Page 2 | Afternoon Delight

6079SmithW · 2022-06-27T14:39:07+00:00

I'm feeling hurt and upset (and sexually frustrated ☹️). I am working from home today. My DP has a day off and is doing some gardening. My DC are with their childminder. As I was coming to a natural lull in my work, I decided to take a break and lie down for ten minutes, but when I got into bed I started feeling really horny. I called my DP in from the garden and suggested we get straight to it ... He not only turned me down shaking his head and saying unbelievable repeatedly, but got really cross and had a proper go at me "couldn't I see that he was busy" etc. Aside from the fact that he has left me sexually frustrated and knowing this won't be resolved (if I ask him for sex tonight I know he'll just say that his back is too sore from gardening), I am confused. Who would rather garden than have sex?? I'm also really upset and hurt by his reaction. I know the gardening needs to be done, but there is no hurry. I didn't really see much of him over the weekend - he stayed at his own house because he had his son 9am Saturday to 4pm Sunday, and he goes back to work tomorrow. AIBU to have expected him to stop gardening to have sex?

HairyScaryMonster · 27/06/2022 16:12

So your cross that your human vibrator wasn't available on demand yabu

HairyScaryMonster · 27/06/2022 16:12

*You're

Dirtylittleroses · 27/06/2022 16:13

No means no op. Irrelevant of gender.

Irishfarmer · 27/06/2022 16:15

YABU to want him to stop gardening and have sex with you

I don't like his response though ""He not only turned me down shaking his head and saying unbelievable repeatedly, but got really cross and had a proper go at me"" I don't think he should be cross with you.

Regards the avoiding sex later on, I think talk to him.

picklemewalnuts · 27/06/2022 16:15

What I raised an eyebrow at was 'calling him in' from the garden. Did you go downstairs, speak to him, give him a cuddle and see if he was up for it? That would be ok. Calling him to come inside, then saying 'come on, I'm horny, let's have a quickie' would be less so.

I'd be irritated I'd been interrupted, and I'd be thinking about weeds rather than wanting to get cosy with you. Some of us don't change track as fast as others.

And actually I'd really not want to be seen as the mechanism to ease my partner's horniness.

FabFitFifties · 27/06/2022 16:17

YABU - I echo what others say about a bloke would get a slaying for this post. He might of felt he was dity/sweaty and would need a shower, and didn't want to stop working, for the time it would add. Or a myriad of other reasons. If

Dirtylittleroses · 27/06/2022 16:18

I would be fucking livid if I was doing my partners gardening for him on my day off and he summoned me into the house like some lackey and said he wanted sex and couldn’t even be arsed coming out to talk to me, I’d tell him to go fuck himself. And when he was done he could go fuck himself a little more.

HollowTalk · 27/06/2022 16:20

Are you Lady Chatterley?

xogossipgirlxo · 27/06/2022 16:20

Since when women can say no, but men can't? YABVU.

5128gap · 27/06/2022 16:21

JamesBlond · 27/06/2022 15:43

He said no. What part is unclear?

Well, possibly some of the OPs confusion arises from the fact she is a woman. And as a woman it's highly likely that from her teens she has had, or at least seen, men badgering for sex. Most men, until they reach a certain age, are very very keen on it. Men want sex when their partners are busy, tired, pregnant, unwell, and often, though obviously, not always, more frequently than women do. Given this, its not too much of a stretch of the imagination to understand why a man refusing may take a woman by surprise. The attempts to reverse this and treat it as exactly the same as a woman refusing, ignore the context of typical male behaviour that most women are familiar with. It's only the same as a woman refusing in that his rights to do so are the same.

Goldencarp · 27/06/2022 16:23

Yes yabu. If I was in the middle of doing something important and my hubby called me in for sex I’d probably tell him to feck off!

Dirtylittleroses · 27/06/2022 16:25

5128gap · 27/06/2022 16:21

Well, possibly some of the OPs confusion arises from the fact she is a woman. And as a woman it's highly likely that from her teens she has had, or at least seen, men badgering for sex. Most men, until they reach a certain age, are very very keen on it. Men want sex when their partners are busy, tired, pregnant, unwell, and often, though obviously, not always, more frequently than women do. Given this, its not too much of a stretch of the imagination to understand why a man refusing may take a woman by surprise. The attempts to reverse this and treat it as exactly the same as a woman refusing, ignore the context of typical male behaviour that most women are familiar with. It's only the same as a woman refusing in that his rights to do so are the same.

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Good god this stereotypical utter nonsense can’t be serious can it?

Fabulousfanny69 · 27/06/2022 16:29

MrsOwainGlyndŵr · 27/06/2022 16:03

Call me a spoil sport, but I don't think you should be having sex when you are being paid to work!

SPOILSPORT!!!

youlightupmyday · 27/06/2022 16:29

It's not stereotypical nonsense. It echoes my experience. Women are usually the assumed gate keepers to sex. That has not changed much in the 50 years I have been around.

butterflied · 27/06/2022 16:30

He was not in the mood. That's all you have to understand. He isn't a human vibrator.

You're being so unreasonable.

Carrotzen · 27/06/2022 16:31

He's not a dildo ffs

I'd be pretty pissed off if my partner summoned me in from gardening their garden foe a quickie. At least come to me and put some effort in

drpet49 · 27/06/2022 16:31

“I guess he didn’t feel like it? Just as many women post on here they they don’t always feel like sex in demand and are told their other halves should respect their wishes and not expect sex whenever they feel like it.”

^I agree with this.

AfterSchoolWorry · 27/06/2022 16:31

I feel like this is a reverse.

JanuaryBug · 27/06/2022 16:32

YABU.

He didn't want to have sex for whatever reason. If this was the other way around and it was him badgering you for sex you'd be told to LTB.

If my husband tells me no, I either leave it or if I'm mega horny I get my toys out or use my hands.

Carrotzen · 27/06/2022 16:34

Also your sexual frustration is not his responsibility.

Quartz2208 · 27/06/2022 16:34

Yes - you were in a natural lull and break - he was not

Littlebirdyouaresosweet · 27/06/2022 16:34

In nearly 10 years dh hasn't been unwilling....

Reallyreallyborednow · 27/06/2022 16:35

Is it just me that that the thought of 'feeling dirty, hot, sweaty, filthy hands' would put me MORE in the mood 🤔?

the reality of soil bacteria, toxiplasmosis etc in and around a vagina us not mood inducing, no.

Mally100 · 27/06/2022 16:35

Reallyreallyborednow · 27/06/2022 16:35

Is it just me that that the thought of 'feeling dirty, hot, sweaty, filthy hands' would put me MORE in the mood 🤔?

the reality of soil bacteria, toxiplasmosis etc in and around a vagina us not mood inducing, no.

🤣🤣

1VY · 27/06/2022 16:35

5128gap · 27/06/2022 16:21

Well, possibly some of the OPs confusion arises from the fact she is a woman. And as a woman it's highly likely that from her teens she has had, or at least seen, men badgering for sex. Most men, until they reach a certain age, are very very keen on it. Men want sex when their partners are busy, tired, pregnant, unwell, and often, though obviously, not always, more frequently than women do. Given this, its not too much of a stretch of the imagination to understand why a man refusing may take a woman by surprise. The attempts to reverse this and treat it as exactly the same as a woman refusing, ignore the context of typical male behaviour that most women are familiar with. It's only the same as a woman refusing in that his rights to do so are the same.

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Where does the OP say that they are a woman?