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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Argument

123 replies

Lanalou76 · 25/06/2022 22:44

Husband shoved the bench out we were sitting on at a restaurant

I said that's a man move
As my son and
I had climbed in without moving it.
He said 'I have a sore knee you know'...... I said 'that's because you're
old'.. He 'replied at least I don't look old'

I got up and left restaurant at this point and went home, leaving him and his parents sitting there..

He said I had shouldn't have made people feel awkward.

I explained that he made a very personal comment and i was not going to sit there and put up with it. He said his comment was the same thing as my comment;
I said 'no, as his comment was particularly personal.. shall we ask FB? , he said' don't because everyone already thinks you are mad enough..'

What are peoples thoughts on this?

OP posts:
Zonder · 26/06/2022 08:12

You were rude and initiated rudeness. Surely if he has a bad knee you could have been a bit more sympathetic. I can't imagine storming off and leaving them all over this.

Maybe in the cold light of day have a read back on your OP.

Floella22 · 26/06/2022 08:12

Your poor ds.

If my dh had said he had a sore knee my reply would have been either would you like to sit somewhere more comfortable or have you taken any pain relief ?
And storming off is childish.

SoupDragon · 26/06/2022 08:12

What are peoples thoughts on this?

you started the argument with insults and over reacted when he retaliated.

butterpuffed · 26/06/2022 08:21

What was much worse than his reply to your comment, was walking out on all the family.

Brideandprejudice · 26/06/2022 08:22

You owe him an apology.

Tee20x · 26/06/2022 08:23

Yikes - don't you feel embarrassed? You called him old, he said at least he doesn't look old probably in jest & you've walked out of a family dinner with his parents and your son?

frazzledasarock · 26/06/2022 08:31

why didn’t he say I need to move this bench out can you stand up for a sec?

he started it by shoving out a bench you and your son were sitting on already.

Ourlady · 26/06/2022 08:34

You sound like hard work! Poor bloke

Dirtylittleroses · 26/06/2022 08:34

frazzledasarock · 26/06/2022 08:31

why didn’t he say I need to move this bench out can you stand up for a sec?

he started it by shoving out a bench you and your son were sitting on already.

Um seriously?

WB205020 · 26/06/2022 08:34

@Lanalou76 dont use the oversensitive line as a way to get out of it. You started it and couldn’t take his rebuttal. You need to apologise and to his parents too. What childish behaviour from both of you but you far more than him!

LegInLegOut · 26/06/2022 08:34

It sounds to me like you were spoiling for a fight before he even moved the bench.
Grow up.

Miajk · 26/06/2022 08:38

You sound absolutely insane and should apologise to your DH and his parents. Absolute madness.

Pansypotter123 · 26/06/2022 08:38

I bet it's fun in your house this morning.....🍿

newnamethanks · 26/06/2022 08:39

You have no manners at all, little respect for him, your child or his parents. What do you want on here? Sympathy?

Figgygal · 26/06/2022 08:40

Gosh you should be pretty mortified

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 26/06/2022 08:45

You walked out in front of your kid? Doesn't sound like you're mature enough to have one from this behaviour tbh. Grow up. If you don't want someone to be sarcastic back, don't say something insulting first. You should apologise to his parents for your rudeness. And apologise to him and your kid for the behaviour too.

Beautiful3 · 26/06/2022 08:46

You called him old, he implied that you looked old. Tit for tat. You are both, as bad as each other. Bit embarrassing that you left, because of that, in front of in laws.

Subbaxeo · 26/06/2022 08:46

If that’s how you talk and behave you sound as if you’re 6.

Asurvivor · 26/06/2022 08:51

I think you were both as bad as each other
He moved the bench that you were already sitting on - presumably disturbing you & your ds - without asking you if it was ok / telling you that he needed to do that.
You then responded unconstructively - because maybe there was nothing deliberate, maybe just his sore knee was on his mind.
And then it escalated after that - both of you being rude and not seeing the other’s point of view.
There must be a back story to this, sounds like your relationship is in a really bad state as you have lost all goodwill towards each other.

Dirtylittleroses · 26/06/2022 08:52

Is there a back story op? Because this is way more than “a little sensitive” it’s down right rude and illmannered, and the face book thing is embarrassing.

you owe them all an apology for this behaviour as it stands, unless there is some massive back story, as it comes across as you are abusive. So is there a back story?

Sunnytwobridges · 26/06/2022 08:55

I feel like there’s more going on here. Is there regular bickering going on between you two? This reminds me of me and my ex towards the end of our relationship. Ridiculous bickering over petty shit. It had built up over the years.

Glitteratitar · 26/06/2022 09:05

Dirtylittleroses · 26/06/2022 08:34

Um seriously?

Show quote history

It’s MN, the place where people can always find a way to turn it on to the man.

It was your fault OP. You were unnecessarily rude to him. You were happy to give it but God forbid he said something about you.

clpsmum · 26/06/2022 09:11

You're more than a bit over sensitive tbh

clpsmum · 26/06/2022 09:12

I'm
Mortified on your behalf tbh. Your poor child and in laws, how embarrassing

BellePeppa · 26/06/2022 09:16

You sound like a couple who don’t actually like each other anymore🤷‍♀️