How much board/rent

[loopshot]

So ds18 just left college and started a full time job. He's on an apprentice wage so gets £192 a week. He pays £15 travel pass and £50 driving lesson a week.

Just discussing with DP (not ds dad) about charging him board. I said I haven't charged him yet, I don't know how much to charge him, should I wait till he's on full money?
Basically DP has had a go saying If I don't charge him board then he isn't paying anything towards bills. Why should ds live here rent free, why should he pay for him!

I never said he can live here rent free I just said I don't know how much to charge him. He's really pissed me off with his comment!

So who is being unreasonable and how much do you think I should charge ds?

DS is 17 and on a similar apprenticeship wage. I don’t charge him anything but he pays for the following himself each month
bus fare £42
gym £35
mobile phone £10
driving lessons £140
spotify for himself and his younger brother £14
He also buys his own clothes, going out money etc but doesn’t buy a lot. He puts a large chunk away each month into savings which I would much rather see him do for his future than take anything off him. He’s saving us a fortune by choosing not to go to university so I don’t need to skim £50 a week off his wages to prove some point about not living rent free.

He’s working bloody hard 9 to 5 five days a week, I’m really proud of him so as far as I’m concerned his wages are his reward and motivation to keep going whilst his mates are sleeping in til midday before doing one or two lessons at sixth form and then back on their Xboxes by 3.30!

Get rid of the partner he sounds like an arse.

I'm sorry but your DP sounds like an idiot if he really doesn't see the difference between him and your DS. Surely it's not rocket science to understand it's not the same.

He chose to be in a relationship with someone who has a child, and in most parts of the world unlike the UK parents don't charge their kids for living in the family home.

Because actually, it's really hard to save, pay for driving lessons, get on the property ladder, etc. as a young person, and much harder for younger generations. Your DP is behaving like a child and it doesn't seem like he views you as a family unit.

I have said around 10% too but told ds he can have the summer off before getting a job. He’s having a year off to decide what he wants to do. I said we will sit down and review every six months.

if he decides to go to uni it will stay low. If he decides not to go to uni then I have told him that charging him £100 a month isn’t going to help him in the longer term. He is fine with that. We’re all on the same page

I would charge a small amount to help him get used to budgeting but secretly put it in a savings account for him to have when he moves out. Hopefully that will help encourage him into good saving habits.

I totally agree DP is being an absolute arse with all of this and it really really is putting me off him and seriously making me think twice about this relationship.
It's not like I'm letting some random person live in the house rent free or for £20 a week. He's my bloody son and just got himself a good job that will eventually pay good. So whilst he's not earning very much let him enjoy having a bit of money for himself now!

I think I will charge £20 a week when we get back off holiday and he isn't saving for that, and put it in to a saving account for him.

I wouldn’t charge either, especially as he’s paying for his own driving lessons. We are paying for our son’s and will for all our children. I will only start charging if they are still living at home post Uni. My mum charged me £5 a week when I was earning around £60 a week, which I thought was fair enough. She was of the opinion you should charge your child something, even if a low amount. I don’t agree, but am working and don’t need the money. As you don’t need it either I’d either not charge or charge and save to return for help with his own place one day

I could have guessed straight away that he's not his dad.

Your so called DP resents your son, and the tables would be turned if it were his own son.

See it time and again on here and it's depressingly common.

I’m a single parent but my DS is on a similar wage and gives me £100 a month. I save it when I can, slip him the odd £20 when he’s skint at the end of the month, but it’s the principle. Gives him a sense of pride too.

Charge some
Save it & give it to them on 21 or when they move out
Add to the savings if you can too

This.

He's a teenager for god's sake.