How much board/rent

[loopshot]

So ds18 just left college and started a full time job. He's on an apprentice wage so gets £192 a week. He pays £15 travel pass and £50 driving lesson a week.

Just discussing with DP (not ds dad) about charging him board. I said I haven't charged him yet, I don't know how much to charge him, should I wait till he's on full money?
Basically DP has had a go saying If I don't charge him board then he isn't paying anything towards bills. Why should ds live here rent free, why should he pay for him!

I never said he can live here rent free I just said I don't know how much to charge him. He's really pissed me off with his comment!

So who is being unreasonable and how much do you think I should charge ds?

I've always gone for 10% of take home

That then means it takes into account lower pay rates but emphasises that it's not a free ride once you're out of education

I’d charge nothing. Apprentice wages are purposely low because it’s assumed the young person will be living rent/board free with their parents.

Your DP should shut the fuck up. Not his child, so he has no say.

Don't charge anything unless you genuinely need it.

Don’t charge him. Give him a chance to get on his feet and save some money. It will be better longer term for you. Is your partner always his horrible about your son?

Obviously the big caveat being if you can’t afford to feed and house him.

I would suggest £15 or £20 per week.

I feel like I don't really want to charge him anything yet, but I also want him to learn that he can't live in a place rent free. I do want him to get on his feet though and save a bit of money.

Also we go away in august which is paid for but I've told him he can now take his own spending money so he does need to save.

My DP is ok with him most of the time. Just when it comes to money, like me paying for things for him or buying him clothes etc he gets the face on saying no wonder I'm always skint! What the fuck does he expect me to do when he was in full time education, not support my son!

I honestly think there is a bit of jealousy there from DP!

Could you charge him a token amount, so he gets used to paying/budgeting, but save it for him secretly so it could go towards future needs? (Assuming you can afford to do that)

This.

I agree, £20 a week or something then when he moves out you can give it all back to him as a deposit in his new place?

Apprenticeships are a type of full time education. It’s just a mix of on the job/practical education plus classroom education. They’re not really a “full time job” which is why apprentices don’t get the minimum wage.

There are two issues, the situation with you partner and the actual teaching young people that life isn’t free and teaching them to budget.

I don’t ascribe to the if you don’t need the money they shouldn’t pay. I charge DS £20 per week it’s a token amount and we don’t need it. DS is saving for the deposit on a house.

Your DS will have about £130 per week left over. What will he start to pay for? Probably his own mobile phone and clothes? Issue here is how sensible do you think your DS will be with his wages.

Of course you had to buy everything for your DS when he was in education and your partner is being stupid to think anything else was possible.

id suggest £25 pw and ask him to put an equal amount into a savings account. If everything at home is covered, that still leaves him with a reasonable amount for clothing, socialising, etc.

It's reasonable for him to contribute to food costs at least, rather than have the entire amount as spending money. I think £50 a week would be very reasonable. My parents were kind and put rent money into a savings account for when I bought first home.

£192 I am assuming is take home pay? And almost £70 of that is for driving lessons and travel pass? If I didn't need it I would only take say, £15 or 20 (as he needs to know nothing comes free in life.) £50 as a pp suggested is just too much.

I do agree with others that your DP can fuck off though. If he wants and needs more money in the household, then HE can work more hours, or get a better job, not milk it out of some teenage lad who is on an apprenticeship.

Yes £192 is take home pay. I was actually thinking about £20/25 a week for now. I don't really need the money but like I say I do want him to learn about paying bills. Good idea to put it away in a savings account for when he decides to buy an house

If you can afford not to, I wouldn’t charge him anything on that wage. But if you feel you should, I’d say £20 a week maximum.

Your partner is a jealous prick, how the fuck is he jealous of your child? He’d be out the door. No time for men like that.

Well I've told DP if he doesn't like it and wants to live here rent free then to fuck off and live in his own house which he rents out. I'll just apply for child maintenance for our 2 dc together. He would end up paying more than he is now. He didn't say anything then!

Depending on his apprenticeship he may need to be saving money to buy the tools of the trade, equipment, PPE, and so on. Also, if he’s doing PT college courses as part of the apprenticeship he may have expenses for books/e-book subscriptions, need a computer and such. We can’t assume that money is actually disposable income.

I wouldn't charge anything while he's just starting out.

Is this how people really speak to each other?

Is it your house or his?

Just read you don't need the money. Definitely don't charge anything then! He will learn about money when he moves out don't worry about that!

Sounds like a plan.