To find that working in a school really puts me off having children?

[ElephantePicante]

I love my job but corr blimey what a form of contraception it is. The genuine mental health issues where children can't get through their daily timetable without 20 time outs and check ins, the students who MUST be escorted from the front gate because they can't possibly walk 2 minutes on their own, the competitive (and questionable) mental health issues about self harm and who has the worst anxiety, the bullying over snap chat, the not recognising that they're nervous for a test (which is normal) and not suffering from an anxiety disorder, the parents who demand that their child isn't possibly absconding from lesson and there must be a genuine reason why their little angel isn't in class, the school refusers, the teachers verbally abused by snowflakey parents at the gate, the parents who find it outrageous that their child gets a sanction for forgetting their P.E. bag. I could go on. Friends who work in Primaries have equally enlightening stories. It's all sad and exhausting at the same time and really makes you stop and think about whether you want to condemn yourself to it all. Nobody holds their gorgeous newborn and thinks they'll turn out to be hard work and the cause of 10 phone calls a week from school.

Yes, I agree with you.

When I had kids I went into it blind. I had no visibility of all of this. I was very naive. I had no idea how hard it would be.

I love my kids, but I think if I had been exposed to a lot of this prior to having them, I may not have had them.

I'm not a teacher op but I am a parent of two.

I am perhaps very lucky in that I don't recognise any of what you talk about. My teen does have his ups and downs and his mood swings, yes. But on the whole both dc are happy, compliant average children.

I try to support the school every step of the way and have rarely has reason to complain and have on the whole found school to be a place where my children enjoy going 🤷‍♀️

Secondary school teacher ( now SAHM) I found I was more determined to bring up mine with respect and manners. The mental health card of I can’t be bothered to do my GCSEs was played far too much and it’s grates on me as teachers we were not allowed to let them fail. Some did have true mental health issues and I hope the support and guidance worked. Having 30 8n my tutor group certainly taught me patience!

Beats me. But it's in their plan and if we don't do it we get hauled over the coals.

I assume it's to do with needing more time to access the work than 80% of the class, so it can help if they need to go back to the last slide. And there are many that just get on with it, but those are not the students that grate on you. It's the ones that insist they absolutely cannot do anything without the correct shade of teal (yes, I have had a few telling me the green/ blue is the wrong shade), even as mundane as writing the title or copying a simple definition out of a book.

Hell, if my almost blind student finds a way around the digitally enlarged copy of their workbook not working by being completely happy with me copying work onto a mini whiteboard in large font, why can some absolutely not even write down the bloody date on a period 5?

And TAs? At secondary level, you are lucky if you get one at all, even in a bottom set with 15 SEND students. I have one class, where - no exaggeration - 10 pupils need 1:1 support according to their plan - I have two TAs in there, and that's purely down to two students being medically unable to write. Another class has 18/20 students with diagnosed SEND, but not "severe enough" to warrant even a single TA. So there is no support, and especially not for mundane jobs such as photocopying. Gove got rid of the 10 tasks that were admin, which teachers were not meant to do anymore.

All the issues you mentioned are about school itself or stressed parents trying to juggle children and work.

None of them are related to children, who are lovely when not forced into situations they are not comfortable with every day their entire childhood.

I don’t think the problem is school at all. Schools are fantastic places with the hardest working staff. Teachers try really hard to make the work as interesting and engaging as possible. The vast, vast majority of children enjoy school.

The problem is our society, which has become an extremely stressful place to live. So many people hating their jobs because they feel constantly pushed to give more than they’re able to. Families having to have 2 working adults which means family life is stressful and there’s never enough time. Too many families don’t have enough money. These are the real problems. Schools are just left to pick up the pieces.

My husband is a secondary school teacher and although it didn’t put him off having children he’d always said that his job made him never want daughters.

We have two sons and I think he’s very relieved 😂