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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Forest school only for 'select' children

543 replies

Eyelashesrgreat · 25/06/2022 05:18

Ds in Y3 and his school have recently 'selected' children from his class to go to forest school. The children do this weekly whilst the other children have to stay at school and do work. The children (selected) get to wear their own clothes that day and have treats.

The school did the same thing last year and ds wasn't chosen then. Ds has had a really difficult time recently at school and would have loved to have been selected for this activity. I asked his teacher if all the children will eventually get their turn at the forest school but she has said only certain children can go. AIBU to think this is a bit unfair?

OP posts:
Original poster
Eyelashesrgreat · 25/06/2022 06:33

There are 2 children on free school meals and they weren't chosen. The children who have been are the ones that the teacher selects for the best activities in class, rewards etc.

OP posts:
Wheelz46 · 25/06/2022 06:33

You say the confident children are the ones being chosen but have you sat in the classroom on a regular basis to see if that confidence extends to the classroom?

Original poster
Eyelashesrgreat · 25/06/2022 06:34

I asked last year for the criteria and I didn't get a proper answer just that 'only some children can go'. The other children 'might be able to go for a walk' but that didn't happen.

OP posts:
SandyWedges · 25/06/2022 06:35

I feel that both times the list was drawn up that it is largely down to select people the teacher likes if you feel your teacher is that petty I suggest you move schools. That would be really unprofessional and also counterproductive as they'd be left teaching the ones they "didn't like".

It could be the kids selected are ahead of the others in lessons and don't need extra maths lessons etc. It could be free school meals. It could be anything but your teacher has no skin in the game so trust they have chosen based on criteria given to them.

Blu3Butt0n · 25/06/2022 06:36

How on earth do you know who is and isn’t on free school meals? Maybe they didn’t want to do it or the funding is being used elsewhere.

Bundlesofchocforme · 25/06/2022 06:36

My DD is ‘chosen’ for a lot of these type of activities. Outwardly, she is very well behaved and looks no different to the other children in her class & I have heard mutterings from other parents in the playground. What they don’t know is that she is adopted and has all the trauma that goes with that. What looks like treats from the outside are precious opportunities for her to build trusting relationships with adults after she has been so terribly hurt before.

I do understand the apparent unfairness and wish they could all have these extras but I would gladly swap the chance of her feeling left out with the trauma she has suffered which will effect her for the rest of her life.

if she wasn’t at the school, another child would probably have the chance to go, but she does also bring a fair amount of additional funding which contributes to the cost of the extras as well as other things that all of the children benefit from.

Original poster
Eyelashesrgreat · 25/06/2022 06:36

No but the parents tell me how they are and they are not covering up any confidence issues, they are well known for being popular and happy children.

OP posts:
Malvasylvestris · 25/06/2022 06:36

This is ridiculous and I say this as a teacher and Forest School trained leader.

Children who struggle with school should have the opportunity to experience Forest School even more than those who don't, plenty of research shows the benefits for both the child and the school in terms of improved academic outcomes as well as mental health etc.

Teaching Science teacher in a city school I am often disheartened at the lack of knowledge about the natural world; things like Forest School should be an essential part of the curriculum, not a 'treat' used to exclude the children who would benefit from it the most.

Have the school given an explanation for why only certain children can go?

SpringIntoChaos · 25/06/2022 06:39

Eyelashesrgreat · 25/06/2022 05:41

That sounds awful!! The children who have been selected are the teacher's favourites, it's a very cliquey school unfortunately.

Absolute rubbish!! Not a school in the land would a) select 'favourites' for a weekly activity, ignoring everyone else! b) have the budget to 'treat favourites', or c) GET AWAY WITH IT 🤣🤦‍♀️

There are specific reason these activities are offered to selected children. Most often they are for Pupil Premium children...which is budgeted for directly out of the PP funding (this is expected...and is financially accounted for on the PP costing). Sometimes it is for children with an EHCP or on the SEND register or nurture register.

You have NO idea which of these scenarios it is...and are showing such utter ignorance and bitterness it's embarrassing!

Have a word with yourself ffs!! 🤬😱

Original poster
Eyelashesrgreat · 25/06/2022 06:39

No explanation at all, I feel it is very unfair as the other children are watching the select group disappear for a nice time while they stay in doing work.

OP posts:
Original poster
Eyelashesrgreat · 25/06/2022 06:41

It's well known for being a very cliquey school, that if your face doesn't fit you don't get chosen for things. Everyone knows everyone's business so really don't think I'm being petty here. The SENCO herself told me that there are two children with SEN.

OP posts:
SandyWedges · 25/06/2022 06:42

Eyelashesrgreat · 25/06/2022 06:39

No explanation at all, I feel it is very unfair as the other children are watching the select group disappear for a nice time while they stay in doing work.

They probably need to do the work.

SandyWedges · 25/06/2022 06:43

Eyelashesrgreat · 25/06/2022 06:41

It's well known for being a very cliquey school, that if your face doesn't fit you don't get chosen for things. Everyone knows everyone's business so really don't think I'm being petty here. The SENCO herself told me that there are two children with SEN.

Just stop asking so many questions about the other kids and focus on yours. They'll be fine.

Original poster
Eyelashesrgreat · 25/06/2022 06:43

Why? What are you trying to say? That they are not goid academically?

OP posts:
SpringIntoChaos · 25/06/2022 06:44

Eyelashesrgreat · 25/06/2022 06:41

It's well known for being a very cliquey school, that if your face doesn't fit you don't get chosen for things. Everyone knows everyone's business so really don't think I'm being petty here. The SENCO herself told me that there are two children with SEN.

The SENDCO has NOT told you that there are only 2 children on the SEND register 🤣🤣🤣 They would lose their job if they did!!

Original poster
Eyelashesrgreat · 25/06/2022 06:44

No the SENCO told me. I didn't ask, this was a few months ago.

OP posts:
Original poster
Eyelashesrgreat · 25/06/2022 06:45

She absolutely did, she's also the deputy head and no chance of losing her job! Like I said, village school and very small!

OP posts:
AmaryllisNightAndDay · 25/06/2022 06:45

I get that some kids might benefit from treats at school

Do you take your kids to a petting zoo or bowling or a water park? You said these are kids from difficult backgrounds, they are the kids who don't get those treats at home. Don't begrudge.

but don't they all deserve a turn or at least an alternative?

Your kids are getting an alternative, they are benefitting from more classroom time. These are kids who don't benefit so much from classroom time and they are disruptive, it takes them out of the classroom so the other kids get a bit of peace to learn in.

My own ds has suffered with anxiety and low self esteem due to bullying issues since Y2 at the school.

Your DS's school sounds pretty crap if they are so tiny and yet unable to deal with bullying. I would focus on that before fretting about forest school, but if it really is favouritism then on top of the bullying I would find a better school.

Sirzy · 25/06/2022 06:46

You have no idea what is going on with the other children. You may think you do but you don’t.

when Ds was in reception a local group did a forest school block aimed at the children with communication difficulties so DS took part. The school didn’t make a song and dance about what the criteria where though so other parents won’t have known

SandyWedges · 25/06/2022 06:47

Eyelashesrgreat · 25/06/2022 06:43

Why? What are you trying to say? That they are not goid academically?

That there is some kind of criteria. It could be that those who are ahead have been able to go and those who need more lessons have to stay behind. Or it could be free school meals. It could be anything. Just don't assume it's becuase they are "favourites" and doubt the teachers integrity.

girlmom21 · 25/06/2022 06:48

Eyelashesrgreat · 25/06/2022 06:33

There are 2 children on free school meals and they weren't chosen. The children who have been are the ones that the teacher selects for the best activities in class, rewards etc.

So Forest School is a reward activity?

GetThatHelmetOn · 25/06/2022 06:48

I felt a bit like you when my DS’s friend was selected all the time for very nice STEM activities, while my son, who loved the subject was left behind.

It turned out that despite my son and his friend having very very similar upbringings and houses, his friend lives in a postcode that is underrepresented in universities and we don’t.

Original poster
Eyelashesrgreat · 25/06/2022 06:48

"You said these are kids from difficult backgrounds"

I did not say this. They are not from difficult backgrounds at all! Read my posts and you will see that none of these children have any issues!

OP posts:
LadyPenelope68 · 25/06/2022 06:50

@Eyelashesrgreat
When I say the children who have been chosen have no SEN issues I am totally correct. It is a very small school and there are 2 children with SEND issues. I absolutely know this
No, you absolutely do not. I’m a primary teacher, additional needs can present in many, many different forms, there is absolutely no way whatsoever you can say you know who has got a fact. I’ve children in my class who have SEN needs, who other parents would not even suspect/consider.

It may also be pupils on FSM, but the school aren’t going to tell you that as it would enable you to work out which parents are financially disadvantaged which is none of your business.

Just because you think your child is having a difficult time, that could be absolutely minor compared to things other children at the school are experiencing, that you know nothing about.

Morph22010 · 25/06/2022 06:51

Eyelashesrgreat · 25/06/2022 06:41

It's well known for being a very cliquey school, that if your face doesn't fit you don't get chosen for things. Everyone knows everyone's business so really don't think I'm being petty here. The SENCO herself told me that there are two children with SEN.

Why are they telling you personal information about other kids I’d really worry about what they are telling other people about you if they are this casual with offering information about freely