AIBU to stop DD (12) snacking just before bed.

[McGingery]

So my DD likes to go to bed with a snack. I have always said no but DH is weaker than me and says yes. She eats a healthy dinner at about 5pm, then pudding and has fruit to eat whenever she wants.

My arguments are that she should have eaten something earlier (I say an hour bed bedtime so 8pm) and she is only eating as a delay tactic or out of habit. I doubt it is doing her any good to eat late and is only forming a bad habit for the future.

The snack in question is usually a large chunk of cucumber but sometimes it is cheese or chorizo!

Am I being unreasonable saying no to bedtime snacks?

Really bad idea to get into food battles with any child- but significantly worse with a female pre teen… you’re creating the perfect conductions for disordered eating. Stop. Her body, her choice.

I think three meals and a hearty snack is normal for teenagers, plus fruit/veg.

If the issue is that the snack is close on bedtime or delaying bedtime, then how about suggesting a snack an hour before bedtime.

She's in the middle of a big growth spurt at that age. Of course she's hungry. Do you really all not eat between 5pm and breakfast? That's a very long time. Poor girl only wants some cucumber.

My 13&14yo DDs have a 'snack' (e.g. a sandwich) when they come home from school, dinner about 7.30-8pm (we don't eat till after their evening sporting activities) then usually announce they are hungry again about 10 pm. We just make sure there are lots of healthy options available.

What's your worry about it?

I don’t think 5pm is mega early for dinner, I grew up eating dinner at 5pm, and my kids like to eat around that time if I’m working at home. They have lunch at 12ish at school so are naturally hungry for a meal around 5. Saves them snacking loads after school. Mine have something else before bed, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that

Why on earth would you stop her? Mine often have toast/ crumpets before bed.

Mine usually have cereal about 9ish and that is with 6.30 dinner. I'm not surprised she is hungry again if meal is at 5. As long as she brushes teeth after then it's fine

Its called supper here as well, and almost always consists of toast/crumpets usually with marmite or occasionally cereal. Although the odd occasion we are out for a drink it may be a kebab or a bag of chips.

At 12 I was eating dinner at 7pm and bed at 10pm.

I was also allowed to snack when I wanted.

This sounds really odd for a 12 year old. Sounds more like how you'd feed and treat a much younger child to be honest.

Growing up we used to have evening meal around 5 30 then I'd have supper before bed,toast etc

At her age my supper was always a few biscuits (normally chocolate in some way) and a glass of full fat milk. I grew up to be a perfectly healthy, functioning adult. Leave the poor girl to her cucumber! 😅😂😂

We have dinner at 5 (kids are 2 and 6) and they still have supper at 6.30 before bed. DH always has a substantial supper but obviously he is going to bed much later.

If she is a healthy weight and eating healthy snacks why would you need to control their eating?

She's not a jetlagged Mogwai, you know.

Exactly what harm is going to befall her from eating a piece of cucumber, cheese or cured meat four hours after her last low calorie by order of Mum healthy meal that isn't going to afflict her three hours after tea?

And why are you sending her to bed at a 9 year old's bedtime?

Fucking hell, you grudge your 12 year old a bit of CUCUMBER before you pack her off to bed at baby bedtime.

She ll need more than cucumber
Teens will have dinner then huge bowl of cereal befire bed
They are growing
They need it

Let her eat she cannot go 5 pm to breakfast on cucumbee

My 12 year old has just got himself some cheese crackers and cucumber and disappeared upstairs to watch Netflix

I genuinely don’t see the issue?

What’s is a flycup

Blimey that's really mean! Snack before bed is helpful for sleep - especially carbohydrate-based.

Do you not eat between 5pm and breakfast OP?!

I assume you do eat in that window. And you aren't going through a growth spurt.

Cucumber, cheese or chorizo are fine. She's actually making healthy choices.

She's hardly chomping down on a KFC bucket in bed.

You're going to give her issues around food if you make a big deal out of this.

DD is ten, she always has a cup of warm milk and a piece of fruit before bed. Also wondering what a fly cup is!

A piece of cucumber? Seriously? Poor kid.

This sounds overly controlling and you may be setting her up for an eating disorder in the future if she has memories of being hungry as a child.

It's only cucumber, it's not a six pack of crisps.

I would give her (or, at that age, she can get it herself) a milky drink such as hot chocolate, with toast or plain biscuits.

9pm is NIT 'a very early' bedtime for a 12 yo.

@McGingery very unusual chouce if bedtime snack!

I agree that taking good to bed isn't a good habit to get into. Like you I'd be saying if she wants anything befire she goes to sleep it's downstairs & not after 8.

@JuneJubilee I eat snacks in bed every night always have , I’m a size 8 what’s the problem ? I’m eating a packet of crisps right now too🙀