To ask this of my neighbours?

[Donaldduck22]

I am on the autistic spectrum so sometimes I find it hard to know whether certain social things are okay. I'm going away for a week and need someone to come in daily to feed my cat and sort his litter tray would it be okay to ask my neighbour? I would pay her and tell her there was no obligation. I'm just a bit worried about having a stranger come in the house in case they Rob me. I suppose I could put my cat in a cattery but I know he would really hate it. I don't know my neighbour super well, on a chatty level we say hello and have a chat occasionally.

@missdemeanors how am I assuming it by saying I hope she doesn't steal from me? An assumption would be "she'll probably steal from me"
I am very worried about giving a complete stranger access to my house and all of my belongings. I think that's fairly rational to be honest.
Some people on here were clearly never taught that if you've got nothing nice to say, don't say anything. Probably the same people who have be kind on their Facebook profiles.

Nobody here has been nasty to you, OP, but you did make a pretty sweeping statement about cat/pet sitters which has upset some people.

No one has been nasty, we've just pointed out that if you use a professional person who does this as a business, the likelihood of them robbing you or copying your keys for one of their thieving mates ( which one poster suggested) is minuscule. Why would they? It would ruin their reputation and business, and since they'd be easily traced they'd end up with a criminal conviction.

I appreciate that anxiety isn't a rational thing, but you can apply logic to a scenario to know that the likelihood of an event is minuscule, even if you still feel the anxiety.

Tbh what I found most upsetting was your post saying if your neighbour wouldn't/couldn't help you, you'd put your cat into an environment which you knew they'd hate and would find highly stressful for an entire week. I just can't get my head around doing that to a defenceless animal.

I beg to differ @coffeecupsandfairylights. I don't think the OP has done anything wrong and she is not talking bout ALL pet sitters so no need to get offended on their behalf.

Do you have a local facebook group people are always asking for recommendations on people who do this for a living in my area and they have insurance as well.

I am a pet-sitter, so funnily enough, I do take offence at the suggestion that I might rob my clients.

Well if we're going there then I'll share my experience of a pet sitter. She didn't steal but she did snoop and told her friend (who later told others) some very personal stuff about her clients. So not everyone is like you and the OP is right to believe that not everyone is an angel.

No, not everyone is an angel.

But to say that you'd put your cat into an environment that you know they'll hate and will cause them great stress for a week rather than take the minuscule risk of being robbed by a professional cat sitter is awful.

If you can find a professional that would be best.
Someone who does this for a living is unlikely to steal from you. They have more to lose than to gain.
You can check their references, google them and ask to see their insurances.

@missdemeanors you said previously you're not being nasty but your posts are coming across like that to me. The OP is in a difficult situation so I can't see the point in making her feel worse.

A personal recommendation from someone the OP trusts would be far better than googling.

@PoseyFlump if you think it's nasty to point out how awful it would be to knowingly and needlessly inflict that level of stress on an animal then that's your prerogative.

No @missdemeanors I think it's nasty to gaslight the OP. Personally I think you're twisting her words and I'm not sure what your agenda is. I don't agree with everything the OP has said but she doesn't deserve your theatrics.

Don't accuse people of gaslighting when they've read a thread and are reporting exactly what the OP has written. That is nasty.

Read the thread if you can be bothered. The OP was asked what they would do if their neighbour couldn't/ wouldn't look after the cat. They said they would put the cat in a cattery, knowing they would hate it.

No twisting. No theatrics.

But yeah, if you don't agree that that's a cruel thing to do to a pet when there is a reasonable alternative, I can quite see that you'd feel more comfortable to start throwing the cheap 'gaslighting' shot around.

I've read every single post. The OP wanted advice on asking the neighbour. Perhaps a cattery owner will come along soon to be offended at your words. I don't like the way the OP is being harassed when she's made it clear she is autistic. It's quite plausible that her cat would be fine and she's misinterpreting the cats anxiety the way you think she's misinterpreting the risk of using a pet sitter. Really don't see the point at keep having a go at her.

Try and find a pet sitter then you won't feel awkward asking again. I pay ours £6 a visit and worth every penny.
A friend got cheeky asking me to do her cats too often. I was resentful. However I didn't live next door.
A local teen is another option

Ask your local vets if anyone of the nurses do house visits. We had one once and it was so much cheaper than a battery, the cats were happy and because they were linked to the vet I trusted them.

I never said everyone was an angel.

But it's not very nice to come on here and basically say "I don't trust pet sitters as I think they'll rob me" and then try and tell people they're being nasty because they refute your statements.

I don't like the way the OP is being harassed when she's made it clear she is autistic.

She's not being harassed. She's being called out for making a sweeping generalisation about a whole load of people. Her being autistic doesn't mean she can't also be called out on poor behaviour.

@missdemeanors what do you expect me to do, never go away ever again? Also I've said I've booked a cat sitter, I'm not putting my cat into a cattery because I know he'd dislike it. I'm doing something I don't feel 100% comfortable with because it is better for my cat. I'm not sure you have a very good understanding of autism but yes, I find it really difficult to have people I don't know in my house. But I'm doing it because it's better for my "defenseless animal". Is that good enough for you?

Yes I do have an understanding.
I don't particularly like having people coming into my space either.
I'm glad you've decided now to do the best thing for the cat.

@Donaldduck22 I think you have done the right thing. Hopefully the cat sitter will come and meet you and the cat before you leave to get the keys and see your routines. Ours is honestly lovely, lives locally and now more of a friend. Then once your comfortable with her you will always have someone to call on when you need it which is also very reassuring.