old is only having lights out at 9.30. It's healthy snacks also. I'd not be concerned about them being eaten at any time of day or night

I don’t believe it is good for your digestion or teeth.

Neither is going to bed hungry.

She can brush her teeth afterwards.

I think you're underestimating the effect of coming into her teens. She needs more food than you think if she's going to bed hungry and wanting (not even unhealthy!) snacks.

We had lots of ‘I’m hungry’ as a sleep delaying tactic, and I introduced an official bedtime snack to scotch it. Ours was usually cereal and right before toilet and teeth at 7pm. She’s 12 now and has a big after school snack (tea, really. Eggs, beans on toast etc) and dinner with me at 7, but up until 10 or do she had a smaller after school snack and dinner at 5ish, then bedtime snack at 7 and straight up after.

kids are growing, they need to eat a lot sometimes. It seems like an unimportant hill to die on, to me, especially as she’s making great food choices.

If my son doesn't eat before bed, he's up at 2am starving. Their metabolism is very high at this age. They need good to keep them going while sleeping

Yabu why do you feel the need to control her food I have a 12 Yr old wouldn't dream of it.

Then you'd be wrong op.

No problem for digestion - she's choosing low acid snacks so teeth can simply be brushed after (you might want to wait a bit if she was eating fizzy Haribo)

Have you got any scientific base for that belief? I assume she's brushing her teeth before bed

My dd12 gets dinner between 6/6.30pm. 5pm is far too early. She’ll need (a not far off) adult sized meal for dinner.
I’m not surprised she wants snacks after dinner.

The teeth bit is wrong, assuming she's not gnawing on a slice of cheese in bed and falling asleep with it clamped between her teeth. Digestion, what do you think it's doing there? Is it a weight thing? You're probably wrong on both fronts and sort of projecting your own discomfort on eating late onto your daughter. Don't be controlling of a 12 year old eating a fairly healthy snack when they say they're hungry

God you sound controlling your poor DD

It's a bit of cucumber.

I used to love my cheese and crackers last thing.

Can you compromise and allow her to eat at 8:30pm?

It won’t do her any harm and most people swear by a snack (supper) before they go to bed for health reasons and a good nights sleep but if she’s using it as a delay tactic then it can be annoying.

Id let her eat it at 8:30 then upstairs to brush her teeth and get changed etc.

YABU she eats tea early. You sound quite controlling.

5pm for dinner and 9pm bedtime at 12 seem very early.

When I was that age, it would be wee snack after school around 4pm (oatcakes or something), dinner around 6.30pm, bed about 9pm (there might be another wee snack / supper about 8.30pm).

If she is not overweight, then she's probably hungry, especially if she's active or sporty.

The teeth-brushing is important, though.

I've just eaten a bowl of cereal before I go to bed. I wouldn't say there's anything wrong with cucumber or chorizo!

A big heavy meal right before you lie down is probably unwise as your digestive system slows right down when you sleep.

However she's not going to sleep immediately after eating her tiny weeny snack is she, she's doing her teeth, reading etc until she wants to go to sleep.

So there isn't an issue.

If she starts walloping down a plate of lasagne and chips and garlic bread at 8.59pm and then is lying down flat out asleep at 9.02pm.. yes, thats probably not great, she'll probably get indigestion and learn not to do that again.

If you say no and she's hungry you're setting the stage for disordered/secret eating.

Really not what you want.

(And I'm not one of those who says that a lot.)

A snack of cucumber/cheese/chorizo is fine and healthy. And it's up to her - everyone's body is different. Some need a big breakfast, others a late snack. Very controlling of you to dictate.