Argument

[Lanalou76]

Husband shoved the bench out we were sitting on at a restaurant

I said that's a man move
As my son and
I had climbed in without moving it.
He said 'I have a sore knee you know'...... I said 'that's because you're
old'.. He 'replied at least I don't look old'

I got up and left restaurant at this point and went home, leaving him and his parents sitting there..

He said I had shouldn't have made people feel awkward.

I explained that he made a very personal comment and i was not going to sit there and put up with it. He said his comment was the same thing as my comment;
I said 'no, as his comment was particularly personal.. shall we ask FB? , he said' don't because everyone already thinks you are mad enough..'

What are peoples thoughts on this?

Why are you both married to each other if you treat each other like this? I wouldn't be that mean to my DH and likewise him to me. It's almost playground antics - grow up ffs

I’m guessing there was alcohol involved on your part, OP?

Your son must have been very embarrassed that you walked out over a comment.

You started it, and I think it’s an over reaction with family members there which then makes what was going to be a nice family meal into a really awkward occasion

“Shall we ask Facebook?” Haha did you really say that? That’s tickled me 😂

To think an “adult” acts like this in front of their child. Honestly, read back a few times what you’ve posted and then grow up, you should be embarrassed of yourself.

You should of course take this directly to Mark Zuckerberg!

Sounds like the bickering my kids display. How odd that you walked out because of it.

For the sake of your son please get family therapy

What’s a man move?
Sounds like an argument between a couple of kids.
You sound stroppy and rude. He sounds like he’s had his fill of your shit.
Dramatically storming out like a stroppy teen is embarrassing behaviour.

You were equally bad. You told him he was old. He replied in kind.

Do you normally communicate like that? How awkward for everyone you were with.

I'm embarrassed for you

How dysfunctional all round. You started the poor behaviour. He kept it going instead of taking the high road (I understand it would have been difficult to call you on it otherwise given you were in a group). You didn’t like him biting back. All of this occurred in front of a child, when you are meant to be modelling acceptable behaviours. You both need to apologise to everyone present and you need to acknowledge you were responsible for starting the shitfest it became. Seriously, who cares if he moved the bench out to get into the table to sit down?

Why did you comment on moving the bench? You made a pathetic comment and are now sulking because he snapped back with one of his own.
Honesty, I feel sorry for your ds and pil. So much drama over nothing

You started it to be honest. He went defensive talking about his knee, which means he was in pain. He was waiving for an amnesty. You added insult to injury. "Old". He went for the jugular and you could not take it. Always leave an open door for a man's pride. You did this in front of family in a public space. Bad kitty. Is this a once a year thing or is this how you behave all the time ? You are hurting each other, instead of quietly talking enjoying your time and being kind. If it's a one off, get some ice cream for the two of you and calmly do apologize without expecting anything from him (no apologizing back) and suffer the guy for the couple of weeks because he will remain spiky for some time. Hopefully he will turn round. Do you want a divorce. Or are you fine with having an enemy in your bedroom? To have friends you need to be friendly. Life is short, you have a hubby, kids and family. Lots of us have lost loved ones during this pandemic. Please make the best of it. Let go of old grudges. Nobody knows how much time we have left and this is silly. If you are hurt it means you still care. So does he. Imagine what a good word would have done instead. And what a lovely memory you missed out on.

You would be wise to offer a sincere apology to each of the members of the family you subjected to your goady remarks and your drama queen flounce.
If something else is going on in your relationship, deal with that before all going out for a meal together again and hopefully you will be able to have pleasant family time again and be able to laugh about it in the future.

This! Don't be rude to people if you can't take it. Storming off and making a scene and the asking if you should let Facebook decide. Grow up

OP, you quickly saw the comments and readjusted your thinking but people are still piling on. Look after yourself and your family.

Unless there’s a massive backstory, YABU

You basically picked an argument with your DH in front of others. Humiliating.

I think his response is actually quite funny 🤭

Sounds like tit for tat 'digs' - then your DH makes one that touches a nerve and you completely overreact thinking you are making a point. You really aren't.

It could have been handled in such a better way and you are coming across as a bit unhinged.

If I or my DH say something that has just gone over the mark, we make each other aware. If we are with friends we might say 'can you just help me with the drinks' and say you've gone over a line, wind your neck in. We then get on with the evening. We're not perfect but we have developed a way to argue well. This is so important in a relationship.

Sounds like you have the general opinion, I think you need to apologise to all involved. Then sit down with DH and work through communication, what works well, what doesn’t, what you both prefer.

Well that was unpleasant. Why were you having a go like that then stomping off. How rude.

To be fair, I wouldn't like someone moving the bench I was sitting on without asking or saying excuse me.

I actually remember my mum and dad arguing about that growing up, because we had a farmhouse table with benches. My mum would complain when dad moved the bench out and he would pretend he was going to pick up the end and tip her off.

But in OP's case it sounds like things escalated quickly.

Poor kid that must have been confusing for him.
Unless he's used to this crap and that's even worse

Yabu. First of all by saying something about him moving the bench (I would also move a bench to sit down). You then didn't let it go and started the insults. If you can't take it don't fish it out. Then to walk off leaving everyone was pathetic to be honest.