Forest school only for 'select' children

[Eyelashesrgreat]

Ds in Y3 and his school have recently 'selected' children from his class to go to forest school. The children do this weekly whilst the other children have to stay at school and do work. The children (selected) get to wear their own clothes that day and have treats.

The school did the same thing last year and ds wasn't chosen then. Ds has had a really difficult time recently at school and would have loved to have been selected for this activity. I asked his teacher if all the children will eventually get their turn at the forest school but she has said only certain children can go. AIBU to think this is a bit unfair?

The heart of the issue really is that schools have had their budgets and therefore what they can provide cut to the bone, so invariably everyone receives the bare minimum (if that).

Does going to a forest school once a week make up for the fact many in this country live in poverty? Make up for having parents stuck in the cycle of addiction because support is shite? Does it magic away their disabilities and additional needs? Make abuse they suffer dissappear? No. But it provides a safe space in which they'll likely benefit from. In an ideal world schools would have funding for all children to take part in forest school, but most don't and so have to prioritise those who would gain most from it.

I do appreciate it can be frustrating for children, but you'd hope parents would be mature enough to understand why. I will say though that there are children who probably would benefit who sadly fall under the radar, so not claiming things like this are fair across the board, but they are as far as practicable.

The issue isn't these sessions, it's the torys and their policies both within and outside of education in reality.

I think maybe the reason OP has been getting YABU is the tone of her thread comes across as a bit whiney. Like a child foot stamping .

AIBU to ask the school to consider my child for a Forest School Place considering he has confidence issues as a result of bullying? Would get a much more sympathetic response, am sure.

As I said, bullying can result in trauma.

A child from a supportive family, who experiences bullying which is addressed quickly and gets the support they need, is not necessarily 'traumatised'.

I was bullied at school and didn't get intervention and support. I had flashbacks after I left school. Yes, I experienced some trauma. But more because it was sustained and I wasn't supported.

Having said that, there is a huge difference between my experience and the trauma experienced by my daughter. I had a stable and secure upbringing, with some deficiencies in emotional support. Counselling helped enormously, and I have been able to put it behind me and make peace with it, because there were enough 'protective factors' to use jargon.

DD's early years were life threatening, and the consequences are life long. She is triggered on a daily basis into terror and survival mode. It affects every aspect of her life.

I agree with this completely.

As I have said, I would encourage her to raise the issue of her child's needs with the school, and discuss how those needs can be met. Forest School may be part of meeting those needs, or other interventions may be more suitable.

OP, no one would think it U of you to ask them to consider your child for a place? Just be prepared that because of funding issues, they may say no.

I think FS is a great idea and ideally all children would have it, but because of funding issues it's not unreasonable to prioritise children with diagnosed additional needs. and there will be amny , so they would have to choose only a select few even of those. So many of us as children would have fitted into the categories mentioned on the thread including your child's but I think !any of us would have flown under the radar. It's a shame but I couldn't begrudge anyone having a place at F S.

I hope your child gets the bullying stopped and maybe some therapy. Have you considered play therapy for his confidence issues? My own background is not in the CAMHS area of mental health , so apologies if am not being helpful.

I understand . My early childhood was like your daughters and I am triggered on a daily basis, self harm, ED, severe paranoia and meltdowns. also labelled with EUPD. So I do get it. for some reason I'm more aware of the smaller things like bullying as it's been only recently I been able to talk about my dad. FWIW, I always assumed it must have been the bullying that affected me most because the bullying was daily and my dads violence frequent but not daily though the verbal and emotional abuse was pretty constant. my therapist has told me the attachment issues is have from my dad are comparable to children he saw on care when he worked in SS. Very severe abandonment issues etc. But still my stupid brain tells me constantly that what my dad did to me wasn't that bad!! and I still feel that my trauma isn't deserving of the years of therapy and DBT I've had. I still think I am an entitled fraud for taking up place in therapy when the emotional and verbal abuse affected me more than the sexual assaults or the violence. Sorry am rambling on pointlessly!

And yes you're right that I shouldn't have assumed trauma in the OP's child. I guess I need projecting my own issues there! I can't say whether OP's son had a good background or not, so you're right, I should not have assumed.

sending kind thoughts to you and your daughter.

I asked another parent yesterday and she said they were chosen due to 'confidence' issues. The children who have been selected though are some of the most confident children in the class. My own ds has suffered with anxiety and low self esteem due to bullying issues since Y2 at the school

I think YABU. How on earth do you know that the other children are the most confident? You know your child not all the others. If your child was struggling worse than others then he would have been selected wouldn't he? Maybe the other parent didn't want to go into detail about her own child's issues? or other children's issues with someone she doesn't know well?

My Y2 DS has just finished a term of play therapy, only a few in his class were selected. I think he was chosen because he struggles hugely with separation anxiety and still cries every morning when I drop him off, I have to hand him over to another adult. You wouldn't know this unless you were there every morning at drop off, because he seems fine at school otherwise. He appeared very confident at the sports day for example, even though he was wracked by anxiety about the whole thing. His father and I also separated about 18 months ago and he still hasn't adjusted to that and often asks when daddy is coming back to live with us. I don't offer up this information to other parents whom I barely know. I'd much rather he didn't have these issues

Am projecting not need! My English isn't great.

@AmaryllisNamedPhyllis all good thoughts to you as well, and I hope you continue to heal

That's a good point. You can't always see issues children have because many times they are internalised. Of course this also means the teachers don't see them so we can't always say that if a child was that bad they would have been selected either . My teachers had no idea I was being abused at home from infancy through sixth form age. I suspect there are so many needy children that teachers have to go by what they see as more apparent difficulties. I feel bad for teachers these days because LA funding is piss poor.

Thank you

The silent majority agree with you even if the ones shouting the loudest don’t.

Something the parents of disabled children are well used to. We have to shout loudly because too many refuse to accept that in order for our children to have a level playing field, there needs to be a different set of things in place for them.

Schools have to publish how they spend their PP funding, so you should be able to find the report on their website. It might mention forest school on there. Forces children also get PP funding. I don't like forest school being used selectively though, so do understand your upset. I take mine to a school well out of my way just because they are the nearest who offer weekly forest school for all pupils.

Highly unfair, especially at the age your DC is. I think 7 is quite a sensitive age and this could leave a child thinking they’ve done something wrong if they are never picked. All children should be treated equally at school just as they are (or should be) at home.

Treating everyone equally assumes every starts on a level playing field to start with.

my Son has a feed at school every day through his tube in his tummy - should all of his classmates have the same in the hunt for equality?

if one child is in a wheelchair should they all be? Equality?

sharing the learning difficulties equally could be hard.

or is it only the fun things that should be equal?

"Highly unfair"

Do you ever give any thought to the unfairness faced by children with additional needs? Treating everyone the same means no reasonable adjustments so discrimination. Are you advocating that?

Are you advocating that young children be punished for not having additional needs?

So do you think there should be no additional funding for SEN children or vulnerable children @PinkSyCo?

Are you advocating children be punished for having additional needs?

"Are you advocating that young children be punished for not having additional needs?"

Not getting to do absolutely everything you would like to do is not punishment.

Whereas saying children with additional needs shouldn't get support that helps them because some children without additional needs might not like it (because of course only they matter) .....

You sound like the parents who complained that their children without additional needs were not allowed into soft play sessions for children with additional needs because "It isn't fair". Yet no thought given to all the activities their child could attend that were not accessible to those with additional needs.

Children aren’t punished for not having additional needs. I bet there are loads of activities your child can attend out of school, brownies, guides, scouts, dancing, football softplay, gymnastics, holiday clubs the list goes on and on. Depending on level of Sen many kids with Sen can’t attend these clubs, clubs like to say they are inclusive but very few genuinely are and can manage all levels of need. There’s another post running at the minute about a parent whose child isn’t allowed to attend after school club and alot of posters and saying that is fair enough as it’s a private company running it and you can’t expect them to fund 1-1 so it’s ok that the child can’t attend. You seem to be forgetting or choosing not to notice all these things Sen children cannot do that your child can do and then focussing in on the one thing they do get to do and say it’s not fair

Then complaining when The Sen children that are there are acting like Sen children do

What I hate sometimes is if you have behavioural needs ie terribly behaved you get extra special treats like forest school to ‘help you’ and those that have additional needs also get extra support (absolutely fine, no problems there) but I just feel so annoyed sometimes for your average good child, not especially gifted, not especially lower ability. Just your everyday child. They are SO often the ones who get ‘star of the week’ last or last to be picked for something like forest school. It’s not fair and it annoys me so no I don’t think YABU to ask when your child will get a go!

Forest school isn't an extra special treat. It is written into some children's ehcp's. No one gets extra special treats written into an ehcp.